Written Not With Ink

A New Blog

2012-02-08T00:37:00.002-06:00

I know, I know. I'm not the avid blogger that I imagine myself to be. I always have the best of intentions to be a "real" writer and blog every day...but life and laziness and a million other things get in my way. So, what should a person who is scarcely an adequate blogger do but start TWO blogs!

I love having an outlet for family and ministry updates, but I've also been looking for a way to blog through a more focused lense, something more my own. My new blog The INTJ Life: One Woman's View of the World is a response to a blog I posted on "Written Not With Ink" last year called I'm an INTJ Woman and a Freak of Nature. I got several responses from INTJ women who also felt just a little off center from the rest of the world and then I noticed that I got three times the views of that post than any other. I knew I was on to something. There may not be many of us (INTJ women that is) in the world but we sure want to know that we're not the only ones!
So, I'm going to attempt to lead a double blogging life...we'll see how it goes!

A Modern Day Plague

2012-01-12T21:50:00.000-06:00

I'm convinced that incompetence is a plague for the modern day.

If we were in the book of Exodus, somewhere between the plagues of frogs and lice, it would read, "And then incompetence swept over the land. When you couldn't find an item in Walmart, absolutely no one could point you in the right direction. When you ate at a restraunt your server would inexplicably vanish, leaving you with empty drinks and no E.T.A. on your missing food. When you tried to navigate the incredibly confusing foster care system, everyone would give you different answers to the same question...that is, if they bothered to call and tell you at all! And there was gnashing of teeth and tearing of clothes because everyone was frustrated all the time." Or, something like that.

Lately our journey with said foster care system has included some gnashing of teeth...although we have spared society and left our clothes untorn. Sometimes I just reach my limit and want to yell in the halls of the court or in the isles of Walmart, "Does anyone give a crap anymore???!!" I mean, I used to believe people who had jobs knew what they were doing. Silly me.

Not to be melodramatic, because bad service at a restaurant is annoying but, hey, its not like I'm on the verge of starving. But, in situations where lives hang in the balance it would be nice to know people knew what they were doing.

Today was supposed to be a big day for our family. Instead it was frustrating and left us feeling a little shell-shocked. I am grateful our little guy is yet too young to fully feel the emotional roller coaster like Andrew and I do. I would never wish to change our journey, because it has brought us Little Man, but it has tested our faith and our character every step of the way.

In the face of such grand incompetence I have been forced to acknowledge two things: I need more grace and more faith. I need more grace/love/patience for people around me and I need more faith/trust that the Lord is bigger than any system and He is ALWAYS competent. When I feel like running through the streets screaming, there is comfort in the knowledge that His timing is always perfect and He will never let me or Little Man down.

I'm so grateful that I don't have to go on this journey alone, because, I might go crazy (or crazier, I guess). Love you, Andrew, and Happy Anniversary. It wasn't the day we had hoped for, but it was a day that proved God brought us together for a reason and He's not finished with us yet!

What a Savior

2011-12-24T09:58:00.000-06:00

I don't always like the songs they play on our local Christian radio station, I mean, I may be a Mom now, but I'm not diggin' the "Mom music." But every time I think maybe I'll listen to some other station Little Man starts singing along to the current song..."We were made to be courageous...(Casting Crowns)," "O Happy Day, Happy Day, When Jesus washed my sin away...(Fee)," and it makes it all worth it.

The other night Little Man and I were headed to a Christmas event and Laura Story's "What a Savior" came on the radio. He started singing along, "Jesus You are stronger/More than any other/Hallelujah what a savior." I thought, there couldn't be a sweeter sound than my little three-year-old singing off key "hallelujah, what a savior."

A sense of awe washed over me as I listened to the words, "What a savior." This year I have to admit I haven't spent a lot of time dwelling on the advent season. I haven't anticipated the coming of Christ with as much focus...life has just gotten in the way. But just because I was too distracted to reflect deeply, doesn't take away the profound meaning of Advent and Christmas.

Sometimes I'm too familiar with the story of a baby in a manger to be shocked by the reality of what God did! A king, born into poverty. A king, giving up his throne to be a helpless infant. To think that even if he was born into the richest home, surrounded by gold and jewels and swaddled in the finest cloth it would be nothing like the glory of heaven. And he chose to humble himself even further. What a Savior.

There's a verse in one of my favorite Christmas songs by Downhere, "How Many Kings" that says, "A child in a manger?/Lowly and small, the weakest of all/Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mother's shawl -/Just a child -/Is this who we've waited for?"

The one we have waited for...Jesus. Not a king by earthly standards, but God, in humble flesh, who came to live and die for us and who will one day return in His full glory for those who believe in Him!

Certainly a cause to celebrate this Advent/Christmas season. Take a moment in all the holiday rush to dwell on the miracle of Christ and let your heart say, "What a Savior!"

The Red or the Blue Pill

2011-10-24T14:10:00.000-05:00

Some days I feel like I'm in the Matrix, not that I have any illusions that I'd look good in all black leather garb, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the shocking and painful reality that the world is steeped in sin (both my own and others') that I wonder how it is even possible go on. On days like these I wish someone was offering me the blue pill. I want to gulp it down and return to bed, where I would wake with no knowledge of such painful truths. It would be the easy way.

But, it is not the better way. I think truth is the better way, no matter how painful. Sometimes it is painful because you realize it is your own sin that is jacking up the world around you. Other times it is the sin of others that is wreaking havoc in our lives and we are powerless to control it. Either one puts us at a fork in the road. Do I take the blue pill and ignore my sin? Do I hope that this drug of complacency can numb me to the pain I feel from others? Or, do I carefully reach for the red pill and face what God might be trying to reveal to me? Do I decide to grow in truth whether or not others make that choice?

Clearly, the right answer is the latter choice, but it is by far the most costly. Death of self is necessary. Humility and determination are the only weapons we are allowed.

Yet, sometimes I am tempted to feel that it is hopeless. But the Lord reminds me that He is a God of restoration. He can see inside my dark heart and inside the darkness of others' and He knows how to make it right, even if I do not. And, ultimately, if I give myself to Christ, the joys and the suffering both will lead to being more like Him and being able to accomplish more of His purposes...and that is what the journey is all about.

I Would Like to Take a Moment to Apologize to My Mother

2011-10-01T20:53:00.000-05:00

Humiliation. A screaming child, head thrown back, tears streaking down his face. People from every dining table looking at us. I saw no faces as I walked (trying not to run in shame), just a blur of disapproval as I escorted (by escorted I mean grabbed and carried) my child through the restaurant, from the very back of the restaurant mind you, outside to a nice secluded place behind our van where I could administer proper parental attention to such a situation.

Now any who are concerned at this point in the story, fear not. No corporal punishment was used, but there surely was corporal punishment going on in my mind. We had a little "Come-to-Jesus" conversation, in which I expressed my extreme disapproval for his family shaming behavior.

Apparently, our heart-to-heart in the parking lot made an impression. "Mama, you mad?" He asked. Um, yes. How ever did you pick up on that?

After a bathroom pit stop we headed back. "Well that was humiliating," I said. "Yep" he quips. Awesome. You have no idea, child.

But, we went back to the table and he ate that freakin broccoli. "Mama angry," he told Andrew. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

I couldn't really look anyone in the eye after that and felt much better when were able to leave the restaurant and put the whole shameful memory in the past. However, even now I am feeling some residual second-hand embarrassment.

So, I just want to say sorry, Mom!! It's my payback time.

In Need of a Sabbath

2011-09-27T21:08:00.003-05:00

Recently God has been speaking to me about renewal. For a mountain of reasons, which I'm sure many of you could relate to, I have found myself in a desert season. I've been burned out on ministry and bitter towards people and ultimately wanting to check out for reasons of self preservation.

At a recent retreat with other World Impact missionaries we talked about "Catching the Wave" of what God is doing in ministry: how to do it, what to do when you "wipe out," etc. I shared with some of the missionaries that I felt like I'd already wiped out, gotten churned up in the wave, ate dirt, and am now laying on the beach, a frazzled mess, and not quite sure what to do next. The crisis is over, but I'm feeling dazed and confused and unmotivated to jump back in. Perhaps you can relate.

I thought if I stepped back and took a little time to recover my energy and equilibrium would return, but instead I've gotten a little more indifferent and definitely more confused. However, God has started to speak to me through my clouded state...as He often does in His grace.

I've told myself I'm just lazy when I don't apply myself in the Christian disciplines, or said that I just don't care about things anymore...but I think I've been naming things inappropriately, which hasn't allowed me to deal with the root issues. It hasn't been laziness keeping me from pursuing God, so much as it has been me pulling back because I've been hurt and confused and maybe to some extent I've been blaming God. And, I certainly care about God's Kingdom and serving in the city, but I've forgotten what I'm passionate about in the midst of trying to do everything and meet every need.

As my desert season has extended beyond the time I thought I could muster up the motivation to carry on, I've realized I just can't do it. It's not in me, not without it being put there by God. I always think I have to DO to fix things, but I think God is telling me to stop doing (that's what got me here in the first place) and listen and wait expectantly for the Lord to rain on my dry soul. Hosea 6:3 puts it like this: "Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; his going out is as sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.”

A sermon I listened to recently put all the things God had been speaking to me in perspective. What I lack in my life is Sabbath. Sure, I take days off but then I usually try to distract myself from my stress and struggles by plopping in front of the TV, or surfing the internet, or eating, or...the list goes on. But that is not the kind of sabbath God commanded us to observe. In fact, I rarely ever think about it as a command. It's not just that I spend more hours of my Sundays trying to "switch off" than seek the Lord, but that I don't have a life set to a rhythm of God's renewal. I don't have a life fueled by sabbath and yet expect to find rest. I try to do more, which results in listening less.

We live in a culture that drives us at a frantic pace, it tells us we can do it all. But, deep down we know life isn't supposed to be like that, it just usually takes a wipe out with a mouth full of dirt for us to stop and acknowledge it.

So, here I am. My soul is dry. But I am expectant. The Lord will come to me as the the spring rains that water the earth. There will be renewal. But I must press on to know the Lord, and structure my life with a rhythm of sabbath.

Perhaps you too, need more sabbath in your life? From one dry soul seeking God's renewal to another let me suggest hitting the pause button on life, finding a quiet place and engaging with God. A good place to start might be with a few songs that have spoken to me lately, and Darrin Patrick's sermon "Jesus & Sabbath":

House of God Forever

Not What My Hands Have Done

Jesus &Sabbath

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restore my soul.

Psalm 23:1-2

Rock Opera in Heaven

2011-09-14T17:24:00.001-05:00

I'm not normally much of a concert person. As an INTJ I usually see concerts like this: You want me to pay what to stand next to a bunch of crazy people all up in my personal space and to hear songs I can listen to for much cheaper (and with more personal space) on a CD? No thanks. But, occasionally I break my concert rule when there is an artist whose music has been very meaningful to me...Jeremy Camp, Addison Road, David Crowder. I can't really think of many others I've paid money to see in the last 10 years.

Recently, because of an unfortunate situation for some of our close friends, we inherited their tickets to the David Crowder Band concert. I love their music and was looking forward to it, but probably not in the way the original purchasers of the tickets were. We headed to the concert, anticipating a fun evening out. The evening did include an awkward and uncomfortably close conversation with an odd lady sitting next to me. How do you really make those conversations end when the person is sitting almost in your lap? However, this was not the band's fault so I won't hold it against them.

David Crowder was just as good as I remembered. Something I love about their music (both in concert and otherwise) is that it exudes a level of joyful praise not often found in other music. When listening to DCB songs I feel like I'm interjected into a praise session that is contagious. The concert was no different.

Crowder has an unassuming air, wearing jeans, a baseball cap, and his trademark beard, he led the band in a truly amazing display of God-given musical talent. Coupling this with the lyrics on screen it made for one awesome worship service.

Halfway through the night, after beginning his song "You are my Joy", Crowder paused and told the audience, "I hope you don't mind, but we have officially entered the rock opera portion of the evening." He explained, for those of us not really in tune with the music scene, that rock opera is full of dramatic theatrics, with big crescendos and long pauses, shredding guitar solos and songs of epic length. I'm not really a "rocker" but how can you say no to that?

About five minutes later, with a crowd of people singing "You are my joy!" to guitar solos and an impressively crazed drummer I thought, "There will so be rock opera in heaven." I have no idea what the extent of heaven will be but sometimes I think we bore ourselves (and others) thinking that in heaven we will stand around singing hymns (I like hymns, but for eternity?) and then maybe take a little walk through the garden...you know, a serene heaven, if not a little blah. But, in that moment, singing that song, I felt a perfect crescendo of praise to our Father and I thought, surely this is what heaven will be like. The glory of God is not a staid pursuit I think. It will take more than any one genre, musical or otherwise, to fully express our praise to God. And it is only through God that we are given the inspiration of these avenues of praise.

Does it blow anyone else's mind that God, who is the object of our praise, is also the source of our ability to praise? No good thing that brings God glory is created apart from the breath of God. That's a humbling thought for those of us who like to "create."

I think worship in heaven will be one big, rock/rap/dance/folk/country/poetry/jazz/prose... extravaganza, maybe complete with a light show (God is the Father of Light after all). Our God is a big God, with many ways of expressing His glory...I look forward to experiencing them all in heaven and am grateful when I get little tastes of them here on earth.

Thank God for Quesadillas

2011-08-31T16:05:00.001-05:00

I don't cultivate picky eating in my house. It's one of my pet peeves, when people are picky eaters, particularly when they are the type of picky eater who enforces their pickyness upon the rest of us.

You know the type. Everyone's getting pizza? Oh, no. Well, we can only get pizza if you get a pizza with a very little sauce and extra cheese, and please ask them not to season the crust. Otherwise I don't want pizza.

Ugh. It makes me furious. Anyway, not only do I find it respectful to the chef and any group you're eating with to quietly eat food outside your comfort zone, but it is also a matter of necessity in my home. Cooking is not on my list of priorities...eating is...but not cooking. This sounds counter intuitive, but I have done just fine most of my life eating like a "bachelor" as my Dad dubbed it. Cold pasta out of the fridge? Perfect. A sandwich for dinner again? Sure. More Mac 'n' Cheese? Yum.

During my illustrious career of non-cooking I've also come to the revelation that almost ANYTHING tastes good in a tortilla (and heated in the microwave for 30-60 seconds). I would love to kiss the person who invented the quesadilla, although I'm sure the feeling wouldn't be mutual since I've bastardized their beautiful creation for my own purposes. So many options for filling a tortilla...turkey and cheese; chicken, onions, bell peppers, and cheese; squash and cheese; apples and cheese; turkey and cheese and salsa for the Mexican version (haha). You get the drift. Tortilla + cheese + almost anything else = delicious.

There are times when I feel the social pressure to be the wife, and now mother, that cooks great meals, but I just can't bring myself to invest in the art of cooking...aren't there better things to do with my time? Why spend hours investing in something everyone scarfs down in 20 min (let's be real, 10 in my house)?

The other night I made stir fry (from a frozen mix of veggies, frozen fried rice from Trader Joes, and frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts...yes that's a lot of frozen). It didn't taste particularly wonderful. Mostly because I turned the chicken breasts into rubber ( I don't know, it may have had a little to do with becoming impatient and finishing them off in the microwave).

Anyway, here we were sitting at the table, all three of us chewing and chewing and chewing on those blasted chicken breasts and I sent up a little prayer of gratitude as I saw Andrew and Little Man wearing out their jaws on dinner. It's a blessing to have non-picky eaters in your house, particularly if you are the kind of person who doesn't care much about cooking. I'm really grateful that God blessed me with a husband who eats just about anything and never makes me feel bad for sometimes making quesadillas multiple times a week (they were TOTALLY different kids, OK?)!

So, even though at times I still feel intimidated by women who are great in the kitchen, I've learned to embrace my MacGyver-like skills at just getting by in the kitchen. It often involves random ingredients present in the refrigerator, tortillas and a microwave but you sure don't see us wasting away do you? Thank God for quesadillas and non-picky boys. Life's too short to spend in front of the stove.

Hmm, I wonder what's for dinner tonight? :)

Terrible, No-good, Infection-in-Your-Ear, Pee-in-Your-Pants Day

2011-08-15T21:17:00.001-05:00

I woke up tired today. I couldn't sleep last night, and mornings with a two-year-old come much earlier than I'd like. Well, I'd prefer mornings didn't come at all but then I'd be dead, and that's no good. The morning was uneventful; however, since his schedule has been all out of whack because we've had family visiting (yay!) and because he's been sick...he cries if the wind changes direction.

We had an appointment for Little Man at the doctors for a possible ear infection at noon, which worked perfectly with getting him home by about 1 or 1:30pm for a nap...then Mama can take a nap too...lovely.

Not lovely. After getting to the doctor's office we're told the doctor had to cancel all the appointments that day and we'd have to wait hours for another doctor to see us, or make a new appointment many days out. Frustrating. They suggested urgent care. Ugh.

Driving away I made some phone calls trying to find a Walgreens Take Care Clinic since the thought of sitting at a local urgent care for 3 hours didn't appeal to me. So, I headed to south city to the nearest clinic since they said there was currently only 1 person waiting! Yay!

Not yay. We arrived and I started filling out the registration on the computer only to have a peepee crisis and have to run off to find a bathroom. By the time we got back to check in there was another person ahead of us and then we were informed that their lunch break was from 1-2pm...which started in 20 minutes. So, we could come back at 2:15pm. WHAT?

OK, this isn't going to be fun without a nap but we'll find somewhere to have some lunch and walk around. Panera was only a few minutes away so we headed to get French Onion Soup in a Bread bowl. Yum. Things are looking up until..."Mama, I have to peepee. I have to peepee..." in his pants. Are you serious?

I grabbed him and rushed to the bathroom leaving our food on the table, hoping that my bad day wouldn't be made worse by someone taking my food away!! Some wet wipes and a change of clothes later we're back at the table and our food is still there! Phew.

OK back to lunch until...my defiant child starts not listening. Several instructions and a warning later I lift him up and place him in a time out beside me where he starts wailing and holding his arm going "Oww!!" What? Do kids know instinctively to do these sorts of things in public to mortify their parents? Is that lady looking at me like I just hurt my child? "Shhh...you're fine." I pat his little head trying to look extra loving to reassure the sceptical onlooker, but the wailing continues. Time to pack up our stuff (peed clothes wrapped in paper towels and all) and rush to the van where he can sob through his time out without scrutinizing glares. Take that, kid.

Well, it's all of 1:15pm. Now what? Guess we'll go to the park across the street. Running and sliding ensues until, "Mama, I have to peepee, I have to peepee!!!!!" OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THE DEAL? He hasn't even had drank much today! I have no more spare clothes and there's no bathroom so we run for the tree line, wrestle into position....nothing. Seriously? His accident has made him overly anxious..

Well, at least it's time to head back to the clinic. We make it back in time to go to the bathroom AGAIN and wait for another 30 minutes. We get called back to see the doctor. Yes, the end is in sight! A prescription for his ear infection and several stickers later we're headed to the car where...he screams bloody murder for 10 minutes because he didn't get to put his sticker in just the right spot before we left. Sigh. What a day.

Redemption came, however, when tonight we were all in his playroom watching Little Man drive his llama around in his car. Then he yells, "No, baby. It's OK. I'm talking to Mama and Daddy!" He's always talking to and ordering around this imaginary baby so Andrew asked him, "Where is this baby?"

