It's cold and snowing outside today, I don't feel well, and I've let cold feet and snowflakes flying in my face--among other things--make me irritable.
The past year has been fraught with struggles and stress and I'm wrestling the weight of it into the new year.
And if the stress itself wasn't bad enough, I once heard that stress helps cause belly fat, which, on occasion, taunts me during particularly stressful days...Today's not a good day for belly fat, Adria. As I reach for the nearest chocolate something I respond, No, no it is not.
I have a tendency to push through life's disappointments and struggles up to a point and then I hit a wall and there's nothing positive in the whole world, and there I sit. Of course it isn't so, but I feel the burden of it none-the-less.
One thing I've come to love about the Psalms is that often in the writings of David a depth of grief and despair and anger flows freely. Yet, he always concludes with an assertion of God's goodness as he wills his heart to believe its truth.
This week two songs have been for me an assertion of God's goodness: Hope Now by Addison Road and Halleljah by Heather Williams.
Even now, my thoughts and feelings teeter on the edge of letting the frustration and exhaustion overwhelm. Life isn't easy. God never promised it would be. But I am trying to train my heart to sing:
"In spite of it all/your love stays the same/Hallelujah." (Hallelujah)
"Everything rides on faith now/when the world has broken me down/your love sets me free." (Hope Now)
There is freedom in God's unwavering love. That is all the goodness I need to walk through the troubles of life. Even that I do not deserve.