The Mothering Wings of God

This morning I was praying over a particular situation and I asked God to let me see him in the midst of it. What God brought to mind was a bird completely encircling me and my family in its wings. I recalled the verse in the Gospels where Jesus says that he longed to cover the people of Jerusalem with his wings as a Mother hen covers her chicks.

We often think of God as our Father, but everything that a Mother is came directly from the nature of God too. 

The love of a mother is intimate and tender. Mothers hold little humans when they sleep and when they are sick, and dry tears of pain and sadness. They wipe boogers and butts and clean everyone's underwear. They give the best snuggles and tickles and know just how to tuck in their kids like a burrito. 

God loves us like that.

But the love of a mother is ferocious and tenacious too. They are some of the hardest working and most sacrificial people I've met. They protect and advocate and fight for the people they love. Mom's don't give up. Rightfully, there's a healthy fear and respect for the Mama Bear. 

God loves us like that too.

Today, on Mother's Day, whether you have an amazing example of a mother's love or a difficult one, God longs to wrap you in his wings like a mother hen. He longs to cover you with tenderness and shelter you with the strength of his love. 

Let him.

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem.... How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings..." Matthew 23:37

He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft. Deuteronomy 32:10-11

How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

He will cover you with his wings; you will be safe in his care; his faithfulness will protect and defend you. Psalm 91:4

Grandma

Some people have a gift for making you feel seen when you're in their presence. People who use this gift with the most power are the ones whose gentle strength makes you feel seen and safe. When you're with people like that, you can't help but feel like the best version of yourself. They make even the most insignificant of us feel important, as if seeing you is the greatest gift of their day. I imagine it's exactly what it would feel like to sit face to face with Jesus.

Grandma was one of those people

It's no wonder that everyone loved her.

She was strong, but the gentle kind, and she was so sensible that when she told you that you all but hung the moon, you'd have no choice but to believe her. You knew she had your back and she could hold it down--while wearing pressed slacks and gold clip on earrings.

Grandma was not known for her culinary prowess, so it's ironic that one of the things she was family-famous for was her pancakes. She made the biggest, fluffiest pancakes, with crisp, buttery edges--to be eaten with lots of syrup and a cold glass of whole milk.

To this day I can't really name a breakfast I'd rather have. All of us have tried for years to replicate these magical pancakes made from an unassuming "Just Add Water" mix, but, we've all found out "they're not Grandma's pancakes!"

I wonder though if the real magic ingredient was Grandma. Not, like, in the pancakes...that'd be gross. It was the time you got to sit in her kitchen with the bright yellow cabinets, just talking, while she poured out a pancake the size of your face, served up, just for you. A moment in time that felt utterly ordinary but actually was magical because of who you spent it with.

Grandma was so many things. She was the lined yellow pads where she faithfully wrote out her sermons. She was the notecard that carried her thoughts of you to your door. She was back rubs when you were falling asleep, a soft voice reading about a boy who grew duck feet. She was a bag full of Cheetos to share. She was the easy mark for your pranks. She was the checkbook ledger carefully balanced. She was walks to the park and dinner so, so, so slowly eaten. She was a wife, daughter, sister, mother, Grandma, and more. She is a child of God. 

She was someone who would have thought this was maybe just a little too much fuss being made about her. She'd rather be talking about the people she loved, praising our victories and praying for our challenges. I think it's fitting then, that the only suitable tribute to a woman like that is to honor her impact in our lives by truly loving the people we love.

I may never have a pancake as good as Grandma's again, but perhaps, if I work at it, I can make one for someone I love, because, just maybe, the real trick wasn't the amount of butter she put in the pan or the consistency of the batter--believe me, I've tried! Maybe it was the steadiness in the hand that held the spatula, the love in the eyes that took time to see you, the gentle strength of her voice taking interest in you. Those are things I aspire to be: steady, loving, gentle, strong.

I wonder if that's the secret of everything we do here on earth. Every mundane thing can be made magical when bathed in the light of Christ-like love. Where you can make pancakes from a "Just Add Water" mix that people talk about for generations. Where the kind of strength and gentleness that can only come from the Holy Spirit leaves the people around you believing in the better versions of themselves.

It's a secret that Grandma had learned and shared with everyone in her life. It's a secret we have the chance to share with everyone in our lives.

I miss her. I'm grateful that I will get to see her again, and in the meantime, I want to learn to be more like her.

Come to Gethsemane, My Friend

On the night before his crucifixion Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to grieve and to pray. He brought his friends with him, but his friends, his brothers, didn't extend to him the love of bearing witness to his grief. 

I get it. Grief makes me uncomfortable, especially to watch. It highlights all my insecurities about not being adequate. I don't know what to do. Its weight feels like a burden of accusation or its emptiness a yawning depth I fear might swallow me too. Look away. Get away. Honestly, those are my gut reactions when I see grief. 