"In the carpet!" He shouts. Well of course.

"What does the baby look like?" I asked.

"Handsome. Baby, so handsome."

We laughed until I almost cried and Little Man chuckled, pleased with how hilarious he was.

And there you have it. A terrible day, not so terrible now.

A Different Kind of Family

2011-08-03T13:17:00.001-05:00

My skin is varying shades of light depending on the season. In the summer I crave the bronzing effect of the sun to scare away the pasty white pallor that sets in over the winter, but even when I do not heed the warning of the medical field and sit in the sun for hours, you wouldn't think I was anything but Caucasian. My soon-to-be son, however, does not have my complexion. His skin is the color of smooth coffee, distinctly different in shade from either Andrew or myself.

Before becoming a transracial family I did not think much of the fact that we would most likely be welcoming a child of color into our home. Race was not an issue for Andrew and I in adoption. I underestimated the fact that this is not always the case for others. Sure, people might be curious when they see us together but this is the 21st Century! I didn't realize that people's curiosity would often lead to prying questions and condescending assumptions.

It has been just over a month since we met our little guy and only 2 1/2 weeks since he moved in full-time and we have already encountered the world's perspective on race. Although the courts have yet to make it final, he is already our son in our hearts and we just feel like a normal family until people stare at us in public...then I more or less feel like a normal family with weird people staring at us.

The fact is that people are very blatant with their curiosity, even in this age of political correctness. Yesterday, while standing in line at the bank in our community a man asked me if our little guy was my son. Clearly he was just a little curious and making conversation, but, really? "What do you think?" I want to say as my big Mom-bag weighed down my shoulder and I'm telling him to stop running around and stand next to me every few seconds. However, I smiled and kindly answered in the affirmative.

A few weeks ago a lady approached us and asked if we had adopted. "Where is he from?," she asked. When we said he was from "here" she almost looked disappointed, expecting us to say Ethiopia or something I suppose. And, on yet another day, a couple told us "It looks like you do so well with him." Um, he's our kid, should we not do well with him? We just smiled and nodded as we walked by.

On one hand the opportunity as a family to live out God's call to be the Body of Christ with no categories or divisions is exciting. I pray that our family will be a beacon of light and love and that we can be a part of breaking down barriers in the world and in our community and, sadly, in the church as well.

But, on the other hand, it makes me feel protective of my soon-to-be son, even defensive. I know there will be a day, sooner than I think, when our son looks at me and asks, "Why isn't our skin the same color?" and one day after that, when he asks again he won't so readily accept the answer, "Because God made us that way." As he gets older, when someone indelicately asks me in public if he is my son, I dread what look I might see in his eyes. Will he be ashamed, thinking there is something wrong with him? Will he be frightened and confused, wondering if the color of his skin could ever make him not my own?

I want race to matter to my son in all of the positive ways and none of the negative. I want him to embrace his beautifully dark skin and celebrate his ethnic heritage and identify with people doing awesome things in the world that look just like him. I also want him to never think he is anything different than an expression of God's awesome creativity and to never feel alienated or of lesser value in the world and the Kingdom of God.

Life's harsh realities won't always allow this to be the case, but I pray that God gives Andrew and I grace as people point out in front of everyone (including our child) that he looks different than us and I pray that God will give our little guy a strength of purpose and security in our love but most importantly in God's love that will never allow him to be shaken.

There are beautiful things ahead for our family and my greatest hope is that we navigate the challenges in such a way that glorifies the Creator of all people, the Artist that uses so many colors to declare His vast beauty. I pray that as our family grows people won't just see how different our skin is but how alike our hearts for Jesus are. I want people to notice that our family is different, but not because we check different boxes when asked our race, but because we are a family on mission for the Lord bringing God's healing and love in a broken world.

Choose to Adopt

2011-07-27T14:02:00.001-05:00

You wouldn't believe the lack of delicacy that occurs when a young, childless couple announces their desire to adopt. "What, you can't have kids?" or "You don't want to have any of your 'own' kids?" or my fave, "So, are you just swingin' and missin'?" have been frequently asked questions as Andrew and I have pursued adoption.

First of all, it makes me sad that so many people, even unconsciously, think of adoption as a last choice option. But secondly, knowing families that have struggled with the very personal and heartbreaking journey of infertility, I want to burst into tears and sobbingly concoct a story about my barren womb just to teach them a lesson in decorum. So far, I have refrained.

Now I know what you're thinking, "So are you just swingin' and missin'?" Haha. I guess it's human nature to be curious about intimate details of other people's lives, and thus I have (very politely I might say) informed people that we have no idea and consider our decision to adopt just the beginning of our family, one that may have both birth and adoptive children in it!

The short answer to the question about our decision to adopt is, "Because God told us to." The longer answer is even still unfolding in our hearts and minds as we continue on this journey, now welcoming a little one into our home. Before beginning the adoption process we would have considered ourselves knowledgeable about adoption and might have subconsciously patted ourselves on the back that we had already talked about adopting someday in the future. Go us. But, as God has led us into this He has humbled us and taught us and opened our eyes to how much He has a heart for adoption, so much so, that He made each of us part of His sacred family via adoption. When you think about it that way, adoption is a perfectly normal expression of God's kingdom...one that doesn't come with pats on the back, but with reverent humility.

I do not think that choosing to adopt because you cannot have biological children is a bad thing. I know many families who have adopted for this reason who have developed a passion for caring for orphans and have been a godly demonstration of God's love as they grew their family. I have also seen a few families in which this is not the case, and that is sad.

How God brings a family to the decision to adopt will be unique in each situation, but God has been teaching Andrew and I that the result in everything we do, including adoption, should be more glory to God not us. There is nothing special about us, just the God we serve. I want to encourage anyone who may have thought about adoption, or maybe those of you who haven't even considered it, that God could use you to impact this world through adoption. There are 163 million orphans in the world, 150,000 of them right here in the U.S. If you consider yourself pro-life, consider being part of the solution by making one of these children your own.

There are many support groups and resources out there for adoptive families. I have found a few to be particularly helpful. I recently read a book by Helen Lee called, The Missional Mom, and while it addresses so much more than adoption, it does a great job of talking about adoption as an intentional choice to bring glory to God in our lives through missional living. Helen Lee also has a website and blog that has links to more resources here. Another great book is Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families and Churches by Russel Moore. Focus on the Family also has wonderful resources to find out more about adoption. If you are considering foster care, or adoption through the foster care system I would suggest you search for a Christian support group in your city. We received our training and continue to get support from One Heart Family Ministries here in St. Louis. It makes all the difference to walk this journey with others looking to serve the Lord with their lives and their families.

My prayer for you (and me) is that, "...whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

And while there have been and are many challenges yet ahead for us in this journey, Andrew and I have found that following the Lord's direction in our life has given us much to be thankful for...one crazy little two year old in particular.

Parenthood: Day 7

2011-07-22T20:11:00.000-05:00

We're on day seven of full-time parenthood and it all feels surprisingly normal. Packing snacks and sippy cups for outings and cleaning up accidents and spending an hour trying to get the kid's pool to properly inflate all seem like just another day. Everyone has told us, every chance they get, "This will change your life!" And it has, but then again it also hasn't. I think it helps that Andrew and I are already old, we stay in most nights and we're around kids a lot. So, aside from the lost luxury of sleeping in, not too much has changed.

First week of parenthood: lots of hugs and kisses, dance parties, head injuries as a result of the dance parties, first cold at our house, first time to catch the kid's cold and the whole family feel like crap, hearing his occasional use of Mama and Daddy, reading books, singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" over and over and over, watching Andrew get more excited about Little Man's new toys than Little Man himself, time outs, picking out the kid's ginormous boogers, good time with friends, and lots and lots of laughter.

It's been a good week...praying for so many more.

The Luckiest

2011-07-09T21:22:00.000-05:00

There's a love song by Ben Folds called "The Luckiest," which starts out sweet and then ends with something about an old man and a young girl and I don't think it's supposed to...but it kinda creeps me out.

The other day I thought to myself, "I'm the Luckiest." It had nothing to do with that song or old men, but as Andrew and I get to have our little guy around and pray for a smooth adoption process I feel blessed at how God has worked things out so far.

There have been a few responses to our decision to adopt that make it sound like it is a sacrifice for us to welcome a little one into our lives. Perhaps, but no more than any other parent must sacrifice to include a child in their family. There's already been some early mornings and time outs, diarrhea and tantrums--the usual 2 year old thing. To us, it just feels pretty normal.

We've had the same reaction from some people about our lives as missionaries. I've actually had someone come up to me at a church service and say to me, "You must be a saint to do this." I know, those of you who know me are laughing hysterically at this point. The truth is, we're just regular people living where God asked us to live and we wouldn't have it any other way. To us, it seems pretty normal too.

Honestly, the idea that it takes super-Christians to do things like adopt or do missions or fight for justice is what keeps millions of orphans parentless, so many eternally lost, and people groups in oppressive poverty.

We're not special. We just do our best to say yes, when we feel God asks us to do something. My life has not turned out anything like I would have pictured it years ago, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm not a glass-half full sort of girl, but when I listen to our little guy singing "Be Brave, Be Strong" with the other neighborhood kids in Back Yard Bible Club I think, "I'm the Luckiest."

Busied to Death

2011-07-07T21:22:00.000-05:00

Surely life isn't supposed to be like this. This thought has been bouncing around in my over-crowded mind all summer long. I find myself longing for the end of the day, week, month, counting down the days until the busy summer is over. As if that will fix the problem. Every time I get to the breaking point I think, this is just a season, but then the season starts all over again and I'm living the slow death of busyness once again.

In moments where I am tenaciously clinging to the sanity God gave me I feel convicted that this is surely not how He intended me to live. Running around frantically, half out of my mind, constantly apologizing for forgetting things and acting crazy cannot be what Jesus had in mind when He commissioned us to go out in the world with his love and peace. I think I've succumbed to a culture of achievement, a culture of "have it all, do it all, be it all." What really terrifies me is that I'm already over-extended and kids with all their energy and activities and needs are just now making an entrance into our lives. It makes me tired just thinking about it. But, I don't want to live my life feeling strung out and stressed out. We say to ourselves, just trust God, read your Bible more, find time to pray, but maybe on top of that God is asking us to quit a few things and slow down the pace of life. I painted the words "Be still and know that I am God" on my dining room wall but I rarely live it out.

I'm not sure the systemic changes that are necessary can be made in time to alter the next week of my crazy summer life, but certainly things need to change. With a child entering our lives it puts more than our sanity and emotional health on the line...it puts his on the line too. Am I going to pass on to him a feeling of frenetic activity in the name of serving the Lord or an abiding peace in knowing God and living out His calling on our lives?

I'm taking a look at my life and realizing I'm in need of a few things. I'm in need of learning to say no to things. I'm in need of finding a niche that I'm really passionate about within the ministry I love so much. I'm in need of more quiet time in the Word. I'm in need of time to invest in my marriage, my family, my friends. I'm in need of more Jesus and less activity.

I don't want to be busied to death. I can't keep asking for peace from God when I continue to make choices that shut the door on any opportunity to accept it.

The Long-Awaited Call

2011-06-29T17:38:00.001-05:00

Days in the summer blur outside of their designated space; I have trouble remembering what day it is and which week we're marking off the calendar of programs. Summers are always intense and this one has not disappointed!

Two Thursdays ago we got a life-altering call, that turned the intense level up a notch! We were chosen as a pre-adoptive home for the cutest 2 1/2-year-old boy you've ever seen (OK, I may already be a little partial). Joy. Terror. Excitement. Anticipation. Overwhelmedness (Is that a word? Maybe not but you know the feeling). These are the feelings that have ensued since that call.

We met Little Man (that's what I'll call him since we cannot share photos or personal details about him on the internet until the adoption is finalized) a week and a half ago...really, only a week and a half? It seems longer in the blur of summer. We have already had a blast building a relationship with him and cannot wait to have him move in sometime in the next few weeks!

Just like everything else about our adoption journey it continues to be a test of our trust in the Lord and a testimony of His faithfulness. Through a series of events that can only be described as providential we found ourselves on the receiving end of an excited acceptance call from our licensing worker and Little Man's foster parents. Yet, there is still a journey ahead. This case is a legal risk placement, meaning there are many variables ahead and a daunting wait until adoption finalization can happen. This is not uncommon, particularly with younger children in the foster care system, but it is a test in trusting the Lord as we step out in faith and welcome this little guy into our lives.

God has continued to speak words to me about trusting in Him, even though everything in my controlling heart wants to rebel and subsequently freak out! One night while laying in bed worrying about the process I felt relief from Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make our paths straight." The road looks long and winding right now and so much of this process makes me feel inadequate, but all I'm responsible for is clinging to God for dear life and trusting that whether or not this goes as we would hope that He will see us through any challenges ahead! But, we are praying for a smooth process and remaining hopeful!

I wish we could share his picture with you because he has, as Andrew says, a "Million Dollar Smile" and I already miss his sweet face when we do not have him with us. So many thoughts are spinning in my head right now, so that is all for now! Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We have felt so loved by everyone's excitement for us!

I'm gonna be a Mom, yikes! :)

A Hot Mess

2011-06-08T18:39:00.000-05:00

One of the guys from our basketball program has a shirt that says "I'm a Hot Mess"...Andrew told me I needed that shirt yesterday.

Does anyone else feel like the carefree days of summer are just a distant memory that may or may not have been real? I feel like summer used to feel like one endless day of fun. Even in college I had a few years when I was not in summer school and work was light and I took many trips to the beach...the good ol' days. Now summer just feels like one endless....

Summer is not a vacation in grown-up land. In fact, it has become the most stressful and hectic part of the year for me. Because there is so much ministry that happens in the summer it has become a season I anticipate with both excitement and dread.

In case the disturbingly early and frequent heat advisories hadn't clued you in yet: it's summer and I'm already a hot mess.

Aside from the fact that while your body is sweating your brain is 10x more likely to go crazy on people (totally my personal opinion but I'm sure there must be scientific evidence), I have about three people's full-time jobs to take care of and for someone who needs focus to do things well...I feel like I'm losing my mind most days. Add a healthy dose of emotional stress while we continue on our adoption journey and you've got a recipe for "Homicidal Adria"--and that is not someone any of us want to meet.

It's hard for me to claim the peace I have in Christ when the days are never ending and filled with frantic to-do lists. It's hard for me not to feel alone in my humongous work load. It's hard for me to center myself when I feel pulled in too many directions and the days just never seem to end. It's hard for me to find patience stored in the deep recesses of my heart when I'm hot and sweaty and frantically trying to stay above water.

It's hard, but it's not impossible. Or, at least the Bible tells me so. And that is what I need to cling to. There is peace despite the circumstances. "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10. I need more of that in my life. Some of the things that keep me going:

This photo is so peaceful to me. The color isn't great because it's a photo of a photo that Kelly gave me from his collection. We secretly named it "Hope for an INTJ." I love it and stand in the hall and stare at it on particularly rough days :).

That face has to make you smile.

I don't always like to admit it, but he keeps me calm and forces me to see the positive even if under duress.

OK, doing the "Human Knot" with a bunch of 12-15 year olds in a room with no AC is not the most calming activity, but I do love these kids.

Racial Reconciliation and Fried Banana Pudding

2011-06-02T22:05:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week Andrew and I went out to dinner with our friends and neighbors from across the street. We decided to go to a restaurant we had all been talking about where they serve more food on one plate than should be legal.

We got to the restaurant, sat down and started studying which glutinous sin we wanted to commit. As we talked over the merits of fried chicken vs. porkchops a man came up behind our booth and interrupted our conversation. He was one of the cleaning staff.

He leaned in and said, "What you guys are doing here is so great. You don't see that very often around here. It's really wonderful." He said this as he gestured to our neighbors and then to us.

We didn't quite know how to respond. After he left we looked at each other a little perplexed. Our neighbors are African American. We, obviously, are not. It hadn't crossed our mind that someone would see us sharing a meal together and find that different, even inspiring.

The man commenting on our friendship was also African American. There was something a little off about him but he was very sincere. As we were finishing up dinner, he came back by our table to talk some more. The theme of his comments continued to touch on how much he thought our interracial friendship was a great example of something people don't usually engage in.

At one point in the conversation our neighbor got distracted when a photo of the restaurant's Fried Banana Pudding dessert flashed up on the tv screen. He asked our interested guest if it was any good. "It's great," the man said. "In fact I'll buy it for you, if you want it. I think you guys are doing such a great thing, I'll order one for you."

And, since men don't turn down free food even if they just ate enough food for a small village, the husbands at the table said, "OK."

When we left the restaurant we laughed about the experience. But even though we didn't think there was anything unusual about our time together, I felt a deep sadness for the employee. He was so sincere about the issue that he must have experienced some significant hurt throughout the years. He obviously felt deeply the racial bigotry and tension that still often lays under the surface in our politically correct culture. It hurt me to think about that. I don't like to think that race still means so much in our world, but it does.

We did take home some delicious friend banana pudding from the restaurant, but I also took away a heavy heart. I pray that the man carried home with him a lighter heart. Even if he didn't know Christ, I hope he might have felt some of Jesus' reconciling power just by seeing a very simple and uninspiring act of friends from different racial and cultural backgrounds sharing a meal together.

I am so thankful that we serve a God who sees us all as His beautiful children and that I have the privilege to look into the face of someone much different than me and see Him.

The Chair That Helped

2011-05-29T15:54:00.000-05:00

When I'm under a lot of stress or emotional strain the only thing I want to do is sit in front of the TV and anesthetize my brain. My brain rarely shuts off and sometimes I just want a break, so I find my favorite spot on the couch and tune out.

However, I have found that this is exactly the opposite of what I need to pull myself out of a funk. If I engage my brain in a creative activity I seem to find my equilibrium. When I actually get up off the couch and write, or do a project...alone (my introverted self needs some time alone :)...I find myself able to recharge.

This week, I spent time on this chair. I found it at the new Goodwill Outlet for $4....I saw potential in it.

Unfortunately I couldn't clean the fabric well enough to keep the plaid, but with some vintage fabric I found up in the donations at the center awhile ago, some left over spray paint from a previous project, and a cheap staple gun I bought at Hobby Lobby with a 40% off coupin (love that store!) it turned out pretty nice!

Most importantly it gave me a creative outlet as I processed the week. And for about $8 that's a pretty good trade off!

When God Answers Prayers

2011-05-26T21:53:00.001-05:00

The last few weeks have been dominated by prayer, by hopes and imaginings, by trying not to hope, by a cycle of peace and anxiety that has taken us round and round.

Monday morning we had an interview for the possible adoption of a little boy. By Monday evening we found out one of the other four families was chosen. It was an emotionally intense day. Days later we are still processing it all.

For just over a month we had been waiting and praying about the outcome, having been caught off guard by the opportunity to submit our homestudy for a 10-month-old boy. From the moment we received the call about this case God used it to stretch us and challenge our expectations, but it also birthed the thoughts of a possible reality--one that brought the desired conclusion to our adoption process and a child into our home.

Even as our hearts were being secretly attached to this child we knew only on paper, we put up guards against possible disappointment and pain. We tried not to think too much about it. We asked close family and friends to pray and then attempted to dispassionately wait and pray. The irony is that you cannot pray for something so intensely and remain dispassionate, even when your prayer is "Thy will be done."

