Saturday, January 19, 2013

A Psalm of Mama

A song of the exhausted mother. Accompanied by the piercing cries of small children and dinner boiling over on the stove.

O, Lord, I feel weary and oppressed. 
My patience has withered beneath a sun that seems never to set;
    the relief of bedtime always just out of reach.
I am assaulted with questions until I feel I will go mad.
I have grown weary of my own name.
The "Mama" that once made me glad,
    has become a scourge upon my ears.
Little hands and crying faces press in on me from all sides;
    I am surrounded by needs that are never satiated.
Dishes and laundry conspire against me--
    multiplying at an impossible rate.
I am in a desperate way.
My only sanctuary is the bathroom,
    while a little person stands outside the door asking,
    "What are you doing in there?"
Even a full night's sleep cannot banish this exhaustion.
Will I ever again complete a day feeling sane?


I am done in, yet, I will not despair;
    the Lord is my true salvation,
    because Dora the Explorer only lasts twenty-four minutes.
Patience elludes me except by Your Spirit,
    and gentleness in the face of blatent disobedience is what I long for.
I will take joy in the moments when "Mama" is accompanied by "I love you,"
    and not, "I pooped in my pants."
I will meditate on Your words--
    the ones printed on the decorative plaque,
    across from the couch,
    where I find my glassy-eyed, quiet place while my child naps.
When my alarm clock wakes me from a dead sleep,
    and I am tempted to curse the sun's consistency,
    I will try to remember this is the day the Lord has made,
    and children are a blessing from the Lord,
    and then REJOICE,
    for soon these years will be gone and I will miss them--
    proof that motherhood really does kill brain cells.

Selah.

2 comments:

  1. There isn't a mom anywhere that hasn't had these thoughts. You stated it with your usual beauty and honesty. May God bless you on the days that Mamahood is overwhelming and grant you rest at the end of the day. Having been blessed with a daughter and now my wonderful grandchildren, I totally agree how quickly childhood passes and how terribly you miss hearing mama I need...

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