Maybe that's why it was easiest for Jesus' friends to close their eyes and escape into sleep, when he asked them to sit with him. It's not that they didn't care about Jesus, they just didn't really understand his pain, and anyone's pain, understood or not, is uncomfortable to witness.

Right now, my black brothers and sisters, I want to acknowledge, that you are in the Garden of Grief, asking God to let this cup pass from you and your children. Jesus knows your pain, he grieved and cried out to God, in fear for his life. 

Come to Gethsemane, my friend. God sees you there. Jesus sits and grieves with you. But I want to sit and grieve with you too.

Right now, my white brothers and sisters, echoing through our nation is the gut reflex, look away, get away. The questions feel frightening, maybe even threatening. Why does evil wear a face like mine? Am I part of the problem? What can I really do? Our response may be to deflect, point fingers in other directions. Or maybe, it's just easier to close our eyes and sleep.

Come to Gethsemane, my friend. Our brothers and sisters are inviting us to bear witness to their grief, to cry out to God, together, to let this cup pass.

Some of us stay outside the garden and it is easy to deflect and to pass judgement on how others grieve. Did Jesus really need to cry to the point of sweating blood? Doesn't that seem a little extreme?

Some of us step into the garden but it all feels too big and too scary to face and so we anesthetize ourselves with sleep. We close our eyes on our sister's weeping, we turn our head from our brother's screams. 

This is not love. This is not living as the family of God. There is a different way.

Come to Gethsemane, my friends. In the Garden of grief you don't have to come with the "right" way to grieve. You don't have to come with the "right" answers. But, you do need to come with your eyes and ears open. In the garden, only our Father has the answers. In the garden, we only cling to each other and cry out and wait for Jesus to show us the path out.

Gethsemane is a place of grieving but it is also a place of submission. The path out will not be easy, Jesus showed us it is a path of sacrifice, a path of humility. I don't know what cross our Father will specifically call each of us to carry, but I know he will ask us to carry one. Our beloved, Jesus, carried one for us too.

Our Father will speak to each of us in Gethsemane, words of comfort and words of challenge, whispering to us the specific things he is asking us to submit to him. But he won't ask us to carry our crosses alone. Because of Jesus, our Father will never forsake us. This gives us courage.

Come to Gethsemane, my friends. We need Jesus and we need each other here. It is where the journey begins. It is where an ask for and an answer of sacrificial love changes the world.

Good Friday - Meditations on the Last Seven Sayings of Jesus

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Italicized words are added, otherwise content is taken from the ESV Bible

Father, Forgive Them

Today we remember that it is our sin that brought Jesus to the cross.  And it is only through the blood of Jesus that we find forgiveness.

     Though you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, the stain of your guilt is still before me, declares the Lord GOD (Jeremiah 2:22).   For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins (Hebrews 9:22).  Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned—for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law.  Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come.  But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many (Romans 5:12-15). For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23).

     It was written surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.  But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all (Isaiah 53:4-6). And so if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).  And, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them (Hebrews 7:25).

     But who can forgive sins but God alone (Mark 2:7)?

     Jesus declared, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins (Matthew 26:28).

     "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)

Join me in a time of humble and grateful adoration of the undeserved forgiveness we find in the work of Jesus Christ on the cross.

You Will be in Paradise

Not only do we find forgiveness in Jesus’ sacrifice, we are promised the hope of a future and eternal relationship with God.

    Jesus says truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life (John 6:47).

     It is written that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 5:21). And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son (1 John 5:11).  Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. (Romans 5:1-2)

     And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.  "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him (John 3:14-17).

    And Jesus promises, truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life (John 5:24).  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven (Matthew 5:12).  Anybody who receives this reward shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." (Revelation 7:16-17).

    In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? (John 14:2).

     "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise." (Luke 23:43)

Join me in prayer as we praise God for the hope that we have based on God’s promise of eternal life for those who believe.

Behold Your Son! Behold Your Mother!

Even in His last hour, Jesus was caring for His own.  One of His primary means of caring for and providing for His people is through the unity of the church—His Body. 

    Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom (Luke 12:32).  For God has so composed the body…that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together (1 Corinthians 12:24-26).

     Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock[…]. And now I commend you to God and […] (Acts 20:28-32)[ …] a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another (John 13:34-35). For whoever loves God must also love his brother (1 John 4:21).

     When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!"  Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" (John 19:26-17).

Join me in prayer as we thank God for the provision of the Body of Christ, and solemnly consider how we can better carry out His call on our lives.

Why Have You Forsaken Me?

Sin means death and eternal separation from God.  Jesus paid the price and experienced the agony of separation from His Father as He bore our sins.

    For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).  Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors (Isaiah 53:12).

     The way of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD (Proverbs 15:9).  Yes, your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.  For your hands are defiled with blood and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies (Isaiah 59:2-3).

     Upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace (Isaiah 53:5).  And He cried,

     "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).

Join me in prayer as we acknowledge the agony that Christ endured on our behalf, so that we might be brought back to God.

I Thirst

To be our perfect sacrifice Christ was necessarily fully human, while still fully God.  He endured the temptation, the pain, and the suffering that came with that humiliation.

     And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14).  When the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons (Galatians 4:4-5).

He had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people (Hebrews 2:17).

     Humbled, as a human, He experienced suffering.

     He was a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised (Isaiah 53:3). In His suffering Jesus prayed, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me.  Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done."  And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him.  And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground (Luke 22:42-44).

    They spit in his face and struck him (Matthew 26:67).

     After all of this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said…"I thirst." (John 19:28).

Join me in prayer as we meditate on what Christ endured in His humanity, so that He might be our intercessor and let us pray for strength and guidance to the one who identifies with all our struggles.

It is Finished

God’s Word promises a covenant that would bring full victory over the power of Satan.  Jesus’ death was the only sacrifice necessary to atone for our sins once and for all.

     Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah (Jeremiah 31:31).

     Just as the LORD God said to the serpent, I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel (Genesis 3:14).   For the reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil (1 John 3:8).

     Just as Jesus explained to His disciples, "Everything that is written about the Son of Man by the prophets will be accomplished.  For he will be delivered over to the Gentiles and will be mocked and shamefully treated and spit upon.  And after flogging him, they will kill him, and on the third day he will rise." (Luke 18:31-34).

     And we know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.  For the death he died he died to sin, once for all (Romans 6:9-11).

     But death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law (1 Corinthians 15:54-56). For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit (1 Peter 3:18).

     For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near […].  Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, "Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired, but a body have you prepared for me; in burnt offerings and sin offerings you have taken no pleasure.  Then I said, 'Behold, I have come to do your will, O God, as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.'"  When he said above, "You have neither desired nor taken pleasure in sacrifices and offerings and burnt offerings and sin offerings" (these are offered according to the law), then he added, "Behold, I have come to do your will." He does away with the first in order to establish the second.   And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.  And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet.  For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified (Hebrews 10:1-14).

     For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed (1 Corinthians 5:7).

     Jesus said, "It is finished" (John 19:30).

Join me in prayer as we stand in awe of the perfect and complete sacrifice, promised by God, and given through Jesus’ death on the cross, and understand that there can never again be a day that we are found guilty under the law.

Into Your Hands I commit my spirit

Jesus, the very Son of God, submitted to the authority of God, His Father.  Jesus knew that He could perfectly trust in God’s will. And in His last words before His death He again affirmed that He came to do the will of the One that sent Him.

    For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again.  No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.  I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again.  This charge I have received from my Father (John 10:17-18).

     For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me (John 6:38).

    "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me.  Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." (Luke 22:42) “I have come to do your will” (Hebrews 10:9).

    Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!" And having said this he breathed his last (Luke 23:46).

In conclusion, join with me in prayer as we too commit our lives and our purposes to the authority of God.  We know that it is only through Jesus’ sacrifice that we can truly live.  And we can trust in and rest in His perfect will even in our struggles.

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Dear Urban Pastor

What you do is so hard. It's necessary and amazing, but it is hard.

You never seem to have enough money, enough time, enough help, enough...anything. God is so faithful to you, but there are still days when the load feels heavy and the road seems lonely.

Sometimes you sit around the table with leaders whose successes look different than yours and it's hard to not question if you're doing it right. Maybe you have a second or third job to make ends meet, attendance is spotty, and leadership development is painfully slow. Other leaders ask about your five year plans and you are wondering if you'll even make it through the next week.

Chances are that you ARE doing it right--you just might be doing something different. God never said your church had to look like anything but the Body of Christ.

Sometimes people even question your call. Couldn't you use your gifts in another place? At another church? In another neighborhood? You could go anywhere!

And you could. You could go anywhere to serve the Lord, but instead you have chosen to plant your feet in the midst of chaos and declare the victory of Jesus. Christ has used the light of his Word, held in your faithful hands, to beckon people out of the darkness. You have dared to follow the example of the Good Shepherd, who left the 99 to search for the 1. You and your family climb into the dark and rocky places searching for the lost.

I just want you to know that you are my s/hero.

If today is a day where the burden is heavy and the way seems unclear, let me speak truth to you. 

You are a beloved child of God. You have nothing to prove. 

You are a faithful servant of  the Almighty. There is nothing he cannot provide.

You are a warrior for the Victorious King. You can battle on, knowing the victory is sure.

You are the lamb of the Good Shepherd. There is rest and strength in his arms.

You are called and commissioned by Jesus. Your neighbors are worth taking up your cross and following him for.