Anxiety would creep in. We battled it back with the knowledge of God's sovereignty. Then anxiety would creep back in. But, for me, the miracle was that the more we prayed for the situation and the more our hearts got attached to the idea of a future with this little boy, the deeper the sense of peace we felt that God would carry us through, whatever the outcome.

By Monday morning Andrew and I and the whole process had been bathed in continual prayer from family and friends all over the country. The prayer was for God's will to be done and for our peace through promises like the one found in Isaiah 26:3: "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You." We are so grateful for our Christian family--they have wrestled for our peace. Their toil has been our gain.

Receiving the call that we were not the family chosen was hard. A child we were invested in is to be a permanent part of a stranger's family. And maybe even more disappointing is the knowledge that we have not found the child intended for us and that we will have to face this situation again, and maybe again.

But, something I realized through this process is that I used to think that praying for God's will to be done meant I shouldn't invest in one side of the issue or the other. Somehow I thought maybe to really mean that prayer I had to feel ambivalent. But what really was going on was that I wanted to protect myself from feeling the disappointment that would come if the result wasn't what I had hoped for. Or maybe I thought God would think I was taking back my prayer when I was grieved by the outcome.

However, when God answers our prayers for His will to be done with the answer our human hearts had not hoped for, He does not disapprove of our disappointment or heartache. He does not ask for an impartial trust. What He asks for is a trust that even if..., we will trust Him to carry us through the sorrow, through the confusion, and through the uncertain road before us. This peace runs deeper than the anxiety or sorrow we are sure to experience. It is resting in the knowledge of a good God whose timing is perfect and who holds the world and our hearts in His capable hands. It is knowing that He will answer saints' prayers for His will to be done and that He is near enough to comfort us in the wake of His hand.

God has given Andrew and I peace. We are still processing our disappointments, but we are certain that God is faithful and that He will continue to provide for us in ways we could not ask for or imagine. Thank you for those of you who have prayed for our peace...God does answer prayer.

The Nature of Church

2011-05-20T11:49:00.002-05:00

I've come to believe that the true nature of Church, and by Church I mean THE Church, the Body of Christ, is transformational. We cannot engage the Body of Christ as we were meant to and stay the same. God has taken people of all cultures and races and experiences and fused us into one body that is purposed towards one vision--the glory and expansion of the Kingdom of God.

The problem is that most of us don't approach church this way. We approach it looking to find a community of believers that affirms exactly who we are and gives us exactly what we think we need...is the style of worship just right? are people generally like me? do they have the best program for my kids? are they hip and "cutting-edge"? The list goes on and on with the expectations we bring to church, and the result is that we have made Church (big C) into church (small c). And church (small c) is, by nature, a business that caters to the endless stream of Christian desires for self-affirmation and we've lost our vision in the smallness of what we've become.

One thing I've learned in the last five years working at World Impact is that the Body of Christ is made up of a lot of people I wouldn't normally attach myself too if left to my own selfish desires. And, that American individualism and the "right to choose" has given us countless opportunities to run away from having to deal with the fact that the world doesn't revolve around us! Church (big C) was never intended to let you be who you are, it was meant to let you be who you were intended to be...and that takes some hard work done in the context of community.

Andrew and I were just talking with a friend recently about styles of worship in church and how fixated we are as the American church on the style of a services. We want a pastor who will soon be writing books and having YouTube clips bouncing around Facebook and we want worship that gives us goosebumps. We want small groups that "get us" and outreach that looks really "missional" with the least amount of daily investment. It's gotten to the point that we choose churches that make us feel good instead of churches that make us a more functional part of the Body of Christ.

If you go to a Christ-centered church and can't worship the Lord because of the style of service, that's not a style problem, that's a You problem. If you think the nature of Church is to be conflict free and easy, then you will spend your whole life running away and never engage in the mission God has for us...and isn't that exactly what Satan is looking for?

Try picking a small group full of people you would never usually hang out with and commit to working through the conflicts that may ensue. Pray that God teaches you to sense the Holy Spirit in more that really moving music. Try changing yourself as you commit to a body of believers rather than expecting they change for you.

I heard a pastor talk recently about our tendency to approach the ways of God by checking them against our own reason and logic. We tend to choose the aspects of God that fit in with our world view and reject or ignore the others. But the Scriptures say that God's thoughts and ways are as high above ours as the sky is above the earth. I think we've done this with church. We have taken God's purpose for the Church (big C) and made it into church (small c) because it feels better in the moment. We've limited God by our selfishness and stymied the expansion of His Kingdom in our own lives and our communities.

If the nature of Church is about bringing the transformational power of Christ to our lives and our communities, that means we shouldn't try to squeeze it into our own personal world-view. We should approach it with reverence, knowing there may be things about the Church that we don't understand or that in our limited understanding we wish were different. That's OK. Embrace it. It's a process but the more I am working on this the deeper my understanding of community has become, the more I am able to see Christ in even the most unlikely places.

I want to think big. I want to accept the fact that God knows everything we don't and that we will have to change our thoughts and ways in order to go on mission with Him. Let's not make church about me or about you, we're much too small a vision. Let's make church about God and commit to seeing ourselves and the world changed by Him. Now, that's a mission I can get excited about!

They Made It, Thank the Lord!!

2011-05-15T13:53:00.000-05:00

It was a day we all were not quite sure would come. Life throws our youth a lot of curve balls and a graduation celebrates more than just the work of the graduate! It takes a dedicated teen, teachers, parents, and a whole team of supportive people to see this day come to fruition. Andrew and I were so proud to attend the local graduation where we went to see Laniecha and her cousin Renelle graduate. Laniecha's mother smiled at me and said, "This is my degree right here!!"

We were pleased to see that at least three of the young men who attend our basketball program were also graduating!!

Between Andrew and I we've known the girls and their families for seven or eight years. Both are beautiful girls with lots of dreams and two sweet little sons. We pray that God will continue to keep them and that they will seek to follow the Lord with the rest of their lives. They made it to graduation, but there is so much more life for them to accomplish and that too will take a community of godly support.

God Stretches

2011-05-10T17:21:00.000-05:00

You couldn't call me extraordinarily flexible by any definition of the word. I don't know if I could even do the splits when I wasn't old and out of shape and, if we're talking personality, I make schedules in order to follow them, not just for my health (as some people who disregard them must imagine). Andrew has schedule flexibility, but I watched him trying to touch his toes while doing Tae Kwon Do stretches in a workshop with the kids this past summer (um, it didn't happen).

So, I suppose it's only natural that God would look down and say, "Those two aren't particularly limber, let Me see what I can do about that." And, thus enters the last year of our lives. God has put us through His own set of stretches as He has exercised us in ministry, marriage, family, and relationships these last 12+ months.

We truly want to follow the Lord and so we voluntarily sign up for God's workout class, sit down to stretch, feel the uncomfortableness in our muscles and hesitate. "Feel that? See, we're really workin' it here, God!"

He walks over and gently presses down on our back to make the stretch a little deeper. "Whoa! That's far enough, God! That's a little more uncomfortable than I had expected!" We start to get that little panicky feeling like our hamstrings(/hearts) are surely going to snap any second, but to our surprise they don't, and after the initial panic subside it starts to feel more comfortable.

But it doesn't stop there. If you're really serious about getting in shape, the next time you stretch you will take a deep breath and stretch further than the last time. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "Wow, that was a good deep stretch for me, God. Glad I'm done with that." But, God doesn't ask us to put a limit on how far we will stretch outside of our comfort zones for Him. He keeps pressing and it's up to us to commit to His requests or drop out of the class.

I've been thinking a lot about this recently and how the process of being stretched by God at first makes you feel your limitations. It hurts, it feels impossible, and it makes you aware of how tiny and insignificant you really are. But then as you give things over to the Lord and watch Him sustain and accomplish His work in your life it is incredibly empowering and liberating. I know in my own power I can't do anything, but in God's power there is no limit to what He may accomplish through me.

I don't ever want to stay content with how far God has stretched me. I want to (even when I don't want to)let God lead me further outside my comfort zone each day and give up my plans for my life and submit to His. Each time God stretches me I pray that I take a deep breath and then ask God to stretch me again. With each day that I am striving to do this I am, surprisingly, finding more and more peace as I face the uncertainties of life with a God who is able to do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine.

But, even though God is teaching me to be a more flexible person, don't ask me (or Andrew) to do the splits, it's just not gonna happen here on earth.

May Update

2011-05-05T12:17:00.001-05:00

Dear Team,

Recently we had a fight in our high school basketball program. Since starting the program, there had only been one other fight. People generally really respect World Impact and care about participating in our programs.

The fight occurred over a heated moment in the game and words and fists were exchanged. Our staff broke up the fight and then we closed the gym down. We closed the gym to let people know that we do not tolerate fighting and to help the students keep each other accountable, since the decision of a few affected everyone there to play that night.

Watching it happen was disappointing but the day after the fight occurred, Martin, one of the guys involved, came up to World Impact wanting to speak with Randy and I (Andrew). He sat down and began to tell us that he knows what good we are doing for the guys and that he was truly sorry. He also said that he would understand if we did not want him around anymore because of his actions.

In our community it is rare to hear someone say they are sorry. In an environment where your reputation is all that you have and respect is worth more than any amount of money, saying I am sorry is not a popular thing. Impressed by Martin’s maturity, we made sure he knew how much we appreciated his heart-felt apology. We then got to share with him about how God forgives each of us time and time again and that we forgive him too. We also shared that the opposite of not wanting him around was true—we love having him participate in our programs!

I am always blown away at how God can take a bad situation and totally turn it into a way to share His grace and love. Martin did something that was wrong, but he also took the first step to make it right. Martin is a leader, I just do not think he sees it yet.

It is our desire to see the Martin’s of this community be leaders in our local Churches. Praise God for giving us millions of second chances and for continually restoring us! Please pray for Martin and others like him to continue their growth in Christ. We are seeing guys in our Bible Study who have a deep hunger for the Word. Sometimes during Bible Study we just sit around and talk over their questions about who God is and how that should affect our lives—and it is not always our staff answering each other’s question! God is at work in this great city and it is such a joy and honor to witness it on a daily basis!

Let’s take this city for God!

Andrew and Adria Medlen

Living On A Prayer

2011-05-04T18:51:00.002-05:00

So, no, this post is not about Bon Jovi, although that may disappoint some of you (ahem, Andrew). I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately and spending more time engaged in it. I used to pray about lots of things, but I think I'm just starting to really believe in its power. Don't get me wrong, I've always believed that God was mighty enough to do anything He wanted, I just was a little bit skeptical about being able to be part of the process.

One of the things our staff has been doing more regularly than we have before is prayer walking in our neighborhood. At first this is an awkward assignment. Who knew you could pray with your eyes open and interrupt serious prayers with, "Hey, don't step in that dog poop." But, it has been an amazing experience for me. The more I let go and pray out loud the more I feel the Lord gives me to pray about, the more burdened my heart becomes for my community. Sometimes I don't even know which person I'm praying for to be released from the bondage of addiction but I get choked up in an earnestness for their freedom. And, even though you wouldn't think this would be true, you meet a lot of people while walking and praying.

I think it has also made me more aware of the Holy Spirit. The more we have asked the Holy Spirit to give us favor with our neighbors and lead us to places and people of spiritual openness, the more we are directed to them. I am believing in my part of the prayer process and it is beginning to take root in my life. Sometimes driving around town I spot people in their cars or walking on the sidewalk and I find myself praying that the Lord will meet them in some way and change their lives and I believe that He can. And, I find myself saying things like, "Let's pray that God shows us which community is spiritually open to begin our church planting efforts" and I believe that He will!

I have also found prayer to be more of a necessity in my life than it used to be. Andrew and I have felt God's strong call this last year to give over more of our lives and walk further in faith and, let's be real, the only way I can make it through the day is clinging to a very needed conversation with the Ruler and Controller of all things.

I am no Mother Theresa, that's for sure, but I want to encourage you to do things that take you outside of your comfort zone to experience God through prayer--not because I am awesome and have the right to challenge you in this area but because it is an exciting part of being a follower of Christ and I want to share that with you! You can prayer walk in your neighborhood. Take an evening stroll and just start praying...the Holy Spirit will direct the rest. Or take a step of faith today that you know you'll only be able to do if you verbally affirm through constant prayer that God is real and will carry you through.

I heard a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. several years ago that has always stuck with me. He said, "To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing." As followers of Christ our life-breath should be a dialog with the Creator of the Universe. What a privilege. It's uncomfortable at first perhaps, maybe even scary, but the joy and action of the Christian life is to truly be, as Bon Jovi sings it, living on a prayer.

Let's stop living as the walking dead and breathe the life-giving power of prayer into our lives and our communities and see what God will accomplish for His Kingdom.

Doing What I Value

2011-05-02T15:10:00.002-05:00

Since the beginning of the year I have been on a mission to do what I value and not what I don't. It sounds simple, but it's not--especially not for someone who is a stubborn, perfectionistic first-born, who wants to be good at everything. I came frighteningly close to burnout this last year and while I was teatering on the edge of losing it forever I realized it didn't have to be this way.

Life is stressful and hard and uncertain and full of many sorrows, but that was not primarily what was dragging me into the abyss of ministry burnout. It was my desire to be everything in all situations, to be the best of the best, to shoulder my load and everyone else's, to be the "team player" that picked up everyone's slack and made things successful! Placing these expectations on myself not only packed some very unwanted stress-pounds onto my gut, but made me feel overwhelmed and resentful.

Thankfully the Lord brought me some clarity before I packed my bags and ran off to Mexico, and since then I have been working on asking for help when I need it and not claiming other's responsibilities as my own. I have also decided that I should do what I value and let the rest go. This is not to say that I don't still do plenty that I don't want to do, but I try to be realistic about what I can actually fit on my plate. I try to pick out the most important parts of projects and focus on those being great and let the rest of the chips fall where they may. As much as I'd like to believe it's true, I'm not Superwoman after all.

This is true in ministry as well as in my personal life. For example, as I shared in my last blog, I am not a woman who finds much personal value in things many other women do. I am not saying that cooking a five course meal (or a meal that at least isn't microwavable and/or previously frozen) isn't valued--I sure do love visiting those ladies' houses--but it's just not me. My house shouldn't look like it does right now (I like to refer to it as The Pit), but I would rather spend time working on the vision of our church planting tactics than make sure my house is spotless. I also love to save money and find awesome deals, but I cannot seem to take the time necessary to become a great couponer--I am determined to do better, but then again, time is money and I'm not so sure I wouldn't rather spend my time somewhere else (I'll let you know how that one turns out).

While there is much freedom in this line of thinking it can be difficult to let go of my own expectations or the expectations I feel people have for a good, Christian woman/wife/(hopefully)soon-to-be-adoptive-mother. I still feel the pressure to host people with freshly baked bread and the cleanest house, or to not be so opinionated at work and at home, or to start thinking less about my call to minister to the city as we prepare for kids. But, I just won't do it. It's just not who I am. Hey, I planted a garden this year (even though it was mocked mercilessly for it's tiny size by Andrew's Kansan relatives), that ought to count for something if we're talking Proverbs 31 women, right?!

Living what I value is something that requires constant attention to what I value and why. I need to know that what I'm valuing is godly and logical. But then I just need to focus on what is important for me and say about the rest: "It is what it is." It's a work in progress.

So, let's be real, when I host I'm the Hostess with the Mostess: The most dustballs hidden under my couch, the most frozen entrees in my freezer, the most notebooks stacked around the house with ideas about our ministry programs and future, and the most grandiose plans about how I will weave together my life as missionary, wife, and mother so that I can be a part of changing the world...and in my heart of hearts, I'm OK with that.

I'm an INTJ Woman and a Freak of Nature

2011-04-29T12:41:00.003-05:00

I'm an INTJ and I'm a woman and that makes me kind of a freak of nature.

I discovered this in the past few years as I have learned about Myers Briggs, a personality indicator based on Carl Jung's theory that asserts that we all have innate preferences that direct how we see the world and how we operate in it. When broken down, you get 16 different personality types and I am an INTJ: Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging. In other words, I am introverted, I focus on the big picture and exciting connections between ideas, I prefer to make decisions based off of objective logic and focus on systems and theories, and I like closure and structure. INTJs are known to challenge the status quo and also get the reputation of being just a little arrogant and callused when it comes to feelings because we tend to think we're always right and hold our emotions close to our vest. And, well, we have been described as "masterminds," I'm just sayin. (For more information about Myers Briggs check out the Myers Briggs Foundation.)

In the process of becoming certified in Myers Briggs I not only discovered that you can explain every oddity about me (well, almost every one) through the lens of my personality but also that as an INTJ I am part of only about 1-3% of the population and as a female INTJ I am probably represented in less than 1% of the population of the WORLD. So, just when I was starting to feel more normal I realized I really am a freak of nature!

I wouldn't have necessarily let you know it but before I knew anything about Myers Briggs and my personality type I thought there must be something wrong with me. I've been "different" since I was very young, just ask my parents. But as I grew older I began to realize that not only was I just different in general, but I was also very different from most other girls. At the risk of stereotyping all women, I didn't cry at sappy romance scenes in movies, I didn't "awww" over small puppies and babies, I hated baby showers, wedding showers, teas, and any other activity that was filled with lots of high pitched squealing and "frivolous" activities. I'd rather talk world politics, literature, philosophy, and connect with someone through a a deep intellectual wrestling than discuss the type of food we like or the best places to find sales on purses.

In fact, being different has become part of my identity. I have always been the tall girl, the Christian girl, the homeschooled girl, the girl who didn't drink, the girl with her nose in a book, etc., and if those weren't enough I was the girl who didn't really think or act like a girl. That's a whole lot of different. On a good day I believe that God made me just this freakish because He has a special role for me here on earth. On a bad day I just feel frustrated, misunderstood, and insecure.

Yes, being an INTJ woman can make me a little awkward in social settings, especially those dominated by estrogen, and can make me a little intimidating because I speak my mind with conviction, but what I really wrestle with.is the different ways that I, as an INTJ, see being a woman, a Christ-follower, a wife, a waiting adoptive mother, a missionary. I see godly women all around me that I admire and cherish, but there aren't many that I identify with or see myself in. Sometimes I feel like I'm forging a path "less traveled" and it can be lonely and frustrating out here!

However, lest you think this blog is a plea for sympathy let me tell you that even on the bad days I am grateful to be who God made me, and ultimately I just want to create a platform for other women like me to not feel alone or isolated in our pursuit of a godly life as a _____ woman....you fill in the blank with your own "different." I believe there are god-given roles for men and women in the church, but I'd challenge that they are probably less confining than we make them. I always come back to the thought that God wouldn't have made me like this if He didn't know that there was a way to be me and be used for His kingdom! And I know that's true for you too.

I'm probably always going to be that woman who tells you what I think, will remind you that it wasn't just us women who were commanded to be meek and submissive, will make some men intimidated when I wear heels and my I'm-OK-with-being-in-charge-if-I need-to be face. I will not feel that my god-given role is confined only to the home, and I will want to barf when I see men knowingly or unknowingly diminish the roles of women in the church to babysitters and "pulpit candy." But I am working on saying and doing these things in love and humility and reflecting Christ as best as I can in the person He made me to be. I don't always get it right but I'm trying. If this describes you as well, then know you're not alone and even though it sometimes feels like an uphill battle the Lord can use you and your gifts and talents and personality.

