Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Love & Marriage

I can hardly believe that it has been three years since Andrew and I were married.  Today it is bitingly cold with snow on the ground, but three years ago on January 12th it was sunny and dry and in the mid 50s.  A beautiful day to get married at the Jewel Box atrium in Forest Park.  I thought it only appropriate to take some time to reflect on love and marriage and the lessons I have learned in the past 3 years. 

Here's a few things people don't tell you before you get married or they tell you and you ignore because you think they're crazy:
  1. When you get home from the honeymoon you may all of a sudden realize that your husband or wife has some of the most annoying daily habits of anyone you know.  It's true, you never thought you'd be that couple arguing over what temperature the thermostat should be set on or how to organize your refrigerator or who sleeps with whose face breathing in the others...but you will.  Give it a while and you'll narrow those arguments down to a top five and the rest work themselves out.
  2. You don't have to feel like the world is over if when people ask you "Don't you just LOVE being married?" you want to punch them in the face.  You're not alone if the first couple years feels closer to the sickness/poorer/death part of the vows.  It gets better.
  3. Love (said with a sickeningly sweet tone) is totally different from Love.  Love is less of a feeling and more of a state of mind that requires daily self-sacrifice; it's love modeled by Christ and is the hardest part of the marriage commitment.  Enjoy the moments of love but cherish the times you feel Loved...those required true sacrifice on the part of your husband or wife.
  4. Not everything works out just like it does in the movies.  Don't model your expectations based on's sure to disappoint.
  5. God didn't promise you would be happy, and despite what society tells you, that's not what you deserve either.  God promised you peace, sanctification, and joy when you pursue Him through marriage and more times than not those are found most intensely in the challenges.  Happiness can come and go but holiness lasts forever.
  6. "Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up." -Joseph Barth
Marriage is more challenging than most people let on, but there are joys in it as well.  No one but God experiences more of life with you than your spouse and with that comes understanding, love, equality, joy, and best of all the inside jokes :)!
A final note: From my Dad on our anniversary...He is longer married than I, definitely older and most likely wiser ;)
  1. Marriage is good, but hard
  2. Divorce is bad, and harder
  3. Murder means jail and you will get caught. There is a reason they always look at the spouse first.
Love you, Andrew.

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