Some days you ask, "Why me?" But the real question is "Why not you?" God has proven time after time that he can accomplish unlikely things in unlikely places through unlikely people when they are faithful.

Continue on, faithful one. The task is too big for you alone, so fall on Jesus and hold tight to the hands of others called into the breach.

Won't it be sweet on that day when our Savior embraces you and says, "Well, done!"

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 

Ephesians 6.10

With Love,

An Urban Missionary

"Some want to live within the sound

Of church or chapel bell;

I want to run a rescue shop,

Within a yard of hell."

- C. T. Studd

Freedom

The fireworks were so close overhead it felt like we were almost inside of them. People were whooping and yelling in excitement and then, over the portable speaker played the song "Good, Good Father." Amid the crackling booms and sparkling flashes and excited squeals from children, a few arms raised, responding in worship to

"You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am." 

I looked around at the families who had welcomed us into their celebration and was overwhelmed with what a good father the Lord is to His people. The men and women represented that evening came from all walks of life and experiences but they had come to know the goodness of their heavenly Father. There were men and women who had been bought back from the slavery of addiction, prisoners who had been released with purpose and calling, the lonely set firmly in the family of God, and broken families given new hope and healing. Some have been walking with the Lord for months, others years, all with their own stories of God's redemption on their lives and each playing a part in an urban movement here in Wichita, Kansas.

Our family is blessed to see God's great work in their lives and be a small part in what the Lord is doing in our city through these mighty men and women of God. Our son ran through the crowds and played and rough-housed with men, who in another context or from an outsiders-eye might give pause, and I felt nothing but joy at what he can learn from their brave surrenders to Christ and unashamed pursuit of God's glory in this city. They are taking the Gospel into places and into lives that many others dare not go in the city and the Kingdom is advancing as a result.

A few minutes later, the grand finale of fireworks burst forth in perfect timing with the next song on the playlist and the glorious sprays of color and light against the sky danced to

"You unravel me with a melody
You surround me with a song
of deliverance, from my enemies
Till all my fears are gone
I am no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God."

Celebration of freedom afforded us in this country is not insignificant, but it dwarfs in comparison to the freedom given to us in Christ. The knowledge and weight of this gift swirled through the group like the smoke from the fireworks, nearly as tangible.

It was a moment I will not soon forget. Hearts who once knew what it felt like to be enslaved to sin were unfurled before God, their bodies so small in silhouette against the the finale of fireworks, even smaller before our great God, yet joyful and fearless children standing in the freedom of their Father's love. That kind of freedom is contagious.

The Medlens on the Move

New things are again on the horizon for the Medlen family and they are leading us back to one of our favorite places...St. Louis!

God has brought our family on such a journey these past few years! There have been so many highs and lows and he has brought us through and into things we never anticipated. We have had to learn to trust the Lord in new ways and follow him to unexpected places and have been blessed to witness his Spirit move among the urban poor in new and exciting ways.  While our family and roles and ministry locations within World Impact have changed a lot over the past four years, our call and vision to empower urban leaders to plant healthy churches in the city and see communities transformed by the victory of Jesus has remained. And so, it is with excitement that our family is looking to our next chapter with World Impact back in St. Louis, Missouri, in January 2017!

We will be serving as Co-Directors of the St. Louis ministry efforts, working to deepen and expand our rich history of ministry contacts and partnerships. While the mission of World Impact has never wavered, we have charted new strategies and even larger visions for the ministry of World Impact under the leadership of our new president Rev. Efrem Smith. As our family returns to a place we so dearly love—a place with a long history of ministry—we hope to advance the Kingdom in a way that builds on that history and moves forward with the new opportunities and strategies our ministry offers.

Moving is never easy and our family will be sad to leave our ministry team here in Wichita and the many friends and co-laborers for the Kingdom that we have lived and served alongside these past years. However, we are also excited and honored to be able to return to a city that we love, and have never ceased having a burden for, and participate in God’s plans for St. Louis. 

The Days When

The days when I feel victorious as a follower of Jesus, a missionary, a wife, and a mom are so few in number. The days when I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, inadequate, and like I'm just barely making it through are too many to count. There are days where pridefully I think, wow, I'm totally rocking this working and homeschooling and parenting thing, and then there are most days--heeeeeeelllllppp!!!

Parenting and homeschooling have been particularly hard of late. We've traveled a lot and our Nut is getting old enough to really deal with some older kid attitudes and feelings. Wild Thing is the most exploring and obstinate child I know, which makes for lots of redirection and discipline all while trying to work and teach. School has been a grind this year. While chasing Wild Thing around the house, I've been doing my very best not to scream and run away crying (even while I explain to Nut that this is not an appropriate life response to school lessons) while we together try to navigate some of his particular challenges.