Be you in Christ, and if you (and I) sometimes feel like a "different" kind of freak, embrace it...God may have something different for you to do today.

***CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG The INTJ Life

Lessons From Holy Week

2011-04-22T13:54:00.002-05:00

Today is Good Friday and we remember that Jesus went to the cross for you and for me. Today we solemnly thank Jesus for laying down His life in obedience to the Father so that we could find mercy and grace. This week is Holy Week in the church calendar--the culmination of the entire church year as we acknowledge what Christ did for us through death and celebrate the hope we have in His resurrection.

This week Andrew and I have been led on a journey that I feel is appropriate for this important week. The Lord has made the themes of obedience and self-sacrificing love just a little more real to us.

We had a college group visiting us all week, joining us for a week of service and exposure. We spent time doing work projects and led sessions where we challenged them to set aside their expectations for life and follow Jesus wherever He leads them. In one session we watched and discussed a video sermon from Francis Chan. In this sermon he challenges people to live biblically, which for most of the world will look radical and risky but for Christ-followers should be completely normal. Carve out an hour to watch it, you will not be disappointed You can find it here.

Andrew and I also received a call about an adoption case this week. One of the emotional challenges of this process is the vast and stormy seas of unknowns. I feel constantly kept off balance trying to adjust my expectations to new things God challenges us with about the age, the number, the challenges of children we might adopt. We find ourselves being forced into uncomfortable conclusions only to accept them, grow comfortable with them, and then be challenged all over again. And, for someone who likes to be in control I have taken each in stride, unusually going with the flow. But not this time.

As I wrestled with my expectations I felt restless, overwhelmed, and emotional. I couldn't find my feet until slowly I started letting the words that were bouncing around in my head to take root. I heard the message of Francis Chan echoing in my heart, which really is the message of Christ. It asked me, how far will you go for Christ? What will you pour out in an offering of obedience? I think about what we celebrate today, and really we celebrate Christ's humility and obedience, even unto death. And we know that Christ asks us to follow Him. That's uncomfortable and scary and sometimes seems impossible until you realize it's the only logical choice you have. It doesn't make sense to our world view but we serve a God that says you can only find your life if you lose it and that you must die to really live. And we serve a God who loved us enough to walk that path first as our example.

Today I feel at peace. I know that Andrew and I have submitted our hearts in obedience to what God has been speaking to us this week. I wish I could say I did it without a fight, but when I finally stopped wrestling I felt the peace that surpasses all understanding. I don't know what God has planned for our future and our family, but I do know that Jesus will continue to ask us to lay down more and more of what is dear to us in order to be more like Him. I do know that all I can do is be obedient with what God has put in front of me today and let Him take care of the rest. I do know that not everyone will always understand the steps that God asks us to take.

But how can we not take them in faith, when Jesus' journey of obedience took Him to the cross for us? How can I not lose every last expectation and idol stored up in my selfish heart in obedience to the God in whom my life is found? How can I not be caught up in the beautiful, upward call of Christ that promises hope and victory if we will follow Christ to the cross?

In Christ death is defeated, sin is conquered, darkness is transformed: what is there left to fear? That is why we call today Good Friday, because our God is good and He includes us in His victory!

Rejoice and follow Him!

Dear Restless Heart

2011-04-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

You think you hide it well, but your eyes tell the full story. The smile you force onto your face does not have the strength to lift the heavy weight of tears held inside--if the tears do not fall, you think, people will still believe that your world is not ripping apart. You want to believe that God is true, that change is possible, but, after all, your life still lays like fractured pieces of a stained glass window without shape or sense.

Your eyes lift and fall without ever looking into anyone else's. You fear looking up and seeing that someone else has found what you could not, or worse, that their eyes tell their own story of a losing battle without hope.

Wrestling hope and despair leaves you so weary that you can barely lift the beer in your hand, the phone to your ear, our the palm full of pills to your mouth to numb the gnawing fear inside of you. On a good day you feel nothing, on a better day you fill the void with rage. The slightest thing makes you angry because if it doesn't you know you will weep until you drown in the emptiness of your soul.

You think no one sees you. I see you. I want to shake you out of numbness and smooth the hardened lines around your weary eyes. I cannot, but I know Someone who can. But you have to stop fighting the breaking into pieces because the One I know is an Artist and His best work is done while bringing life out of the dust. Let the pieces fall. He will not fail to pick every one up and make something beautiful with it.

What do you really have to lose? The anger? The fear? The restlessness? My deepest prayer is that you will know the Prince of Peace and that, "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds." (Philippians 4:7)

Go in Peace

2011-04-08T11:30:00.000-05:00

Candles being packed away and table dressings being folded gently and placed in the cupboard lent a poignancy missed by some in the room. Four-plus years ago I would not have believed that there would be a lump in my throat as I read our closing liturgy, the liturgy I hated, then tolerated, then grew to be a part of.

We are in a season of change at World Impact and although God brings many new opportunities out of change, saying goodbye to the comforts that have held you through a mountainous journey can leave an ache in your chest. Today our staff church held its last service as Antioch Missionary Fellowship...in all its liturgical and controversial glory. We are being led toward new expeditions and manifestations of our collective worship. For some this passing is no more than a blink of an eye and a moving toward a new vision. But for others of us, closing this chapter is felt deeply as we remember the things we have been through, the lives connected through our collective wrestling with life, ministry, and each other. For a few of us, Antioch was a cord that connected all of the transitions, a cord that began frayed and unclear but was woven tightly as we joined with others on this journey and clung to one another for shelter from the storm.

Never was it perfect. Never did it breed a perfect union of God's people. Never did it connect to everyone at all times. But that is life. Its value was not its perfection, but in the way that it made us change ourselves as individuals to approach God as a communtiy. I will miss it, but I also rejoice in the knowledge that God is unchanging and He is ever in our midst. I pray that He will lead us into something that is different, yet equally as challenging. I pray that we embrace opportunities that will rock our pre-conceived ideas about worship and fellowship and that we will never seek what is best for ourselves but that which brings a community into the glory and shelter of God.

The Lord be with you.
And also with you.
The Lord be with you.
And also with you.
Lift up your hearts..
We lift them to the Lord.
Let us give thanks to the Lord our God, it is right to give Him thanks and praise. Amen

Go in peace.

April Update

2011-04-07T10:04:00.001-05:00

April 1, 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

Suddenly tears threatened to squeeze their potent mixture of joy, sadness, and shame from my well-controlled tear ducts. Even after five years in the city, I still have moments of revelation that break my heart in unexpected ways.

It was Thursday night and, as is my usual habit, I (Adria) sat behind the lobby desk buzzing people in and brandishing pens to enforce sign-in for our Adult Basketball Outreach. Andrew leaned on the desk as we hastily ate our dinner of sandwiches as people started to file in. From the hall I could hear the loud echoes of basketballs bouncing on the gym floor and guys warming up and talking a little pre-game smack, when Jason trotted out to the front desk to check the order of the play list.

Andrew has known Jason for many years, maintaining a relationship with him even through many ups and downs. Jason has struggled in his relationship with the Lord and with some significant family issues and personal decisions while growing up. These things led him into destructive behaviors and to dropping out of high school. Recently, however, Jason has been working on getting his life back in order. Most importantly, he has a renewed hunger for the Lord and has been one of our most consistent attendees of our weekly Bible Study.

As he perused the play list, Jason mentioned to Andrew and I that he had finally gotten his GED certificate. He said it so casually at first I did not register the significance. Andrew said, “Awesome! I want to see it.”

“Yeah,” Jason said, “I’ll show it to you. I’ve got it in my backpack. I’m taking that thing with me everywhere I go.” Then it hit me. I felt joy for this young man, who is making incredible steps in the right direction. I felt sadness that his life reflects so much pain and difficulty that securing a GED represented a major life achievement. And, I felt shame that I have taken so much for granted in my life. I thought, he had to work so hard to get his GED and is so proud of it that he carries it on his person at all times, do I even know where my high school and college diplomas are?

In the face of so much struggle in the city there have been times that I have felt guilty because I was born into the family I was and for the subsequent financial security, physical safety, and educational opportunities that were mine simply because of where God placed me. There are still times that feeling washes over me, but I know I had no more control over where God placed me than Jason did.

What God is teaching me in moments like these is that there is much about my life that I have assumed was my right because I am an American and because I am a “good Christian” who works hard. I am owed nothing. I do not deserve anything more or less than Jason. In fact, Jason has had to work significantly harder to achieve things that I have considered “lesser” than I have had to work to achieve things like a high school and college education. In these moments that God smacks me with humbling revelations I am truly in awe of my friends and neighbors here in the city. They are determined and resilient in ways I will never understand. Praise God for His mercies that meet each of us where we are: broken in our own ways and in desperate need of Him.

Please continue to pray for Jason and for the other young adults in our Bible Study that they would continue to respond to God’s call on their lives and for their strength to continue fighting to live a life pleasing to Him.

For His Kingdom, Andrew and Adria Medlen

Let the Little Children...Pull Weeds!

2011-04-05T20:54:00.000-05:00

We spent the last of today's evening hours outside fixing up our garden (Andrew mocked my city-girl construction of a vegetable garden) and cleaning up the "landscaping" in our front yard (I use that term ever so loosely). Usually these are not among my favorite activities but unlike yesterday, which was about 40 degrees and terribly windy, this evening was pleasant and the neighborhood full of people. I felt almost as much satisfaction about our clean yard as I did the sense of community I gained from being in my neighborhood.

Now before you think this a tranquil evening, there were sirens and lots of traffic and about 10 people across the street yelling and cursing at one another for about a half hour straight. Oh, and Stu, our dumb dog, doesn't listen so he almost got hit by a car and then got cussed out by the driver.

Along with pulling weeds and digging out unidentified weed-tree-stalks, we talked with neighbors and said hello to passersby. It's times like this that I remember that sometimes one of the best forms of ministry we can do is to just be visible and present in the community.

Then to make a great night even better some little helpers arrived:

Many hands make light work...or do they?

Anthony is doing some serious stone "sweeping."

Quick, who has the most fashonable wardrode for weeding?

American Idol: Gardening Edition

Stu doesn't seem to be enjoying that as much as the girls!

This was right before we had to chase her down the street as she ran away towards the street. Little stinker.

Questions heard while gardening with children:

Adria, did you marry Andrew because his name started with an A?
Andrew, did you marry Adria because her name started with an A?
Why didn't you adopt a kid yet?
Can you please get a kid our age so we can play with it?
Is that worm pooping?

Bigger Than Us

2011-03-31T19:55:00.002-05:00

One of my pet peeves, among many others, is how serious people take college and professional sports. What it comes down to for me is that most of the players have an inflated view of themselves, which is continually inflated by the general public, who apparently think that being able to run fast and play with balls is deeply moving and fantastic and worthy of millions of dollars. It's an unfortunate cycle.

I tend towards the camp of, sports are fine, but does playing them cure cancer or care for orphans or really do anything that makes a difference in my world? I guess you can figure out what my answer to that would be.

Being that we are in the middle of "March Madness" and my husband is an avid KU fan (yes, he is currently weeping in shame), I get a little irritated when people sit around talking about sports statistics and news as if it was interesting or all-encompassing. I don't get into sports...I'll watch them, I've enjoyed playing them, but I won't get anxiety about "my" team losing or become ecstatic that "my" team has made the playoffs. Heck, how is it your team anyway? Do you own the team? Are you on the team? Does someone you know and love have a vested interest in the team? You get my point.

So I was thinking about this the other day after I had been forced to listen to some more basketball updates and I began to internally scoff at those who spend so much of their life thinking about, watching, and talking about sports. Those poor unimaginative people.

But then I asked myself what it is that I get into. There are plenty of things I love but one that may affect me the most is Story. I love to get into stories and characters. When I read a good book or get to know great characters in a movie or TV show, it's almost as if they become a real part of my life. I even find myself thinking about those characters at times other than when I'm reading the book or watching the TV show. I compare their experiences to mine and find symbols in their existence that say something about the world. I get completely invested in what will happen to them, so much so that I feel anger or sadness or happiness for those characters when things happen to them. And then, when the book is over or the TV series is cancelled, I feel a sense of loss as I say good-bye.

Now I could make some pretty convincing arguments about why this is different or better than an obsession with particular sports teams, but I think at the heart of these very different interests and identifications is the same core need in us all: the desire to be part of something bigger than ourselves. By grafting ourselves into someone else's story (whether fictional, athletic, or otherwise) we have broadened the narrative of who we are and what we're about. There's no reason for Andrew to root for the Jayhawks, except that he's from Kansas...which, by that logic, would mean he must also root for corn farmers and mullets (haha, just kidding, Andrew). So it's not really about that. It's about finding something that piques your interest and then grabbing at whatever loose straws will connect you to other people, ideas, and movements involving that interest. These things connect people instantaneously. You love the Kansas Jayhawks? You've watched the A & E version of Pride and Prejudice? You're on my team! We can be friends.

So, I guess if I'm honest I'm seeking the same thing Mr. Constant-Stream-of-Sports-Updates is, the reassurance that I'm not in this thing called life by myself and that there is daily proof that the world has meaning greater than just what I bring to it.

I suppose as long as what we graft into our lives is also part of and representative of God's story I can't cast stones at someone else's interests....even if it does make me want to bang my head against a brick wall. But, please, let's make a deal, Sports Fans...I won't regale you with all of the latest happenings of Bilbo Baggins, or Coach Eric Taylor, or Elizabeth Bennet if you can talk about something other than sports for at least a few minutes! Thanks.

How Do I Know God is Real, You Ask?

2011-03-24T20:59:00.002-05:00

Bible Study tonight was full of great questions. How do you know God is real? Are God and Satan equals? Do you have to be baptized to go to heaven? How do we know we should believe the Bible?

As a Christian, questions like these simultaneously make you excited and stiffle the urge to groan aloud. It's hard to be peppered with all the "hard" questions and feel so inadequate in the face of such weighty inquiries. But most of the time when I hear these questions I also hear the gentle knocking of Christ on the heart's of people He is beckonning to Himself.

Sitting around our Bible Study circle tonight were young adults who love the Lord, some who don't, some come from a history of life in the street, some are still dabbling in it. But each of us were unified through a desire to know something about the Lord. Some asked questions, others did their best to answer and I sat back thrilled at the sight of a community of young people working to lead one another into a better understanding of the Lord.

Sometimes these questions come from the most unlikely of askers, and it is then that I know the Lord is up to something. There is no way this person would ask this question without spiritual prompting, I think to myself. At times like this I remember Ecclesiases 3:11, which says "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

How do I know God is real, you ask? I know He is real because we are born with eternal questions in our heart and if we stop to contemplate reality we can't help but ask them. I know because I see His hand constantly moving and shaping people and drawing them to Himself. I know because I see young lives, that by all logical standards should be crushed and ruined and hopeless, unfolding before the Lord in His glory. I know because there is no way to make sense of the world without God.

God is real and He is at work in the city!

I Love My Life

2011-03-22T15:06:00.001-05:00

Sunday night Andrew and I were sitting with some colorful characters in a restaurant that I will not name, recommend, or revisit due to its pandering to an unwholesome male clientele; however, as I looked around and listened to the slightly crusty conversation going on around me I thought, So many people don't get to live my life.

In the course of 24 hours we had spent time with Moody seminary students as they volunteered their time at World Impact; we had taken a friend and neighbor to lunch for his birthday where we had a few candid conversations about life and race; we had spent time sitting on our porch with some neighborhood kids; and then we were in a ritzy area of St. Louis at an unexpectedly risque restaurant with guys who some people would get a little nervous about if they passed them on the street.

I love the fact that God has blessed us with the opportunity to have such diversity in our lives and what those opportunities mean for how we get to see the world. Most people live in a neighborhood with people who generally live and look like them, they go to work with people with whom they have a great deal in common, and spend time with friends who reflect the same culture and values as they have. But our lives look a little bit different than that.

I have been told that I am a pessimist, and it's true, I generally see the fact that the glass is half empty before I notice that it is also half full. Being in inner city ministry can be very hard, and it is easy to focus on those hardships, but the last few days God has given me a joy in the uniqueness of my experiences.

One of the conversations we had over our friend's birthday lunch was the use of identifying with those of your own race as "my people." Now, I have nothing against identifying with a culture or race as part of your life and heritage, but "my people" shouldn't be white people or middle-class people, "my people" should be God's people...which is ALL people. So, I can say without any hesitation that in Christ, my white-suburban family members are "my people," the kids I love and play with on our porch in North St. Louis are "my people," and those rough-around-the-edges guys we had Sunday dinner with are "my people" too.

I feel so blessed to live a life that encounters so many of God's unique people. I have learned that how you see the world partially depends on how much you are exposed to it and not everyone has the opportunity so readily available to them. As an inner-city missionary I have the privilege of coming from a comfortable, Christian, background, yet I am also privileged to live in a black community and a neighborhood that knows poverty. I get to claim wonderful Christians around the U.S. as family and partners in ministry and I get to live in a neighborhood and culture that would otherwise be foreign to me. I can have just as comfortable a conversation with a seminary student as with a guy who wears Mr. T necklaces, shades, and has a creepy tattoo on the back of his bald head, and I think that's just how Jesus would want it.

I love my life.

Spring Break 2011

2011-03-21T20:26:00.000-05:00

We had less staff this year, fewer volunteers, and not as many kids as usual for our annual Spring Break Program, but that didn't stop us from having a great week or from seeing God provide in beautiful ways. In fact, the longer our staff feels stretched out thin and blowing in the wind, the greater our understanding is of just how big and how good God is.

He provided us with some quality volunteers, who worked very hard for us all week. He brought us just the right amount of children, even if we thought we could've handled more. Most of the week we had 11 or 12 kids, but on Friday we had 22! This was still below our usual Spring Break numbers but a significant change from the rest of the week. It was almost as if God gave us that day just to prove that He always knows best :). While the day went well, it definitely was right on the edge of controlled chaos, and gave us a tiny taste of what things would have been like if we had still had our usual 30-40 kids. All I really could say by the end of Friday was, "Thank you, Jesus, we made it!"

The kids had a wonderful time on our "Ramblin' Road Trip" in which we learned about difference cities in the US, as well as the ways God wants us to go in life. The theme verse was "Teach me your ways, O Lord, show me your paths." Psalm 25:4 (Or Pslams as one dear little boy called it). We "went to" Washington D.C. and Chicago, to Lebanon, Kansas, and Yellowstone National Park, ending the week at Knott's Berry Farm. It was fun finding ways to incorporate the themes of each day into our activities (but don't tell the kids that Digiorno's is not Chicago style pizza haha).

All in all, it was another great Spring Break and God is continuing to prove faithful to us in our times of need! Here's a few fun photos of the week:

Paper Pregnant

2011-03-16T20:34:00.000-05:00

I heard someone refer to their upcoming adoption as being "paper pregnant" and I liked it. Waiting for a child, no matter how God brings them to you, causes worries, joy, massive food consumption (stress induced or not), room preparations, feelings of panic that your life is about to change forever, insecurities, lots of informational reading, tossing and turning at night, and impatient excitement.

However, in adoption, unlike in pregnancy, you endure these things often for over a year! Being more abstract than an increasing belly, people forget there's a child growing in your heart if not in your body. And like the feelings of discomfort when a baby is almost to term, adoptive parents huff and groan and become exasperatedly impatient as we wait...and wait...and wait...