Today has been so hard and it is only a little over half way over. It hasn't felt like a victory at all. Every spelling word and math problem felt like a battle that was technically a win, but experientially damaging. Every attitude of resistance and defiance draining sanity and feelings of competency and patience. I'm really tempted to write today (heck, this week) off as a loss, a monument of inadequacy, but I'm not going to.

After lunch today Wild Thing was napping and Nut was in the backyard serving a debt of disrespect and I sat inside finding shelter in the silence. I felt so tired. I declared how hard today has been and acknowledged how many times I wanted to throw in the towel. My thoughts edged toward feelings of defeat but...

I didn't throw in the towel. Victory. I only yelled a little bit. Victory. I often chose calm and teaching words. Victory. I did my best to practice life and parenting choices that we are being coached in. Victory. I chose (mostly) not to mentally be somewhere else and be present in the thick of it. Victory. I acknowledged that I wasn't going to get the things done today that I had hoped and experienced the frustration but (mostly) didn't let it overpower my approach to parenting and teaching. Victory. I fought for a heart of peace today. Victory.

When I went outside to release him from his duties, Nut Nut handed me a fistful of love in the language of little boys, an assortment of tiny, pretty things picked carefully from among the weeds. I filled my little vase, given from another boy-mom for just these occasions, took a moment to take it in, and then we sat back down at the table to finish school.

I am thankful for the days when the Lord lets me see victory more like a bouquet of pretty weeds and an unspoken commitment from the ones you love to imperfectly keep doing hard things together and less like an epic, conquering thrill. It makes more of life feel possible and Christ's grace on my everyday life so much sweeter.

Grandpa

Some people leave legacies which stir nations. Others leave quieter legacies—but every bit as important—which sway the limbs of a family tree. That’s my Grandpa. It’s the little things that add up to be the measure of a man.

Geodes and scientific explanations and t-shirts printed with wildlife. Watches and spotless shoes and a garage all in place. Western novels and handkerchiefs and knives for your pockets. Cheesy jokes and Fudgesicles and meals always eaten on time. Expressive blue eyes and flashing white smile and skin warmed with a tan. Genealogies and Japanese swords and stories from the South. Anxious thoughts and tender worry and his heart on the line. Tight hugs and little gifts and words whispered with love.

Precise. Tender. Sarcastic. Faithful. Strong. Anxious. Generous. Orderly. Quiet. Funny. Simple. Loving. Sincere.

That’s my Grandpa. 

When I try to put my finger on the core of who he was I settle on a man who lived out faithfulness to the Lord through serving his family. My memories of him over the years are always enveloped in the kind of unconditional love that gives you confidence, the kind of love that is quiet and yet so pervasive that it squeezes in around everything life brings and gives you a safe place to land.

When Grandpa slipped me another turquoise Swiss Army knife because green was my favorite color, or listened so intently to me explain, at length, the 7 Colors of Gravity (which totally made sense in my head when I was seven), or expressed his worry over my safety, or shared with all his “girls” things dear to his heart (mostly scientific in nature) he sowed so many seeds of love.

As a young child I didn’t understand that not everyone was given this gift or that living under its warmth and breathing in its life shapes you, like a tree planted in fertile soil under the life-giving sun. However, with each generation and new branch of our family stretching out I can see that legacy of love unfolding. It’s a legacy that is far from perfect but one that is steeped in commitment and generosity and more than a little humor. It’s the little things that add up to be the measure of a man and ultimately a family.

Grandpa’s quiet love and little acts of service laid a firm and rich soil, in which our family continues to grow. I am grateful to have been his granddaughter, and daughter of his son, and mother of his great-grandsons and blessed to take part in his legacy of faith and family and really corny jokes.

Sweet Victory for the City

One of the church planters stood at the front of the room rocking slightly back and forth as he remembered the road that brought him to a place of leadership. It was the closing service and testimony time for Evangel School and with an incredulous smile on his face he saw himself through the eyes of people who knew him before he followed Jesus and said, “Everyone would say, ‘Not him! Not him.’”

Then his smile grew grateful, “But God,” he declared.

Wichita’s first Evangel School of Urban Church Planting was full of moments like this—acknowledgements of weakness and lack of worldly qualifications but of a big God, who, as another woman attending claimed, “can use us beyond what we think of ourselves.”

So much work and prayer went into the three days these church plant teams gathered and I think each of us, whether attendees or staff, came away with another glimpse of God’s grand, redeeming vision for our cities. It renewed in my own heart just how important something like Evangel is for urban church planters, who are short on resources and support and encouragement, and yet, they still put themselves on the front lines to win back the lost. What an honor it is to serve and encourage and challenge and learn from these men and women who lead, not because they feel qualified but because God called them. And, what a blessing it is to be able to arm them with resources and training that will help them fight the battle ahead.

God did unexpected things through our first Evangel School, yet even in the unexpected, the expected happened. The Spirit was present and leading and releasing individuals and teams from strongholds. Teams had the time to dream and clarify and recommit with and to one another. Our Evangel Coaches were able to speak life and encouragement and wisdom into leaders who so often give but rarely receive. Iron sharpened iron as the church planters shared their struggles and vision. Big dreams were spoken and courses of action were charted.

While each team left in a different stage of planning and execution, they all left with a taste of what another of the church planters described as “sweet victory”—the kind of sweetness that only comes with victory in Christ and makes you want to declare “Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!” (Ps 34.8). And, really, in the center of all the best church plant strategies and philosophies and in the heart of every good church planter is the acceptance of Christ’s sweet victory and the burning passion to pass it on.

Brought Together to be Sent Out

This past weekend church planters from California, Colorado, Texas, and Kansas converged at our World Impact ministry hub in Wichita for our 2nd Annual Christ the Victor Conference. It was an honor to serve them through a weekend of training, encouragement, and vision-casting!

During the conference, I looked around the room at this relatively small gathering of diverse men and women drawn together by the Holy Spirit and a common goal, and I felt an overwhelming conviction that we haven't even begun to see what the Lord will do through this movement of churches.

They are a serious, fun-loving, brave, humble, competent, bold, and passionate group of men and women who are willing to pour themselves out as an offering in some of the most difficult communities around.

The most dangerous neighborhoods in their cities? They want them for Christ. 

Brothers and sisters in prison? They plan to shepherd them.

Individuals in bondage to addiction, brokenness, and poverty? They share their life and Christ's love with them.

During one of our sessions about the mission of the Christ the Victor Movement (CTV), a staff member shared about the grandness of God's vision for the world's redemption. He said, "He wants it all, so we want it all!" I can't think of a better summary of the heart of these leaders and the desire of our missionary staff as we work to equip and empower urban church planting!

This CTV family was brought together this weekend to be sent out again, renewed and empowered. Jesus Christ is the Victor. He is victorious over every form of darkness and bondage and barrier. Our cities need to hear this message of hope and this is precisely the message that these urban leaders speak to their churches and neighborhoods. May God's kingdom continue to advance in the city and to him be all the glory!

(World Impact staff and conference attendees)

Lives Matter

Life has been at the epicenter of current events these days—who gets to live and what the state of their life should be is bantered around on social media like an abstract topic. I have struggled with how and when to weigh in, feeling the burden of silence and responsibility of speaking out. What do you say when all day it seems like people are saying everything and nothing?

Recently a friend and inner-city pastor said something that inspired and challenged me. He said that we must continue to fight evil and stand against the devil, but we must always position ourselves to be for people.

Those words have lodged in my heart and mind and I’ve been processing how it would change the world if we truly operated from a place that was for people—how it would change our conversations if we took a stand against evil, but were for people.

This is not an easy task. I hear the counter argument rising, “But, people….” I hear that. I struggle with that too. There certainly are people carrying out evil in the world. It’s hard not to watch the Planned Parenthood exposé videos and not feel disgust towards people. It’s hard not to read about a member of Isis murdering innocent lives and not feel hatred.  It’s hard to see another African-American life lost in a confrontation with the police and not want to wield blame like a sledgehammer. But the Bible makes it clear that our battle is not to be against people, our fight is against spiritual forces of evil.

In all of Jesus’ and the apostles’ ministry it is made clear that people matter to God. Lives matter to Christ and his followers. What would it look like if we, as Christians, decided to be for people? What if we acknowledged them all as important—not by lumping them all together and blithely saying “all lives matter,” but by looking each person in the eye, listening to them, caring about them, sharing their burden, and saying you matter. Isn’t that what Jesus did? He didn’t just say “Everyone is important to me,” he looked up in a tree and called Zacchaeus by name and went to his house. When you acknowledge the worth of a person it’s hard to just walk away. It’s hard to shush them, to judge them, to hate them.

It is challenging to be for people. It gets messy and complicated and it requires a lot from us, but it’s what Jesus modeled. It will require us to provide solutions for women seeking abortions, to listen to our African-American brothers and sisters as they express grief and anger and to work for justice where there is obvious inequality. It will require that we serve and love people who live lifestyles we don’t agree with.  It will require us to stand for truth in love. Being for people means we pray against spiritual forces and pray for those who are oppressed and those who are in bondage because each of their lives matters to God.

Black lives matter. Police lives matter. Baby lives matter. Pregnant women’s lives matter. LGBT lives matter. Impoverished lives matter. Orphan lives matter. Felons’ lives matter. Muslim lives matter…. Your life matters.

Being for people means we are willing to see people where they are, call them by name and declare their specific worth. We have to be willing to go to their house and listen to their stories and carry their burdens. 

After all, it’s what Jesus did. Why would we think we should do anything different?