In pregnancy you mark time by weeks and trimesters, adoptive parents mark time by application deadlines, home study approvals, and licensing dates. Here's how we've marked time this past year:

February 2010- We both felt God call us to adopt now.
March 2010- Filled out applications with One Heart Family Ministries to start licensing classes.
June 2010- Begin licensing classes and start our home study (and lots of paperwork).
August 2010- Finish 9 weeks of foster licensing classes, lots of paperwork, and complete our home study.
September 2010- Finish adoption licensing classes.
October 2010- Wait....and take First Aid and CPR certification class.
November 2010- We're licensed foster parents!
January 2011- Get our first foster placement call but decide it's not a good fit for us.
March 2011- We're licensed adoptive parents! We are searching and waiting and praying...huff...groan...huff :)

His Most Excellent Harmonies

2011-03-09T10:43:00.001-06:00

A close friend and neighbor came to Andrew and I struggling with some heavy things last night. This isn't the first time this friend has been overwhelmed with the negative thoughts and experiences in their life. I empathize, because I too am someone that can get lost in the depth of my sorrows and frustrations, falling further each minute into a darker place.

Immediately I thought of a verse that I have shared with this friend before and have spoken to my own mind many a long night. I found these verses in The Message to read like this:

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8-9

Before all you Bible snobs start questioning my spiritual soundness for quoting The Message Bible, read those verses again and really meditate on what they say to your heart. I think it is a beautiful rendition of those verses, culminating in "God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

Our worried and burdened hearts can know that God makes all things work together. That part of the statement has nothing to do with us. God will make all things work together, without our help, but the really beautiful part comes next. Paul says, if you stay your mind on what is true and live submitted to Christ, God will work you into His most excellent harmonies.

When I read that I thought about life as God's song...His story written and sung through His creation and His people. When people sing in harmony it fills out a song, giving it depth and width and beauty, yet if you hear just one person's part the delivery flattens and seems to make less sense. Sometimes all we get to hear is our piece of God's harmonies and it can become easy to focus on how much our story doesn't measure up to the fullness of our dreams. Yet, the reality is that our piece is only one harmony in the fullness of God's song. And that part does depend partly on us. Will we allow God, through submission, to work the varying notes of our lives into his grand performance?

Friend, God makes all things work together...and that means you too. But He doesn't stop there. If you are faithful to dwell on truth and live for Christ, He will make you more than functional; He will work you into His masterpiece of beauty.

The Status of Hearts

2011-03-08T13:32:00.002-06:00

On Facebook you can look for someone's relationship status by looking in their profile for the heart followed by a description: "In a Relationship," "Married," "Single," "It's Complicated."

I wish that people's spiritual hearts came with the same forthrightness. Maybe following them around could be a little notice that tells you: "Sold out for the Lord," "Not even close to interested," "Confused," "Wounded," or "It's Complicated." I suppose most of us would be carrying that last one around quite often if we're honest.

But instead, as a Christian and a missionary, I am asked to take up the delicate task of reading hearts with no obvious tag lines. I must be able to read people well enough to know when they are spiritually open, press them when they are needing to be challenged, and nurture them when they are spiritually needy. I am not responsible for the status of their hearts, but I am responsible for offering Christ in ways that reflect their individual needs. It can be a little daunting at times.

But, praise God that He does not make us carry out this task without His very own divine intervention. It is the Lord who changes the status of hearts. There really is nothing more exciting than watching someone's heart begin to soften before the Lord and nothing more humbling than being able to participate in the process.

Right now at World Impact we are in a season where people are experiencing a collective spiritual hunger in a way that none of us have previously experienced. We are seeing young men, who have been participants of World Impact programs for years, open their hearts to the Lord and other men and women who are genuinely asking questions. Some of the statuses of their hearts have changed from "I don't care" to "I want something more" and a few have newly taken up "I follow Christ."

God is moving in unexpected ways as we pray specifically for those that God has brought to us. We are nonplussed at the strides some individuals are taking, while still burdened for those whose hearts are so hard. Please continue to pray for us and for the status of hearts in our neighborhood. Pray that God continue to swell the hearts and minds of individuals with a yearning to know Him and pray that we, as missionaries, can be discerning enough to see how God is prompting each one.

Decisions, Decisions

2011-03-07T14:14:00.000-06:00

Anyone who knows me knows that making decisions comes about as easily for me as sharing my feelings. But, then you'd have to know me to know that I find that difficult too; so difficult, in fact, that my mother used to tell me I'd rather take a hot poker to my eye than share my feelings. I don't know how she came up with such a graphic analogy, but the answer is, yes, yes I would. I feel the same way about major decisions.

It's not that I'm incapable of making decisions, but for me they bring along a weighty burden that I dread. I get performance anxiety. I never want to make the "wrong" choice. Along with the burden I place on myself to "choose correctly," my mind does constant spirals, thinking through every option and every possible consequence for days on end, doing cerebral somersaults that are exhausting.

Currently, Andrew and I are wrestling over the decisions necessary as we continue to pursue adoption. This whole process has been so open-ended it has nearly caused my over-thinking-control-freak-performance-anxiety-ridden self to have a heart attack. Ultimately, I know that God will bring us the right child or children, but it's the in between time that drives me nuts. Our process is especially open-ended because we've been open to fostering in the right situation, but also looking for children available for adoption...each of which requires different approaches. And then there is the incredibly complex and confusing bureaucracy that is the foster system.

We're now finding out things about the process that really would have been helpful to know months ago as we try to move forward. And, of course, there is just my usual impatience. Once I do make a decision I want to be able to get closure on that decision...which is obviously not how this process works. And then there is the burden of responsibility that when you choose to adopt not only is your future held in the balance, but also the future of a little child who has already experienced enough pain and trauma for a lifetime that it can be paralyzing. One of the challenging things about this journey is that most people don't have this same experience and there is no way for people to really understand what this is like. And so, I begin to feel alone in my head that is full of exhaustingly complex thoughts.

I'm finding it difficult not to hit a wall of frustration. It's hard to focus on the things I need to get done today, when I am worrying and thinking about this process and thinking about the child or children God has for us waiting out there somewhere. But, I'm realizing that this process will consume me if I don't make an effort to release things to the Lord each day. I feel like that means committing to an even more exhausting wrestling match with my brain as I try to wrench free my worrisome thoughts and give them to the Lord, but ultimately I know that is the only avenue to peace.

Andrew and I are so excited about adopting and are, sometimes impatiently, waiting for God to open the right doors and fervently praying for wisdom as we try to make the best decisions as we wait. We're ready for the end to be in sight, but, in the mean time I guess God is working on some more sanctification in my life. Sometimes I think I'd rather take the hot poker to my eye.

March Update

2011-03-02T13:30:00.000-06:00

Dear Team,
Desire: many people describe this word in various ways. Let me introduce you to Mike and how he recently expressed desire. I (Andrew) met Mike 10 years ago. He was in my 5th grade summer class. What a ball full of energy Mike was and still is! Even as a 5th grader, I recognized the great attribute of leadership that he expressed. It has not been the easiest 10 years for Mike but he is now 22 years old and consistently coming to our Thursday night Bible study.

Our Bible Study has been averaging about 10 guys every week, most of them coming from our basketball program. It starts at 6:00 p.m. and lasts for one hour, but for several weeks we had guys straggling in late up until 7:00 when basketball starts. Because of the interruptions we finally had to make a cut off at 6:30, meaning that if people did not show up by 6:30 they would have to wait until our basketball program starts at 7:00.

So the following week after we made this announcement, Mike rang the doorbell at 6:00 p.m. on the dot, ready for Bible study. He came to tell us that he had ordered some food across the street at the Chinese restaurant and he would be coming right back. He wanted to make sure that we did not start without him. He had confused the times and he thought that we were going to make the cutoff at 6:00 p.m. instead at 6:30 p. m. Mike did not want to be left out of the study.

This is the kind of desire that is being fleshed out in North St. Louis. There is no incentive to come to this Bible study—we do not have even have snacks! We are going over the basics of Christianity and these young men keep coming with a desire to find out what that looks like. It is an encouraging thing to witness their desire for deeper understanding.

It would have been easy to give up on Mike. His zeal for Christ has not always been active. But, we consistently prayed for him and let him know that we were always here for him. Seeing Mike grow from a 5th grader to a 22-year-old man has been such an honor. I fully believe that Mike and others from this Bible study will be the next leaders in our local churches. I take great comfort in the words found in Jeremiah 33: “Thus says the Lord: In this place of which you say, ‘It is a waste without man or beast,’ in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are desolate, without man or inhabitant or beast, there shall be heard again the voice of mirth and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voices of those who sing, as they bring thank offerings to the house of the Lord: “’Give thanks to the Lord of hosts, for the Lord is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! For I will restore the fortunes of the land as at first, says the Lord.” Thank you for sending us to this city and allowing us to participate in what God is doing in these young men’s lives!

Let’s take this city for God!
Andrew & Adria Medlen

We're All Not OK

2011-02-28T16:08:00.000-06:00

As a staff we are reading When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor or Yourself and for most of us it has been an eye-opening book. The danger of being in ministry is that we get comfortable with the idea that we have the answers for serving the poor, but this book has a loving rebuke for everyone, whether you have been serving the poor for decades or if you have never done anything to help the poor in your life.

I was struck by a quote from the book that emphasises our need to find humility before we can help others. The authors write that we must approach serving the poor saying, "I'm not OK. You're not OK. But, Jesus can fix us both." I was convicted by the premise that we, as mainstream American Christians, have a subconscious feeling that we have all the answers and that the poor need our great help. The result is that we bring well-meaning but destructive condescension with our desires to serve the poor, which blinds us and degrades the poor.

How many times have I looked at a homeless man, disheveled and without any teeth, and felt a pity that bordered on condescension? I don't mean it to be so, but somewhere in the recesses of my heart I must believe that I have the answers to life that he does not for it happens more times than I would like to admit.

The only way I can really serve the poor with a pure heart is to first acknowledge that I am an equally broken person, even if in different ways, and it is only the grace and mercy of Christ that has allowed any healing and blessing and prosperity in my life.

Pride that has weaseled and wiggled into the farthest recesses of our American Christian hearts can be difficult to eradicate. We don't want it to be there, but the brokenness of our own culture has planted seeds of deception that took root even without our consent. They must be sought and plucked out if we are to truly serve others as Christ asks of us.

I have to remember to preface every Christian act of service with "I'm not OK" before I ever point out that "You're not OK." Which sounds bleak, until we add, "But Jesus can fix us both!"

Please check out When Helping Hurts.

Do You Value God or Safety?

2011-02-13T13:08:00.000-06:00

You can not pursue God and pursue safety.

If you studied cities in the Bible you would find that the first city was created in rebellion to God. After killing Able, Cain was commanded to be a wanderer under the protection of the Lord. But what did Cain do? He built a city because he was afraid. Babel was created because man believed in their own name and power. God never intended for us to find our glory and our safety in something we could build. Yet, the history of the world shows that we stubbornly pursue anything that allows us to feel secure apart from God.

Personally I feel that this has been the greatest downfall of America. What happens when you are lulled into feeling safe by your own design? You lose your edge, you forget your passion, you become puffed up, ignorant consumers. For all of our talk about education we are a shockingly ignorant nation who trusts in our perceived safety instead of God's.

I've recently been thinking a lot about this because there are some individuals who refuse to come to our home or to World Impact because of their perceived lack of safety. There are others who have opinions about the people in our community that may be well meaning but are completely ignorant of truth.

I can't help but feel a little offended when people say things about my neighborhood and neighbors that are founded in ignorance and ungodly fear. I do not judge the initial fear or ignorance, the feeling that this community may be very unfamiliar and therefore scary or wrong, but I do judge an unwillingness to understand or expose yourself to something outside the walls of your own "city of safety."

Each of us have our own "city of safety." It might be education, or a house in the suburbs, or church, or a house in the country, or a job, or money. None of these things are bad in and of themselves, but when we run to these for a feeling of security we have run from God.

My challenge to myself and also to you, is to seek God to the point that it makes us uncomfortable. Is there any area of your life that makes you feel like you must cling to God in order to manage or lean on Him to give you new eyes of understanding? If not, you may need to evaluate what you are pursuing.

I am reminded of a quote from C. S. Lewis' The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe where when talking about Aslan the Beavers say to the children:

"Aslan is a lion – the Lion, the great lion.”

“Ooh!” said Susan, “I’d thought he was a man. Is he – quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”

“That you will, dearie, and no mistake” said Mrs Beaver; “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
“Safe?” said Mr Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good."

The plans God has for each of us are not safe by worldly standards. We should not seek to avoid the things we fear, or teach our children ignorance and prejudice by example. But, we can know that God, while asking us to go to places that test our faith, will always do so with love and goodness in mind not only for us, but also for the whole world.

More Wizardly Wisdom from Middle-earth

2011-02-10T20:18:00.001-06:00

I both laughed and felt an empathetic connection to Frodo's situation when I read this passage of The Fellowship of the Ring. Frodo is fearing what may be asked of him, still trying to figure out ways that he will not have to go on the full journey to destroy the Ring, and he complains to Gandalf:

'I am not made for perilous quests. I wish I had never seen the Ring! Why did it come to me? Why was I chosen?'

'Such questions cannot be answered,' said Gandalf. 'You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess; not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.'

I can imagine Frodo thinking, thanks, Gandalf, for those rousing words of encouragement. On the other hand, if Frodo is going to accomplish the things that lie ahead he will have to have an honest self-awareness and sheer determination. He wasn't chosen because he was mighty and wise, but because he knew his limitations but had enough integrity to go ahead and do what must be done even when he knew it was a job well outside his credentials.

We live in a generation where everyone tells you, You're awesome! You're amazing! You're a Rock Star! We have a lot of young people that believe there is something magically different and special about themselves and when that imagined magic does not translate into smooth success in world domination there is disillusionment and defeat. And, in the mean time we have a lot of self-absorbed and ineffective people running around.

What if, instead, we told each other the truth? God made you and loves you and has a purpose for you. You have been chosen for a particular piece of Kingdom building, but not because you are more powerful and wise and amazing than anyone else, but because God has equipped you with just enough strength and heart and wits that if you rely on Him, and the people He puts around you, you can get the job done.

If we told each other that, if we told our children that, I think we'd have a different world. I think we'd stop worrying about proving our Rock Star status and focus more on getting things done. We'd have more humility and honesty and a willingness to dig in and do the hard work necessary to build God's Kingdom.

So, if you feel like you have an impossibly large task looming in front of you, let me be the first to give you some Gandalf wisdom: Friend, there's no telling why God chose you for this task. You don't have amazing powers and skills and you aren't a Rock Star. But, you have a God who equipped you with just enough sense and strength and heart to cling for dear life to the only One who will carry you through to victory. So, journey on because even though you yourself aren't awesome and amazing God is and He can use you to do some pretty amazing things for His glory.

Wisdom from a Hobit and Wizard

2011-02-09T20:57:00.000-06:00

I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Recently Andrew and I re watched the three movies and I was reminded of the power and depth of the story. I decided to read the books, since, ashamedly, I never had.

You know something is good literature when you can read about a hobit's conversation with a wizard in The Shire of Middle-earth, and feel that you completely identify. Towards the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring, when Frodo is just getting a hint of what it will mean to be the bearer of the ring, Gandalf tells him about the dark and evil times that have come upon Middle-earth.

'I wish it need not have happened in my time,' said Frodo.

'So do I,' said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.'

I felt for a moment that I was Frodo. Life can be so hard sometimes. Ministry in the inner city can be difficult and mind-numbingly overwhelming. The world is full of distressing realities. Sometimes I feel too small for the task and wish that these were not challenges for our time. But, that's not a new feeling. The world has been full of terrible realities since Adam and Eve succumbed to the lies of the Serpent. And since then many overwhelmed and reluctant people have had to face each day with the resolve to do whatever it takes and risk it all to adequately meet the needs of their time.

I think if Frodo had really known what was to come he could never have found the courage to make the journey, but he mustered up just enough strength to do what he had to for that day. I think God, in His mercy, only asks us to focus on meeting the challenges He sets before us each day. And, little by little, if we are faithful, we will not be able to believe the things we have accomplished.

We can't choose the challenges presented to us, but we can choose to find just enough resolve to make a difference today and through God's grace we may be able to change the world.

February Update

2011-02-04T16:22:00.003-06:00

Dear Family and Friends,
As an entire month of the new year has already surged past us we have begun to plan in earnest for the next year of ministry. With so few staff we are having to think strategically and creatively about what God would have us do. It can be uncomfortable to evaluate the status quo, but often God uses these challenges to shake things up, reprioritize our activities, and move us in new directions.

We have watched our High School and Adult Basketball outreaches flourish as nearly 400 youth and adults have attended this past year and had opportunities to hear the Gospel. We were thrilled to see several of the youth and adults attend a new Bible study we started on Thursday nights. Attendance has fluctuated some but we are beginning to identify young men who truly are hungry for the Word of God. We pray that God increases their numbers and brings these individuals to faith in Him.

As a national and local ministry we feel God calling us to an even more intensive focus on the discipleship of indigenous leaders. At the end of 2010 we identified specific people that we see as potential Christian leaders in our community and are committing to pray that God would begin to open their eyes to the Gospel and/or develop in them a passion to follow Christ in their families and community. We ask that you join us in prayer for these individuals. If you would like to pray specifically for them and for other needs as they come up please email us and we will email you updated prayer lists throughout the year.

We are also praying for the advancement of The Urban Ministry Institute (TUMI) here in St. Louis. We will soon have a new site coordinator who will help expand our presence in the city and the number of classes we can offer. God is doing amazing things through TUMI internationally and we know that He will continue to use this incredible ministry tool to raise up Godly leaders here in North St. Louis.

Thank you for your continued prayers, faithful encouragement and support.

For His Kingdom,
Andrew and Adria Medlen

Aspiring to Adequacy

2011-02-03T20:52:00.002-06:00

I tend to think of "adequate" as the ring around the center of a target: hitting it will get the job done but you're not going to WOW anyone doing it. I think adequate is average and who really wants to be average? Whether logical or not, I feel shame associated with this word, as if I would be a failure should something I do be deemed as "adequate." It seems the enemy of great.

Yet, in a recent sermon, my view on "adequate" was completely destroyed and it has left me rethinking everything. The pastor used the movie The King's Speech as an illustration. This movie is about King George VI (Bertie, as his family and friends call him). He is suddenly crowned king of England and must overcome a terrible speech impediment to bolster his country's confidence through an inspirational speech as they are on the brink of war. He is more than reluctant to take the throne but we watch as he begins to find his voice, with the help of an eccentric speech therapist, and is ultimately able to deliver the speech his country needs.

Bertie had no aspirations of greatness; in fact he never wanted to be king. His abilities had been diminished in his own eyes as well as others because of his severe stutter and, in fact, his wildest hope would be that he could somehow merely be enough for his family and country. But he faces the challenge and meets his country's need and becomes a better man for it.

One of the pastor's points was that instead of shooting for being hip or relevant or the next best thing, we should focus on being adequate in a time of great need. And I thought, isn't that the key to every great story of heroism? The people who have achieved great things have done so reluctantly, aware of their shortcomings, but tenaciously sought to be adequate in a time of great need because, really, what else was there to do? History was changed because people like George Washington and Martin Luther King Jr.and Frodo Baggins (Hey, mythical history matters too) just took whatever need was in front of them and gave everything they had to be part of the solution.