When God Calls Our Sons and Daughters

     Most of us are willing to sacrifice for the Lord, but asking our children to sacrifice can be a different story. When my husband and I first answered God’s call to be urban missionaries we were not even married yet. Fresh out of college the difficulties and unknowns of living in the city seemed like a challenging adventure. I vividly remember seeing my first drive-by shooting. No one was hurt, which made the experience surreal and exciting in a macabre sort of way. After years in the city the frequent gunfire heard on the block was aimed at people we know and love, or fired by people we know and love, and the sobering reality set in. Still, when it is just you and your husband that have to drop to the floor as someone shoots a shotgun in front of your house it does not seem like God is asking too much of you.

     Then we adopted our oldest son. I remember the moment when I first really acknowledged what we were asking of him as a missionary kid in the inner city. We were sitting on our front porch when a man cut through our side yard from the alley. We noticed him carrying a large handgun, its metal darkly reflecting the sun Time seemed to slow down. Carefully, I pulled my son into my lap, not wanting to make any sudden moves, as the man’s gaze was lazered in on our neighbor sitting across the street. My husband stood up and calmly spoke to the man, his words echoing the deterring motions of his hands. Suddenly the man realized he was not alone in our yard, and the noise drew our neighbor’s attention. Things flooded back into real-time motion and I took the opportunity to hurry my son inside the house. It was a tense few moments as we all waited, in our own ways, to see what would happen next. Thankfully the man turned and jogged back the way he came but it did not change the fact that we had been a moment away from a very bad situation.

     No parent wants their children in harm’s way, just ask every mama and grandmamma on our block. While many people feel trapped into life in the city, we chose to move here. I chose to put my children in an environment that is fraught with challenges. That can weigh heavily on a parent’s heart. It is more than just physical danger. My son will have to make sacrifices living in the city and the mother in me battles guilt over this. His neighborhood friendships will look much different than other children his age. At six years old he has heard the full gamut of “naughty” words and already wrestles with the things he sees from day to day. My boys will be missionary kids in the city, moving around and not having access to the same kinds of opportunities and privileges as their suburban counterparts.

     My family has been incredibly blessed by our years in the city through deep friendships and warm community. It has been a privilege to be immersed in a culture not our own and to be welcomed and loved. My boys will be shaped by cross-cultural ministry and service to the poor and neglected, which I pray will give them eyes that see God’s freeing grace and unconditional love in ways they would not otherwise experience, but it does not come without sacrifice. Following the path of the cross is exactly where I want to be, but sometimes I struggle when it means bringing my kids along.

     The question becomes then, how much is too much to ask of our children in the name of Christ? I think the specific answer is different for every family, but as parents who follow Christ we should look to the examples of parents in the Bible like Abraham, Hannah, Mary and Joseph, and even God the Father. Each had children who were placed in situations that demanded sacrifice. Each had children they offered to God’s purposes without reservation and, even in the hardest and darkest sacrifices, their children, as well as the parents, were blessed for their faithfulness.

     We have made safety and comfort and access to all the best opportunities gods of our culture, particularly when it comes to raising our children. My husband and I have certainly been questioned for our decision to live and serve in the inner city. Even now, nine months after our second son was born, I too sometimes question the life we have asked our sons to live. Yet, even in the moments of doubt, one thing has not wavered—the calling Jesus has laid on our hearts to live out the love and victory of Jesus Christ in some of the most broken and hurting neighborhoods in America. And so, I have to let go of my need to control and acknowledge that my sons are part of God’s mission for our family. He is calling them, not me.

    In spite of what our culture tells us, Jesus has not asked our family to seek comfort and safety. There will be many challenges raising boys in the city, most of which we have yet to encounter. I know there will be days when I ask the Lord if he is really calling them, even as very young men, to stand in the gap for the lost. Regardless of where our family’s journey following Christ leads, I pray that I will be faithful to lead my children in a life that takes up the cross for Jesus’ name, because, with God, it was a boy who stood against Goliath and a young girl who gave birth to the Messiah. When we answer God’s call on our lives and bring our children with us, God can and will use our sons and daughters to advance his Kingdom.

4th in the City

Since moving to the city almost 10 years ago (14 years for Andrew), the 4th of July has become one of our favorite holidays. It's not the fireworks or the barbeque or the patriotism that makes it special for our family, although, those are all nice things. Celebrating the 4th in the city, with all its excitement and community, has come to represent so much of what we love about our urban neighborhoods.

It is one of the best days of the year to get to know people because everyone's family and friends mingle with everyone else's family and friends as the excitement spills from the front yards to the streets. The smell of barbeque intertwines with the smoke from firecrackers, a tantalizing hint of things to come as a parade of bouncing red, white, and blue beads on the end of little girls' braids begin the percussion of the night.

Sharing sparklers and small talk with neighbors and exchanging names and barbeque makes the night fun as well as an important ministry experience. As night falls, the boom and crackle of fireworks fill the air and continue on until long after you want to be asleep.  However, as we try to drift off to sleep, well after midnight, we will embrace the pops and flashes through our bedroom window for the inroads to new relationships and Kingdom opportunities.

Sometimes difficult things also happen that remind us why the Lord is working to free and heal lives in the city. Excitement can turn volatile as parties go late into the night, but even in these moments there are opportunities to be part of our neighbors' lives in deeper ways.

It is these things that make the 4th of July one of our favorite holidays. And now, Andrew and I love that we can celebrate these things as a family as we introduce our sons to the experience. I don't think I've missed a 4th in the city since moving to North St. Louis so many years ago and I hope that never changes.

Selma and Samwise: The Importance of Telling Each Other the Truth

Recently we were finally able to watch the movie Selma. We've been waiting and waiting for it to be available on Amazon (since we have a baby, which means, we are basically socially and culturally reclusive).

Although I might not place it in the "great" category, it was well worth the wait and as with most movies addressing deep and thought provoking topics, it put me in a contemplative mood. One thing I kept contemplating throughout the movie, oddly enough, was how much it reminded me of Frodo and Samwise from The Lord of the Rings.

This didn't happen to anyone else? No? OK, well, let me explain.

One of the beautiful things about the movie Selma was how it brought into focus the many strong and faithful people who stood with Dr. King. These men and women, his closest friends and co-laborers, walked with him in the face of impossible things and spoke truth to him in the darkest hours. Dr. King had incredible personal resolve and vision, but this movie peeled back the outer layer and showed him being lifted up by faithful brothers and sisters around him speaking the truth of Scripture and character when situations were most bleak, encouraging him to keep moving forward, even if only inch by inch. It was in this that I saw the characters of Frodo and Samwise on their impossible journey. Frodo was chosen as the ring bearer, but he never would have completed his mission if it had not been for the faithful, encouraging, and truth-speaking Samwise.

Selma made me remember all over again how important it is to tell each other the truth. The world can be dark and discouraging. The devil makes use of the seclusion of our thoughts to bring doubt and defeat to our hearts and minds, but the Lord has given us the Body of Christ to combat this. There is power when we speak truth to each other. Somehow the hope seems real when Samwise tells an exhausted and defeated Frodo that things aren't really so bad. Even when you're walking into an onslaught, when you are walking shoulder to shoulder with someone fear seems smaller and hope greater.

While watching Selma I was in awe of the strength of people, the nobility of enduring, and the courage of sacrifice made possible when people tell each other the truth and stand firm together. It made me think carefully about the voices I listen to when faced with challenges and forced me to contemplate the words that I speak to myself and to others.

Because, the journey is not over yet. There is so much to be done in the world. Be someone's Samwise. Listen to your own Samwise. It may just be the thing that God uses to beat back the darkness and reveal His victory in the world.

Medlen Family Update

God is on the move! The Lord is bringing opportunity after opportunity to our ministry team to partner with passionate urban leaders in the Midwest region. Through The Urban Ministry Institute, SIAFU, Christ the Victor Church planting and other initiatives we are expanding our reach into new cities.

Our family has recently been presented with the opportunity to work more intensively with our new World Impact location in Topeka, Kansas (Andrew's going back to his roots!). Over the next six to twelve months we are being deployed to Topeka, and several other cities with potential for ministry expansion.

Since this deployment will not be long-term and with Topeka only being two hours away, Wichita will remain our home base but we will be living in Topeka part time in the coming months. This is a new experience for us and even though trying to figure out all the details is a little overwhelming, we are very excited to set out on this adventure in expanding God's Kingdom.

Once we are able to secure temporary housing in Topeka we will be able to begin our deployment in earnest. Part of our assignment will be to assist our new World Impact location in setting up the administrative systems needed to be well supported and resourced. They already have an amazing network there and God is doing wonderful things through the leaders in their community. We will be assisting in strategic projects and events as well. 

This is going to be a great opportunity to learn from everything the Lord has been building through leaders in Topeka and lend a hand of assistance where it is needed. These lessons and strategies will be important for future deployments and work that we will also be doing in Kansas City in the coming months.

In addition to continuing SIAFU and prison work, we are excited to be partnering with two men in Topeka who want to plant CTV churches! We will be coming along side them and helping to equip them and support them as they begin their endeavors. 

We will also be continuing some of our roles here in Wichita, so the next few months will be an experiment in figuring out all the details of living and working in two places!!

We ask for your prayers for our family as we launch into this new assignment. There are still a lot of details to work out, particularly housing. Pray that the Lord would give us wisdom in ministry and with our family. Pray with us that our time in Topeka (and beyond) is fruitful and that God would use us to serve and bless these leaders. We pray that the Lord would continue to advance His kingdom in our region and we are humbled and blessed to be a small part of it.

Topeka, Kansas