Working in the city can be overwhelming. The needs are all around us. In fact, more times than not I feel my own inadequacy like a weight around my neck. If I'm honest, it would be exciting to think about writing a best-selling book about inner-city ministry. It's not as exciting to wake up and go to a funeral for a young man who was killed, hug a girl who has been sexually assaulted, accept hospitality when it means sitting on a couch that smells like urine, work on homework with a child who has been a victim of a terrible education, plan a fundraiser for monumental theft damages....

I think we can all agree that we live in a time of great need: families are broken and hurting; people are dying from hunger, malaria, and aids; children are orphaned; neighbors suffer loneliness. In perspective it seems absurd that we would try to aim at anything above adequate, because to be adequate in these hard times means being more than we could ever be in and of ourselves. Really, it would be a miracle of a merciful God to adequately meet all those needs.

In the last few weeks I'm finding myself aspiring to adequacy and realizing how often I fall short of it. To be adequate in the face of tremendous need is a goal that has unlimited potential for growth. It is not glorious or exciting, it can be grueling and demanding, but if more of us asked God to make us adequate for the challenges of each day we could change the world. There truly is no shame in adequacy, only faithfulness and perseverance and an unabashed reliance on the strength of the only One who was and is and ever will be great.

Patience: It's a Fruit!

2011-01-27T21:00:00.000-06:00

I have this friend from Bible college who is sweet and cute and an all-around godly woman. I can't really picture her in a fit of impatience that wouldn't in some way still leave you feeling that the encounter was generally pleasant. One day, I don't remember the occasion, she exclaimed in a playful admonition, "Patience: It's a fruit!" After so many years I can't remember if that was something she regularly said or if it was a single moment of witty wisdom, but it has stuck with me ever since. Quite often when I am pondering patience, or my lack of it, or if I have encountered a particularly frustrating moment, her clear, bubbly voice interjects..."Patience: It's a fruit!"

As far as the fruits of the Spirit go, patience is not at the top of the list of things I'm particularly good at. I told Andrew the other day in a fit of frustration towards him (um, yeah, we don't have a perfect marriage, but don't tell anyone :)) "You have squeezed my patience fruit dry today!" But the truth is that I let a lot of people and too many situations juice my patience fruit.

Recently when I was checking out at Sam's Club with Andrew we slipped into what appeared to be the shortest line feeling the sort of secret victory you feel when you find these sorts of lines, but, appearances are deceiving and we were there for awhile. Somehow I have a knack for choosing the checkout lines that take the longest amount of time with the fewest people! I've come to the conclusion that it must be one of the many tactics that God is using to work out patience in my life...it always frustrates me (I'm obviously not taking the fast-track to sanctification).

Some other areas in which my patience fruit is put through the wringer: dealing with sales people and some city employees, when things don't go according to my plans, any situation that does not make logical sense, when people walk slowly in front of me or stop in the middle of the isle at the store and block the path, people who drive like they are dumb or drunk, when I have to repeat myself, anything that wastes my time, people who talk and talk and say nothing meaningful, Subway workers who try to get ahead on sandwiches and ask you what you want on your sandwich before you even reach their section...this list goes on.

Today I gave a friend some advice and before I knew it words tumbled out of my mouth, "It's like if I were to ask God to give me patience towards someone. I can't just expect that He's going to give me warm fuzzy feelings all of a sudden. He's probably going to give me a situation that will require patience of me and see if I'm really serious about my desire for it." And while I was saying those words I thought "Dang it! Now I have to work on my patience so I'm not a hypocrite!!" Note to self: never make illustrations meant to gently rebuke someone with one of your areas of weakness.

If I'm honest with myself, when I'm impatient I'm telling someone that I am most important, my time is more valuable than their's, or I have all the answers. That's not really what I want to tell people (usually).

So I'm working on it, but be kind--my patience looks a little like a prune right now. But, I'm hoping that one day it will be big and plump and juicy and even if I encounter a particularly vexing sales person who is manning a checkout line that is taking forever and who is not paying attention so I have to repeat myself over and over but they are really just talking and talking and saying nothing of meaning, I will just smile a peaceful sort of smile that remembers the days when I was less mature and more impatient.

Patience: It's a Fruit!

Turned Upside Down

2011-01-20T16:31:00.000-06:00

We don't even have kids yet and they're already turning our life upside down.

Two weeks ago Andrew and I got our first foster placement call. We were on our way to the AT&T store to buy a replacement cord for our router when our licensing worker called. At first I felt very calm; I got all the information and asked how long we had to decide. We had about 45 minutes.

OK, we can do this, I thought. As we drove on we verbalized the pros and cons, trying to mull over all the implications we could think of with about a teaspoon of information. Because we've decided to pursue adoption through the foster care system it adds a bit more gravity to a decision about taking in children. Ultimately the goal of foster care is to reunite children with their families...which can be a little counter-productive for our desire to adopt. So, we've been praying that God would make clear to us what He would have us do, try to be open to any opportunities He might lead us in, and, yet, still stay true to our desire to adopt.

The next 45 minutes included about a hundred "Lord, what should we do?s" thrown in the direction of heaven while our emotions flew all over the map. For awhile it seemed that perhaps we would be bringing home two kids that very day. THAT was terrifying.

I kept asking God for an answer but kept getting back "trust." Since that wasn't an answer that I could give our licensing worker I didn't know what to do with that. We thought through a little more and asked a few more questions and ultimately came to the conclusion that this was not the right fit for our family. But, I was a wreck the rest of the day (a day in which I also almost hit a homeless man who ran out into the street in the dark AND drove home just in time to witness a drunk driver driving back and forth all over our neighbor's yard after screeching around the corner and ploughing past the street sign and large planter...I felt like we were running on adrenaline all day!).

Both Andrew and I felt some guilt about the decision as we thought about those kids having to experience all that they had, but ultimately we had peace about it and prayed for those little boys to be welcomed into a loving home until they could be reunited with their family.

With some distance the response "trust" has made more sense. Ultimately we just had to make the best decision from the information we had and trust that God would honor our willingness to follow Him.

That experience was also a little bit life-changing. The reality that we could have kids in our home at ANY time hit me. Life has been all of a blur for the past year and I've kept telling myself that we would just deal with all the necessary changes when the time came, that I was too busy to think about it now. How stupid. Like I could completely alter my life within the span of 45 minutes and not expect there to be some serious casualties.

Ultimately I know that whatever plans that we make now, that seem like they are completely life-altering, will probably pale in comparison to what will occur on the day that God brings a child or children into our home. But God has used that call to help us make some necessary changes in the way we live and do ministry and rank our priorities...which has been both a challenging and wonderful thing.

It's not an easy process but in my heart I do trust that God is unfolding something great and will lead us in the direction we should go...even if it turns us upside down.

Meaningful and Perfect

2011-01-19T11:19:00.000-06:00

I feel the need to be perfect and deep. All the time. I don't know where or when I decided this was even possible but those are the standards that I hold high above my head and then spend the rest of my time leaping and jumping and falling and tripping to achieve.

Or, I eye my standards and, acknowledging that they are out of my reach, I just sit down and pass on that particular task...it's not worth doing if I don't know that I can do it The Best.

I like having high standards, I think that's biblical...but unrealistically high? I can never be perfect and not everything I say can be earth-shatteringly deep--even if I'd love for that to be true.

More often than not, I wear myself out pursuing perfection in all the things I feel are put on my shoulders by others and by life's circumstances and I let the things I love and have a passion for slip past me because I fear failure in those things the most. I end up burned out and feeling empty and useless

One thing I love about the city is that everything is very real here. There aren't many facades that survive. I can learn a lot from that. I can easily get in the way of the truth: Jesus is my only meaning and perfection.

I recently resurrected an old writing of mine from college where I wrote:

One night when I was walking skid row with a friend, handing out food and talking to people, I met Alex--who had just been released from prison that morning for drug and gang related activities. He gave me the best compliment I think I'll ever receive and added some perspective to my life aspirations. He said he didn't understand it but when I talked about Jesus Christ my face lit up, my eyes were bright, I was smiling from ear to ear, and it was beautiful. I have never felt more excited, more fulfilled, or more sure in my life, than right then when I knew I was accomplishing God's plan for my life--to live so transparently that everyone could see the reason I lived at all.

Apparently, this is a lesson I must keep re-learning. Most of the time I subconsciously feel that I can best represent God when I am "together," but too often that leaves people seeing ME and my desperate attempts to be meaningful and perfect. Instead I just want them to see Jesus...which, heaven help me, will require me to put a little more failure on the line and relinquish the idea that I could ever be The Best...that title has already been won, and it wasn't by me.

Refresh

2011-01-13T15:29:00.001-06:00

I get so irritated when I push the refresh button on my internet browser and the page whites out and the little green bar at the bottom of the screen freezes a third of the way to complete. I don't have the patience to wait. So, I push it again, and again, and sometimes, again, which results in...a blank screen and irritation.

I feel like I've been doing that with my life. I'm tired and discouraged and run down and I keep trying to quickly hit the Refresh button, hoping that one day spent relaxing or a weekend away from "life" and ministry will fill me back up. But, I only get more frustrated and feel like change will never come.

Today I've been thinking a lot about change. There's a lot of change that happens to us, and then there's the change we have to make happen. I'm in a season of both.

The hardest part is learning to make time to be refreshed in all the challenges of life. The depletion didn't happen overnight. It was a result of not prioritizing my time with God one day, facing questions with no earthly answers another, feeling other's responsibility as my own yet another day, and on and on.

And so, the refreshment will not happen overnight either. I'm working on making space to just sit and listen to the words of songs that touch me or to bring clarity to the thoughts in my head by coaxing them out on paper. I'm trying to bring perspective to which responsibilities are mine and which are not. I'm working on listening to God's voice. I'm trying to evaluate priorities and expectations. I'm trying to be at peace with the little increments of improvement and not keep trying for instant fixes. Then, like the green bar at the bottom of my browser, with patience and God's timing, refreshment will come.

One day at a time.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul...

Psalm 23

Love & Marriage

2011-01-12T16:23:00.000-06:00

I can hardly believe that it has been three years since Andrew and I were married. Today it is bitingly cold with snow on the ground, but three years ago on January 12th it was sunny and dry and in the mid 50s. A beautiful day to get married at the Jewel Box atrium in Forest Park. I thought it only appropriate to take some time to reflect on love and marriage and the lessons I have learned in the past 3 years.

Here's a few things people don't tell you before you get married or they tell you and you ignore because you think they're crazy:

When you get home from the honeymoon you may all of a sudden realize that your husband or wife has some of the most annoying daily habits of anyone you know. It's true, you never thought you'd be that couple arguing over what temperature the thermostat should be set on or how to organize your refrigerator or who sleeps with whose face breathing in the others...but you will. Give it a while and you'll narrow those arguments down to a top five and the rest work themselves out.
You don't have to feel like the world is over if when people ask you "Don't you just LOVE being married?" you want to punch them in the face. You're not alone if the first couple years feels closer to the sickness/poorer/death part of the vows. It gets better.
Love (said with a sickeningly sweet tone) is totally different from Love. Love is less of a feeling and more of a state of mind that requires daily self-sacrifice; it's love modeled by Christ and is the hardest part of the marriage commitment. Enjoy the moments of love but cherish the times you feel Loved...those required true sacrifice on the part of your husband or wife.
Not everything works out just like it does in the movies. Don't model your expectations based on fiction...it's sure to disappoint.
God didn't promise you would be happy, and despite what society tells you, that's not what you deserve either. God promised you peace, sanctification, and joy when you pursue Him through marriage and more times than not those are found most intensely in the challenges. Happiness can come and go but holiness lasts forever.
"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up." -Joseph Barth

Marriage is more challenging than most people let on, but there are joys in it as well. No one but God experiences more of life with you than your spouse and with that comes understanding, love, equality, joy, and best of all the inside jokes :)!

A final note: From my Dad on our anniversary...He is longer married than I, definitely older and most likely wiser ;)

Marriage is good, but hard
Divorce is bad, and harder
Murder means jail and you will get caught. There is a reason they always look at the spouse first.

Love you, Andrew.

"In spite of it all...Hallelujah"

2011-01-11T15:07:00.002-06:00

It's cold and snowing outside today, I don't feel well, and I've let cold feet and snowflakes flying in my face--among other things--make me irritable.

The past year has been fraught with struggles and stress and I'm wrestling the weight of it into the new year.

And if the stress itself wasn't bad enough, I once heard that stress helps cause belly fat, which, on occasion, taunts me during particularly stressful days...Today's not a good day for belly fat, Adria. As I reach for the nearest chocolate something I respond, No, no it is not.

I have a tendency to push through life's disappointments and struggles up to a point and then I hit a wall and there's nothing positive in the whole world, and there I sit. Of course it isn't so, but I feel the burden of it none-the-less.

One thing I've come to love about the Psalms is that often in the writings of David a depth of grief and despair and anger flows freely. Yet, he always concludes with an assertion of God's goodness as he wills his heart to believe its truth.

This week two songs have been for me an assertion of God's goodness: Hope Now by Addison Road and Halleljah by Heather Williams.

Even now, my thoughts and feelings teeter on the edge of letting the frustration and exhaustion overwhelm. Life isn't easy. God never promised it would be. But I am trying to train my heart to sing:

"In spite of it all/your love stays the same/Hallelujah." (Hallelujah)

"Everything rides on faith now/when the world has broken me down/your love sets me free." (Hope Now)

There is freedom in God's unwavering love. That is all the goodness I need to walk through the troubles of life. Even that I do not deserve.

Hallelujah.

January Update

2011-01-11T13:58:00.000-06:00

January 1, 2011

Dear Team,

We hope the new year is treating each of you well! We are strengthened by your words of encouragement and prayers during this season of ministry. As some of you have probably heard through the media, St. Louis has again been announced as America’s most dangerous city. This is not the kind of recognition for being number one that we want!

Since receiving this distinction, our neighborhood has experienced a great deal of violence. Shootings are heard more than usual, and police officers have been shot at more frequently. Many of our neighbors are dealing with fear and grief because everyone knows someone who has been shot or otherwise involved in the violence.

I do not tell you this to receive pity. I tell you this because we are asking for extra prayer. Through all of the violence, God has still been opening doors to many more conversations and deepening of relationships with our neighbors. I finally feel like my neighbors fully trust us after moving into this house a little over a year ago. If we were not here during the rough times, that trust would take so much longer to develop. Praise the Lord that we serve a God who can take terrible situations and use them to build His Kingdom!

We are also asking that you will pray for more staff to join our team. The harvest is ripe, but we simply do not have enough staff to do as much as we would like to do. We are praying that God would send us people who have a passion and calling to live and serve in the inner city of St. Louis.

In all of the violence, I see the hurt and discouragement that our neighborhood is going through. It affects us all in various ways. But through it all God has been faithful to keep His promises. He always protects and provides for us. God has given us extra energy and wisdom to endure. We pray that God will start to develop godly men and women to take a stand for Him--that they will be serious about this relationship and be passionate about being a part of a church-planting movement right here in the inner city led by our neighbors! For only the church will true authentic change come to our city. Thank you for standing with us in this battle. The battle is His, and we feel honored to be on the front lines serving for Him!

Let’s take this city for God!

Andrew & Adria Medlen

December Update

2010-12-16T17:05:00.001-06:00

December 1, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

Days tick by like the second hand on a clock. Under scrutiny they mark their regular rhythm but as soon as you look away, caught up in life’s activities, the pace quickens until quite all of a sudden an hour has passed, or a week, or a month, or a year. Being fond of closure, in contemplative moments caught between barrages of activity I (Adria) like to think about closing out another year. I like to mentally tie up loose ends, finish outstanding projects, and feel like I saw progress in life and ministry that reflects a calendar year’s worth of time.

However, although God Himself created time, setting its internal workings to tick tock at just the right tempo, His eternal hand reaches all of time. He is not bound by time, nor is He concerned about finding closure in one year. His plan extends into eternity. This is both comforting and extremely frustrating for someone who likes to check things off a to-do list. So, what I would like to do—give you a nice and neat little summary of this year—I cannot. But what I can do is tell you the highs and the lows of this year and ask that you take a step back with me and put this year in the context of an eternal plan designed by our heavenly Father.

This year…

 God called us to pursue adoption. He began to teach us about our own spiritual adoption and to open our hearts to new ideas about family. We are still anxiously waiting to see how God will grow our family.

 As of June our staff now consists of 5 people. We are often over-extended and feel inadequate, yet God is teaching us to rely on Him and trust that He will bring more laborers.

 God provided 5 Summer Staff to run a wonderful program for 40 consistent kids!

 After four years of building relationships a family across the street finally brought their kids to participate in our Summer Program! God is working in their family. They have since married and are opening up to the idea of church in their lives.

 In October we were hit by three consecutive thefts that left us reeling with nearly $200,000 of damages. We are still working and waiting to see how God takes care of us.

It is easy to let each of the open-ended issues wave over me with anxiety, or to feel so tired that it is hard to focus on the goal. But, one of the comforts that the season of Advent brings to me is that we are in the hands of an eternal God, with an eternal plan, who knows first hand what it feels like to live inside the confines of the time He constructed. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6.

Andrew and I pray that this letter finds you all able to rest in the peace that we are offered through our Messiah, regardless of what our highs and lows were this year and what open-ended issues might linger into the new year. We are grateful to be walking this journey with each of you and your prayers and support are truly part of God’s provision to sustain us.

Rejoice, the Messiah is born!

Andrew and Adria Medlen

Offering

2010-12-13T19:27:00.000-06:00

The last few weeks left me feeling like I got sucked into a wind turbine and spit out on the other side all akimbo. As I arced through the air and landed in the middle of the busy street I'm left thinking, "What the heck just happened to me?!!" Friday night was our Hearts for the City Benefit Concert and Silent Auction...the climax of a very harried, and short, story plot. This weekend I had to close the book, take a deep breath (which looked like sleeping like the dead for hours at a time) before opening the pages tomorrow to find the resolution. There is much yet to be done and of course, Christmas is upon us, which for all it's promises of wonder and cheer often adds to my stress rather than releases it.

But, God is teaching me things and I am resolved to try to be at peace with that. I did manage to force myself not to open work emails this weekend and only rarely succumbed to the constant nagging list of follow-up tasks scrolling through my head. If you know me, you would be shocked at how often I just sat and told myself to think of nothing. And you know what? It felt rather relaxing.

In times of extreme insanity you are forced to prioritize. Improvise, adapt, and overcome...as it is said. There is a strange sense of empowerment in the realization that there is so much I am powerless to force into being...when I've done all I could do and the rest is up to the Lord. Now if I can take that knowledge into the less "life and death" moments I think there'd be a lot less stress in my life.

With my personality it is hard for me not to internalize my performance in tasks and roles as my identity and my worth. I wrestled at the concert feeling like everything was so perfect for an audience of hundreds, yet less than a hundred came. It smacked of failure and shame. But, at one point I paused my administrating and sat and listened to the song our performer, Mark Roach, was singing. He sang the chorus of his song "You Are"--"You are my God and my King/You are the words that I sing/You are the reason I made this offering."

It hit me that rather than sitting there thinking about the lack of attendance or what that said about my identity and capability I needed to rest in the fact that I gave everything I had and it wasn't really for anyone else but the Lord. I heard a quote once that "Duty is ours and results are the Lord's" and that's exactly what I felt the Lord spoke to me in that moment. We put on a beautiful event, we did raise some money, and some great people came...the amount of people and money was completely up to the Lord.

I struggle to hang on to that perspective in life. But, I want the Lord to continue to teach me to leave everything I have in what He's called me to do and take my pride and identity out of the results and put it in the faithfulness of my work to my King.

"You are my God and my King...You are the reason I made this offering."

The Calm Within the Storm

2010-11-16T22:24:00.001-06:00

Police lights are flashing through my dining room window and the buzz of a helicopter crescendos and decrescendos as it circles our block. When we drove up to our street an hour ago we saw police cars everywhere and the end of our block taped off and my heart sunk. I prayed, "Please, Lord, don't let it be one of the kids." I thought, after everything else going on, not this too. But, on the heels of that thought came another...even if...the Lord is your peace and you will get through.

Praise God what remains outside is the search for someone who led the police on a high speed chase and parked their car in front of our house. I am thankful that no one was injured. But the twin thoughts I had just before we discovered the real reason for the police presence struck home a message God has been speaking to me the last two days in particular.

We are in a tough season of ministry. The past few weeks have been overwhelming and it just doesn't seem to let up. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were not good days for me. If you know my personality you know I spend a lot of time in my head, which helps me do my best work, but in times of distress it can also overwhelm me with the negative implications of situations.

But the last two days the Lord keeps reminding me that my peace is not in my circumstances. If it was, I'm going to need a whole lot more chocolate in my life :). Yesterday God reminded me that even if I don't feel like it, His mercies are new each day and His strength is more than enough to get me through whatever comes my way. Then I heard a song on the radio. "Sometimes He Calms the Storm" is one of those songs that I normally cringe at when it comes on the radio...but the words said just what I needed to hear. Listen to it HERE. This is what it says....

All who sail the sea of faith /Find out before too long /How quickly blue skies can grow dark /And gentle winds grow strong.

Suddenly fear is like white water /Pounding on the soul /Still we sail on knowing /That our Lord is in control.

Sometimes He calms the storm /With a whispered peace be still /He can settle any sea /But it doesn't mean He will.

Sometimes He holds us close /And lets the wind and waves go wild /Sometimes He calms the storm /And other times He calms His child.

He has a reason for each trial /That we pass through in life /And though we're shaken /We cannot be pulled apart from Christ.

No matter how the driving rain beats down /On those who hold to faith /A heart of trust will always /Be a quiet peaceful place.

What a beautiful truth. We as Christians are offered a calm WITHIN the storm. Life keeps rolling on with all its challenges, but I must train my heart to acknowledge the "peace that passes all understanding"-a peace that knows that God can create beauty out of ashes. Tonight, in the chaos that was our street, we got a perfect opportunity to spend an hour with our neighbors, talking and building relationships.

Who knew sirens and police helicopters could bring thoughts of peace? Only God and those introduced to His abundant mercy. I'm glad I have been introduced, have you?

I Am Not in Control...and It Is Obvious

2010-11-11T20:02:00.003-06:00

I (Adria) am a shameless control freak, which makes life a bit bumpy.

It looks a little bit like this.
1) I make my plans.
2) I determine that I'm probably the only one I know that can accomplish my plans to perfection.
3) Life begins to do what life does--exactly what I don't want it to do.
4) I begin to freak out.
5) God points out the fact that I'm being a little egotistical.
6) I finally realize that I am not in control of the world.
7) I still freak out.
8) God has his own plans and accomplishes them perfectly.
9) I resolve to do better next time.
10) Repeat cycle.

Today I found myself covering steps 3, 4, and 5 in full force. This week we decided that we were going to put on a benefit concert and silent auction to help raise funds for the recent copper thefts. With $200,000 worth of damage and some recent media coverage we decided it would be best to start the process soon. So, with basically only Andrew and I in the office this week we (well, basically me) started planning. We have only until early next week to finalize the date, venue, and performers. Let's just say this has not been a smooth process and I've felt increasingly overwhelmed...thus number 3 and 4.

In addition to feeling like everything went wrong today, we had another thief get up on our roof this afternoon and had the police here AGAIN. Then the thief RETURNED about two hours later, and long story short, there were a few minutes involving him, Andrew and myself that were scary enough that I got a little perspective...about when number 5 kicked in.

Will it really be the end of the world if my plans fall through? Am I willing to trust that God has got things under control...even if that means breaking down my plans for His own? So, I'm sitting here, exhausted from the adrenaline let down, listening to about 30 guys play basketball in the gym and two very energetic boys playing horse and cowboy around the lobby and I'm just grateful that God is God and I am not. I think I'm going to go home tonight and try to rest in the knowledge of number 8 while I commit myself to number 9. And maybe, just maybe, I can avoid number 10.

November Update

2010-11-04T13:55:00.002-05:00

November 1, 2010

Dear Team,

Greetings from St. Louis! Being a part of World Impact and serving in St. Louis is such a delight. Adria and I both feel very blessed to be doing something that we are called to do and that contributes to God’s plan for this city.

We do not take the fact lightly that you send us out with your prayers and faithful support. So, as we celebrate this season of Thanksgiving, this letter is written with each of you in mind. We look over our list of supporters, and it never ceases to humble us. We are so grateful to be partnered with such wonderful people as God has laid on your heart (as He has on ours) the unchurched urban poor of the inner-city.

On our ministry team are friends that have faithfully supported us for years, even when it has been a great financial sacrifice to do so. We have family members who have never missed even a month of support and who pray for us daily. What a loving and giving family we both have! We have people who have joined our ministry team after hearing us speak about World Impact at their church or who have come to serve with us for an event or program, all of whom are now joined with us as new friends and family through our now shared journey in Christ! We have several wonderful and generous church communities who are passionate about reaching the lost and who partner with us to do just that here in North St. Louis.

While in the city, God has taught Adria and me a great deal about community. The inner city is a place where it is necessary to depend on the support of those you love and trust and sometimes those whom God providentially sends your way in a time of need. Many of our neighbors and friends here have modeled this connectedness for us and given us a clearer picture of what living as the Body of Christ is supposed to be. Your partnership has also taught us this reality, in that we cannot separate our calling to serve from your calling to send! Praise God for His Church!

So, as you gather with friends and family this Thanksgiving, know that we are praising God for you and your faithful partnership with us and for the work God is doing. Also, know that you are always welcome to come and visit. You are an important part of our lives, and we would love to share it with you first hand. May God, in His great abundance and grace, continue to strengthen, guide, and bless you richly!

Grace and peace,

Andrew and Adria Medlen

The Week that Felt Like a Year

2010-11-02T21:01:00.001-05:00

Since last Tuesday we were robbed three times, conducted five stake outs, dealt with police, became our own publicists, did four tv news interviews, set up and hosted a Fall Fest for over 200 people, continued networking to start raising funds for the thefts, and all of this on top of our usual weekly tasks! We are all exhausted.

The highlight of the week was Sunday evening's Fall Fest.

Everyone enjoyed the maze constructed out of refrigerator boxes in our gym and then chili dogs!

Andrew wore this wig...these kids have the same reaction we all did.

Well...maybe that falls in line second to sleeping at night. Did I mention we're all exhausted?

IF that photo wasn't enough of Andrew's hair, check this out: WORLD IMPACT'S FALL FEST ON TV!

Stake Out

2010-10-28T21:46:00.001-05:00

So, if you haven't already heard, World Impact has been hit three, yes three, times by copper thieves! This week ahs been quite a week. Tuesday we discovered that someone had stripped copper out of the air conditioning units and other wiring on our roof. Wednesday, when showing our contruction committee the damage we discovered that we had been hit again overnight! We also discovered that along with completely demolished air conditioning units they had cut the major power line to our large multi-purpose room and kitchen. We are trying to get this fixed ASAP because we are supposed to have a Fall Festival here on Sunday night for an estimated 200-250 people.

Estimates for the damage are approaching $200,000. With most of the units destroyed and more damage being done we decided that we had to take action. The guys on staff decided that they needed to stake out overnight to try and catch the guys in action. Despite some ideas that involved paintballs, shotguns, ninjas, smoke bombs, among other things, they decided on installing several drivway sensors that sounded a remote alarm and Andrew took the first night's watch (on his birthday eve--Happy Birthday!). With one of the sensors facing the alley he was up every hour as alley cats and random passersby, but at 5:20am the alarm sounded and this time 3 guys were here to do more damage. Andrew called the police and called another staff member to come up. The police arrived within a few minutes but the thieves had already gotten on the roof and started in on another unit. When the cops arrived they were tipped off and ran off down the alley uncaught.

We were dissappointed but, at least they know that we are aware and that we have security...even if it is a staff member sleeping on a mat in the gym with a motion detecor :). Randy's sleeping here tonight and Andrew the next night until we are sure they're not coming back or are caught. Now comes the real work. It has been a devastating financial blow for our ministry. Sometimes it's hard not to feel like nothing goes our way! It's hard to work and strive and watch things fall apart.

However, we are convinced that God is in complete control and He WILL provide all our needs. We don't yet know how but He will make a way for us to raise the money. We read a passage in church today about Paul that encouraged me.

2 Timothy 4:6-8, 16-18 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

We are praying for those men that they will encounter God's saving grace. We are praying in confidence that God will provide for our needs for He stands by our sides and give us strength.

If you want to help by supporting financially you can donate here.

Don't Worry We're Certified

2010-10-24T20:40:00.001-05:00

Saturday we had to attend a First Aid and CPR training course as soon-to-be foster/adoptive parents. Only one of us had to be certified but neither of us wanted to offer to go solo to practice bandaging open wounds and kissing CPR dummies. So we went and crossed off another to-do item on our licensing list.

It's hard to believe that we started on this process 8 months ago. Since then we've had 11 weeks of classes, multiple home-studies, pages and pages of written applications, multiple background checks, and now First Aid and CPR training. All the while it's seemed like the end date is way off in the future but we're one Missouri Child Abuse and Neglect screening away from a license and the reality is setting in that we are about to be parents. We're about to put all these certifications and licenses to the test and somehow they feel as thin as a tissue paper shield between us and what's to come.

The waiting has gone from an active wait, in which we were able to check things off our to-do list, to waiting that is filled with helpless...waiting. That's frustrating for someone like me who wants to set a goal and accomplish it. But, I am trying to trust that God's timing is perfect. I read a quote somewhere that "God is never late, but He passes up a few good opportunities to be early." It's in the waiting that our faith is built and in the exactness of His timing that it is affirmed. Yet during the waiting is when the worries hit. I worry about whether we will know which placement to take, I worry that we can't have our kids' room completed because we don't know any specifics about a child, I worry about school if we get a school-aged child.

But even more than the worry, I am anxious to get going. I tend to put off making a decision until I absolutely have to, but once I make a decision I want it to happen immediately...I'm not super patient. In the mean time I've tried to embrace every opportunity and resource that we've been offered (or forced into) to make us Certified Parents! Or is that certifiable? I guess we'll soon find out! But whatever happens you can rest assured that we are now endorsed by The Red Cross to be valuable in a crisis! We're anxiously awaiting the impact this is sure to have on our social life.

I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request. 1 Samuel 1:27

October Update

2010-10-20T11:02:00.004-05:00

In case you hadn't heard...

I (Adria) both love and hate the way that God often works so unexpectedly in our lives. The result is always beautiful but the process, especially for a planner like myself, can be excruciatingly uncomfortable. I suppose that is because at the heart of the matter I think that my plans are better than God’s, but they never are.

God has been writing many unexpected plot twists into our story this year, which has been thrilling and exhausting and often life-changing. Probably the most life-changing plot twist involves God leading us into the world of foster care and adoption. Adoption is not a new desire for us but the timing has most certainly been unexpected. To be honest, we always planned to look into adoption after having started a family; however, early this year God made it very clear to us that He wanted us to start a family through adoption.

In February of this year we attended an event where we were shocked by a statistic shared by a local ministry that recruits families to participate in foster care and adoption. In St. Louis, they said, there are about 800 children waiting to be adopted and there are over 800 Baptist churches alone. If one family from each church adopted a child there would be a waiting list to adopt children rather than a waiting list full of children. We felt a call to be a small part of the solution to this problem. In June we started our foster and adoption training and home studies, concluding the licensing process in September.
God has blown us away with the process this year. Not only did He bless us with wonderful, Godly trainers and a great Licensing Worker, He stretched us far outside our comfort zones and began to redefine our understanding of family in light of His family. Part of that process came through reading Adopted for Life by Russell Moore. This book examines our own adoption into the Kingdom of God and what should be true about the church as a result. This is not a book only for people interested in adoption, but it has also been a remarkable resource for us as we begin to see adoption in our family as a manifestation of our adoption into God’s family.

God also opened our hearts to the foster care process, as well as the concept of a more “open” family. Because we feel the best fit for our family right now would be a child under the age of six we have had to open ourselves to the process of foster care as a route by which God might bring about an adoption (many of the younger children have yet to have their parental rights terminated). God has also used our current ministry as confirmation of this pursuit, as we feel that He has already tuned our hearts to see and understand many of the challenges children in foster care face as we have served here in the city.

Currently we are waiting. The planner in me likes to point out all the uncertainties ahead. We do not know whether we will be fostering or adopting or both, whether we will get a two-year-old or a six-year-old, a boy or a girl, or even if we will have one or two children! But, God has continued to be faithful and give us peace as we wait. We would ask that you join us in praying for this process: for our child or children, for us as first-time parents, and for the many beautiful challenges ahead for our family. We are so excited to continue to share with each of you the journey God has us on, and we thank Him for each one of you!
For His Glory, Andrew & Adria Medlen

September Update

2010-10-20T10:59:00.001-05:00

September 1, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

Greetings in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! I (Andrew) am writing this letter to you with much excitement as I share this great camp story with you. A few weeks ago one of our summer staff named Rob and I took three junior high guys to camp in Florence, Kansas. The camp at World Impact’s Morning Star Ranch is a yearly highlight for our kids, as many have never been out of the city of St. Louis.

Throughout all of the activities and chapel times, God was working in these young men’s lives. Being around other Christians and away from your daily pressures can really help someone start to let their guard down. One of the guys that I have been working to get to know all summer long is a guy by the name of Darren. He is athletic and handsome, and quite popular with the kids in our program. Early in the summer I doubted whether or not he would come all summer because he tended to give the impression that he was “too cool.”

But, the week of Junior High camp came and Darren had actually earned his way! Camp is a reward trip that the youth are able to earn by attendance, good behavior, and by saying a weekly memory verse. Darren, to my surprise, did these three things and he earned a spot to

go to camp. While at camp, I witnessed Darren’s whole demeanor change. He started hanging out with youth from other cities and was developing friends very quickly. In chapel times, he would sometimes sing and I could tell he was listening to the Pastor. After one of the chapel times, I asked Darren if he was a Christian. He said that he was really thinking about it and he seemed very interested. I told him to pray about this very important decision and I told him that I would be praying for him too.

At the end of the week I asked him this same question again. He said he was interested but still was not ready to give his life to Christ just yet. Yes, I was disappointed but knowing Darren’s reserved nature, made me impressed with his honesty. He was not just taking this decision lightly and was not going to say yes just to impress me.

Camp wore the three boys out and the slept most of the seven hours home, but after we stopped for dinner they were wide awake and I put on some worship music in the car. About ten minutes before we got home, a song came on that they learned during the week of camp. The song is called “Inside Out.” You may have sung this song at Church at some point, but I guarantee you have never heard it like I did that day in our car. These three young, inner-city youth were singing these words at the top of their lungs: “Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades, Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame, and the cry of my heart is to bring You praise, from the inside out, O my soul cries out!”

Those five minutes during that song were the highlight of my entire camp trip. These three guys singing this amazing song encouraged and reminded me that God is at work in a mighty way in our youth. Thank you for your continued prayer and financial support! Please keep praying for Darren and the other families that we work with. Truly His light will shine when all else fades and His glory goes beyond all fame!

Grace & Peace, Andrew & Adria Medlen

August Update

2010-10-20T10:55:00.000-05:00

August 1, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

Sometimes in ministry it feels like we can go days and weeks, even months, without anyone we have invested in showing signs of growth. Too often we have to watch with tears and prayers as people we love repeatedly make decisions that can only end in disaster. But then, occasionally, God allows us a glimpse of the work He is doing on the inside of that person and there is great hope in those moments.

Andrew has known James for a long time and has shared some of his story in previous letters. Having been involved with World Impact since he was a young teen, James, now 24, accepted Christ over a year ago. As Andrew’s wife it has been great to be able to participate in their relationship. Many days he will walk up to the Ministry Center and make his first stop at Andrew’s office and then head downstairs to sit in my office and talk about life and writing. We connected over our love of writing and he occasionally brings in pieces he is working on for my feedback. He knows that along with my literary feedback come my opinions about his relationships and life decisions.

Since James accepted Christ he has struggled with giving his life fully to the Lord. Despite our attempts to draw him in to a Christian body, he has spent much of the last year tentatively stepping back and forth between his old life and a life in pursuit of God. Lately, Jason Watson, a Christian rapper who grew up here in North St. Louis and our fellow staff member, has also taken James under his wing. James’ poor opinion of Christian rap began to change when he got to be an extra in one of Jason’s newest music videos and seeing godly men who share his passion for words and music has seemed to spark a deeper interest in James.

One afternoon recently James made his way down to my office to talk. He shared about a possible job opportunity several hours away. This led to a discussion about his future, and about his past, and about the fact that he was tired of the aimless pattern of his life. I asked him what he would like to see himself doing. “Become a lawyer” was his answer; “but no one takes me seriously when I say that.” We talked about what it would take to pursue a degree in law, but mostly I talked to him about a life wasted when it is not in pursuit of the plan God has for us. Two days later he returned for my edits on his latest poem and told us that he had just signed up for Fall classes at a local college (I tried to act proud in a cool and reserved way instead of gushing with excitement like I wanted to do).

We are encouraging him to begin walking out on faith and to prayerfully consider the direction God has for him. My hope is that with each step James will gain confidence in the gifts and talents God has given him and that he will become more and more burdened to use them for God’s Kingdom. Please pray for James. Because of his life experiences it is difficult for him to trust people and to push through the hardest times. Pray that James finds excitement about what his future may hold and that God would give him the wisdom and strength to make each decision along the way. Pray for the financial resources and the educational support that will be needed for him to pursue his education. And most importantly, pray that James will fully commit to living in the encouragement and accountability of Christian community. As always, thank you for your continued support and prayers!

For His Kingdom,
Andrew and Adria Medlen

July Update

2010-07-05T09:38:00.001-05:00

July 1, 2010

Dear Team,

Hello from St. Louis! This has been a busy time for Adria and me. Summer is always a time where many great things happen. The warmer weather brings some wonderful opportunities but can also bring extra challenges.

Currently we are right in the middle of our Children’s Summer Program. We have five summer staff who have chosen to serve with us at World Impact and are assisting us in running our six-week program with the first-through-eighth-grade students. Their service has been an answer to prayer during a time when our full-time staff is limited. Our Summer Program is full of opportunities to build relationships and present the Gospel. Please continue to pray that we represent Christ in a way that is pure and attractive. We have had many good conversations with children and youth in the program, and we are continuing to develop stronger relationships with our neighbors. Times when we have had them over for a meal or to hang out on our porch to talk have really given us a sense of belonging in our neighborhood. More and more we are no longer considered guests that might leave--we are neighbors!

However, I (Andrew) was recently reminded that it is still important that we live our commitment to these neighbors on a daily basis. During a recent Adult Basketball Outreach, one of our interns made the announcement that his time with us was coming to an end and that he would be leaving. Right away the guy sitting next to me said, “What is the deal? Does everyone leave?” He looked at me to hear my response, waiting to see if I was to be the next to leave. I reassured him that we did not have plans to leave.

One thing that Adria and I feel very sure of is the calling that God has given us. We always say that we are here in St. Louis until and unless God calls us elsewhere. It is difficult to see the amount of staff and interns who have come and gone during our time here, and I know that takes its toll on our neighbors; but we also know that God is sovereign. It is pretty amazing to think that I am starting my tenth year with World Impact, and Adria her fourth. It is even more amazing to think that some of you have been partnering with me since the very beginning. You have sent Adria and me to be the hands and feet of Jesus right here in North St. Louis.

Please pray for us. We need an outpouring of the Holy Spirit in our community. We want the call of salvation to be fleshed out. Please pray for God to send us long-term missionaries. Thank you for your love, your prayers, and your financial support. May the Lord richly encourage you and bless you!

Grace and Peace to you, Andrew and Adria Medlen

A Little Way You Can Make a Difference...

2010-06-02T16:14:00.002-05:00

I'm excited to announce that we have launched a NEW online store at Cafe Press in an effort to help raise funds for our ministry! We now carry World Impact St. Louis t-shirts, mugs, stickers, buttons, and more with really unique urban designs!

A portion of the purchase price is donated to our ministry! So, in a very real way, when you order "A Heart For The City" t-shirt for you and a friend you are helping us share the love of Christ with people like James, who recently came to know Jesus and is steadily learning to turn away from the drugs and violence that dominated his life and cling to the future that God has for him!

Thank you for impacting our city by visiting our online store at www.cafepress.com/worldimpactstl!

June Update

2010-06-02T16:10:00.001-05:00

Dear Family and Friends,

With each year that goes by I (Adria) find myself squinting a little bit more, trying to make the dancing blur of letters sit down on the page. The fine lines around my eyes are becoming not so fine in my strain to make street signs be forthright with their names. It might be time for glasses.

Physically, age makes it more difficult to see things. I am finding, however, that the opposite is true spiritually. And, I am also finding how vital this is to our lives as missionaries. Pastor Rob Bell said that “being a good missionary means having really good eyesight. You see God where others don’t and then you point him out.” Now, before you go thinking that we have super-spiritual missionary eyes I will tell you that often we have to spend time pointing God out to ourselves too! It is not always easy in such a fallen world to see the gentle workings of God—the large and miraculous ones, yeah, but the subtle weaving of the larger tapestry is a lot more difficult to see. Yet each thread purposefully weaved is a stunning victory. It is these victories that carry us through and that draw hearts to God!

Several weeks ago a tall, broad-shouldered young man walked through the doors during our adult basketball program to use the restroom. His face looked more like a man’s than a boy’s but still reassuringly familiar. I could hardly suppress my joy as I asked him, “Is that you, Jamond?”

For several years I have thought of him and prayed for him and worried that he might be in a juvenile detention center or worse. Much like many of the people we work with, Jamond used to live in our neighborhood and occasionally participated in our programs and then one day he was gone. He had moved, but we did not know to where. His story has troubled me for years. Even at thirteen he was mostly on his own, hardened to the world and submitting himself to the company of men who would not mentor him in godly activities. Destructive behavior was chief among his known attributes. Even still, all I could ever see when I looked at him was a scared and scarred boy beating back the terrifying world that threatened to snuff him out. He had held us at arms length and then he was gone.

Yet here he was, standing in the lobby of World Impact! Since that night I have only seen him twice, but he is in the area and had remembered World Impact as a place he could enter and he now knows that we remember him by name. His reappearance is seemingly insignificant, but for those of us who know the loving hand of God weaving together His plans and purposes, there is joy and hope in it. Recently God has sent us several of these reuniting moments with youth and young adults we thought had slipped away from us. I see the Lord reminding me that not all doors I think are closed and bolted shut will remain that way. I think He must lovingly shake His head and say to me, “Do you think that you are the only one who remembers them by name?” And so, I will fervently pray that the Lord give us these young souls and ask the Spirit to sharpen my eyesight so that I may be ready to see God work and to point it out to others!

Prayerfully, with hope and vigilance,

Andrew and Adria Medlen

May Update...

2010-05-20T14:56:00.000-05:00

May 1, 2010
Dear Team,

Greetings! I hope this letter finds you each doing very well! During our spring break program, we had the opportunity to work with 40 1st-8th grade children and youth. Yes, there is a reason I am getting a head of gray hair rather quickly these days!

We had a great time. 23 college students from Denton Texas partnered with us to run the program that week. They were such a blessing, as our small staff could not have run the excellent program we did without their help. A big shout out and thanks to you if you helped us out that week!

One of the highlights of that week for me was that each day we learned more about the life of Peter from the Bible. Many times I think Christians look at Peter and only remember the time that he denied Christ. It was really good to look at him as the man of God that he was through Christ—the first church planter who helped win thousands to Christ.

Last year we averaged 25 youth during our spring break program. This year we averaged about 40 youth and had a high of 45 one day! Many old families and some new joined us and were already asking when our summer program would be starting. This year we have six summer staff coming for the entire summer; we usually have one or two. I believe that we may have more families than usual involved in our program and we are excited to see what God will do as a result of the extra help this summer. God always gives us exactly what we need.

Please be praying for Adria and I as we help lead the summer staff and the summer program. Since the spring break program, we have been building so many good and new relationships with our neighbors. There is hardly a day that goes by when we do not hang out on our porch with kids from our block. We are requesting you to intercede daily for us this summer. We ask that you would pray for His strength to keep us going strong. Pray that our neighbors would see the reflection of Christ in us. Pray that salvation would be accepted by the youth and their families during our program. Pray for safety in all that we do. And last, pray for our marriage that we would strive to keep Him first and continue to grow as a Godly couple.

We would love to hear from you. If you are ever in town, please let us know as we would love to show you around and catch a bite to eat. If you have not been to our blog lately, check it out at www.themedlens.blogspot.com. Thank you for partnering with us and may Christ be glorified in a mighty way!

Grace & Peace,
Andrew & Adria Medlen

Yet, Hope Remains

2010-04-14T15:01:00.003-05:00

Sometimes the weight of it presses down on me and I seem not able to move. I want to cry, to rage, to beat back the hands that have wrapped deceiving fingers around vulnerable necks. Anger, sadness, and confusion tie knots in my mind as I watch what would seem to be another’s demise. Slipping, ever tripping, they do not see the one hard after them, haunting their souls and bloodying their knees.

No matter how hard I run I cannot take hold of them or drag them back to safety. I feel helpless, standing here ringing my hands, wide-eyed and heavy-hearted. I open my mouth to persuade their return but the words are swallowed in the clamor around me.

“O, God. Do something. DO something.”

I cannot reason with this kind of deception. They have embraced a hideous, snarling thing but stroke it with a smile that sees a charming face.

“O, God; O, God. Do something.”

And yet I know something has already been done. THE something has been accomplished so that truth might bring freedom and love might reconcile the lost. And with that thought I become angry—angry at the deceiver, angry at the deceived, angry at the Healer. Why must this cycle repeat? Why must I stand and watch as these beloved come in thirst to the Living Water and drink, only to be lured away by the hand that binds them?

“O, God, where are You?”

My anger is merely a diverting flare meant to absorb the impact of this missile instead of my hurt and wondering heart. I feel rejection like Samuel when the Israelites refused his prophesies and demanded their own king. The Lord whispers in my ear the same response, “It is not you they are rejecting. It is me they refuse.”

The anger recedes and is replaced with a solemn burden. My heart feels broken. Again I hear the Lord, “How much more does their Father care for them than you?” In this is my only solace.

I am at the end of myself and I do not understand, yet the promises of God remain. He has begun the good work of redeeming their wounded hearts and He will carry it on to glorious completion. He will. I must believe that He will. In this is my only hope.

Tempted to pick myself up and endlessly run back into the fray, I think it best that I sit awhile under His grace and find rest in place of weariness and hope rather than despair. Earnestly I will lay this worrisome battle at the feet of our Rescuer, for in Him and not in myself there is certain hope for healing, redemption, love.

O, Heart, victory is coming!

Remedy
by the David Crowder Band
Here we are/ Here we are/ The broken and used/ Mistreated, abused/ Here we are

Here You are/ Here You are / The beautiful one/ Who came like a Son/ Here You are

So we lift up our voices/ We open our hands/ To cling to the love/ That we can’t comprehend

Oh, lift up your voices/ And lift up your heads/ To sing of the love/ That has freed us from sin

He is the one/ Who has saved us/ He is the one/ Who embraced us/ He is the one who has come / And is coming again/ He’s the remedy

Here we are/ Here we are/ Bandaged and bruised/ Awaiting a cure/ Here we are

Here You are / Here You are/ Our beautiful King/ Bringing relief/ Here You are with us

So we lift up our voices/ And open our hands/ Let go of the things/ That have kept us from Him

He is the one/ Who has saved us/ He is the one/ Who forgave us/ He is the one who has come/ And is coming again/ He’s the remedy

Oh, I can’t comprehend/ I can’t take it all in/ Never understand/ Such perfect love come For the broken and beat/ For the wounded and weak/ Oh, come fall at His feet/ He’s the remedy/ He’s the remedy

He is the one who has saved us/ He is the one who forgave us/ He is the one who has come/ and is coming again

He's the remedy/ he's the remedy/ He's the remedy/ He's the remedy/ So sing, sing

You are the one/ Who has saved us/ You are the one/ Who forgave us/ You are the one who has come/ And is coming again/ To make it alright/ Oh, to make it alright/ You’re the remedy/ Oh, in us/ You’re the remedy/ Oh, You're in us/ Your the remedy

Let us be the remedy/ Let us be the remedy/ Let us bring the remedy.

It's Been Awhile

2010-03-30T19:44:00.000-05:00

I always have great intentions to blog regularly and then two months goes by. We have been swept up in a whirlwind of activity these past few months, but some great things have been happening. The weather is getting warmer and our neighborhood looks alive again. With so many people back out on thier porches we are loving the opportunities to build relationships on our block (which still feels new even though we've been here since October).

We had our annual Spring Break Program March 15-19 and it exceeded our expectations. I (Adria) was coordinating the week and had bought only 50 t-shirts for the kids attending, because we rarely get over 30 kdis on average. I was a little nervous come Thursday when we did our group picture because we had averaged over 40 each day! On picture day we had 45 students and 23 volunteers!! Here are a few photos from the week.

Then, right after Spring Break Mom and I (Adria) took off for Indiana to see Amber and my little 2 week old "nephew" Blake! He is a cutie, but by the time we got home late the following Wednesday I needed a 24hr nap!

But the activities were far from over...I found out that Laniecha was getting baptized and so Andrew and I got to go see Laniecha make this important step in her walk with Christ. I pray that it is something she is serious about pursuing.

What Crab Fishing Has To Do With Inner-City Missions Part I

2010-01-31T15:51:00.002-06:00

It’s a funny show to get hooked on, but Andrew and I can’t get enough of the “Deadliest Catch.” Usually aired on the Discovery Channel (we don’t have cable) we get to watch old seasons through our Netflix subscription (thanks Mom and Dad), which, I must admit, occasionally results in several-hour marathons watching sailors with colorful personalities haul crab out of the ocean. It seems like an odd obsession for two inner-city missionaries, but recently while watching one of our King Crab Marathons I felt a strange kinship to their experiences.

Every episode I watch I think, you could not pay me enough to work on a boat in the middle of the Bering Sea hauling hundreds of thousands of pounds of crab out of the water 30 hours at a time. No way. But the guys doing it love it. I heard one captain refer to their work as a calling. Many come seeking the good money (an average season of a several weeks makes the crew about $30,000 each) but few make it a living. The physical and mental demands of long hours and hard labor drive many off the waters. It’s not uncommon to watch a “Greenhorn” (as the newbies on the boat are called) crack 20 hours into their first “grind,” leave the boat when back in harbor, and never be seen on the crab boats again.

For those of you who are not avid watchers of “Deadliest Catch” and are not yourselves Crab Fishermen, let me set the stage for you a bit. The Alaskan Crab Fishing Season runs from about October to January, but it is broken up into different species of crab seasons that are usually a couple months long a piece. Some crab fishermen only fish certain seasons, but many of the seasoned crew and boat owners also fish other things and are then gone from their families (who often live in other U.S. states than Alaska) most of 6-8 months at a time. Most crab fishing boats (at least the ones on the show—because that’s the extent of my knowledge of this field :) have about 5-7 crew members. They chart a course in the Bering Sea and drop big crab-catching cages called “pots” into the ocean through the use of hydraulic cranes and brute strength. The entire season includes them setting and hauling these pots until they catch their quota of crab poundage—which sounds WAY easier than the work really is.

At this point you’re probably saying, OK, Adria, but this still has nothing to do with Inner-City Missions—I’m getting to that part. As I sat and watched these men do what they love to do I could not help but identify with what that one captain referred to as their life calling. Andrew and I have seen many inner-city workers come and go and every single one that makes it in the city says it is their calling that tethers them to this place. There are breaking days where even the seasoned deckhands on these crab boats reach the end of themselves and feel almost too tired to go on, but in the end they are fixed to the ship by their love for their work and the surety that they are doing exactly what they are suited for. Most experienced inner-city missionaries I know say they must write down the calling God has laid on them as a place to revisit on those breaking days and it is that calling that fixes them to the city.

You might think that with all this talk of calling and of being part of an elite team of naturally suited guys, that there would be an air of superiority about them. They make a lot of money for doing manual labor, they sacrifice a lot to make that money, and there are hundreds of guys who don’t make it out there. Yet, most often you hear them say that they are so lucky and grateful to be doing what they do. They don’t despise those guys who don’t make it on the Bering Sea, unless they don’t make it because they’re not willing to work hard. The captains and crew share that they couldn’t imagine doing anything else, even if they know it’s kind of a crazy profession. Occasionally when we as inner-city missionaries go to missions fairs and visit churches to do support raising, people comment on the nature of our work. They kindly hold our hands and self-deprecatingly esteem our calling over theirs. Although they mean nothing but encouragement it often makes me uncomfortable. Knowing myself like I do, I’m certainly not the saint imagined by this well-meaning church member. All I know is that if you feel that by working in the city you’re doing what you feel suited to do then, like the crab fishermen, you’re just doing your job and grateful to do it.

The show quickly draws you into the stories of these men and their mission on the sea. Sometimes while watching the show I catch myself almost holding my breath, tense with the anticipation of each boat’s imminent success or failure. As they haul each pot out of the ocean it feels like I’m leaning forward with the crew as they wait for the top of the pot to appear over the rail, hoping to see it full of crab. When the boats set their strings of pots, often they have to blindly lay sets to locate good fishing waters. It can be disheartening for the crew when they spend several days setting and hauling pots only to have a handful of crabs to show for their hours of labor. Then other times, as the pot clears the side rail, cheers of victory erupt from the crew at the sight of a pot full of thousands of dollars worth of crab. I find myself empathizing with this process, identifying it with the process of working with people when the investment is so high but the results just seem so meager. But then there are those times that you labor and cry and come so close to giving up and then God does an amazing work in someone’s life and the joy buoys your spirits with hope and gladness.

Inner-city work is much like crab fishing; it’s a high stakes, high rewards lifestyle. For us there isn’t a $30,000-$50,000 paycheck awaiting us every few months, but there is the knowledge that God’s Kingdom is presently advancing in the lives of people in the city. That is true reward indeed, and in the end all the work and all the struggle is worth the joy of watching God’s plan for the city unfold. But it’s not for the timid, for the faint-of-heart, or for those who aren’t ready to commit all their loyalty and all their strength to sail midst the storm and put faith in The Captain to navigate the waters.

The Harvest is Plentiful...the Workers are Few and Wornout

2010-01-19T11:32:00.001-06:00

Inner-city ministry is long, hard work. Don't get me wrong, there isn't anything else I would want to be doing and there is such joy in uncovering the glory of God in a place where people often say it doesn't exist. The city is full of beauty and joy if you look for it. Yet, I think people see movies like "Freedom Writers" or "Lean on Me" or the like and think that it is the usual reality to work long hours and see an equal or more abundant return for your labor. That is not the nature of inner-city work. You can't do inner-city work if you aren't dedicated and able to see very, very small incremental progress as success.

Andrew and I just found out that a couple who has also been doing inner-city church planting in North St. Louis for ten years is leaving the city. I don't know the couple very well, but we occasionally partner with them and always see each other at local missions fairs. Although they are not with World Impact, it's always been somewhat reassuring to know that they are out there striving for the same goal in the same city. This announcement has come on the heels of a long list of people leaving inner-city St. Louis. The reality is that the average inner-city worker lasts 1.5 years. I don’t know if that speaks to the nature of the work or the ideology and expectations people bring to the work or both, but that’s the reality.

Although I don’t know this particular couple well, their leaving hit me in the gut. Every time someone leaves I question: Does no one have the ability to see it through? Will I be one of these stories one day? How can the harvest be so plentiful and the workers always be leaving?

One of the things that helps me in these times is the community I have with World Impact. I love that within World Impact nationally there are people on staff who have dedicated their lives to the inner-city…20, 30, 40 years of self-sacrificing work. I have so much respect for and am encouraged by these people who have committed themselves through good times and bad, through burnout and joy, through successful church plants and times of no response, and have lived and raised their children in the city. There are faithful workers who can go the distance—albeit only through the continual submission of their lives to the grace and power of God.

This is a topic I’ve been thinking a lot about as of late. Just yesterday I was at a family’s house in the community and they were asking about past staff. The young girl made the comment that “Every body leaves.” I couldn’t necessarily correct her because very soon, Andrew and I will be the only ones left on staff that she has had any connection with. That both breaks my heart and hardens my resolve to commitment.

There is such a harvest here if you have the eyes to see. God is building His kingdom even in the midst of human failures. I’ve heard it said that we live in an upside-down Kingdom…the Gospel flips our earthy views on their heads. There’s no place better to experience this than in the city. We’ve got to check our worldly expectations at the door and respond with faithfulness and dedication and let God reap the Harvest He sees fit. Although I have only been here 4 years, I’ve learned some pretty big lessons:

• If God calls you to the city you have to write down that calling, make it your Ebenezer. You’ve got to know God called you and be able to revisit that calling when times get hard.
• Camaraderie is key. If you aren’t willing to hold onto the people who God has given you as co-laborers and pour into them then you will eventually feel too alone in the battle. It can still get lonely and isolating but it is the knowledge that there are others laboring faithfully for God’s Kingdom that encourages you on.
• We all come in with grandiose ideas about our impact on the city. I have to continually purge those for the reality that all I’m responsible for is to labor faithfully where God calls me to work…the rest is up to Him.
• God is always faithful. It doesn’t always look the way I’d like it to but God’s provision is sovereign and He can and does transform lives in the city!!
• It is through long-term commitment to the city that an impact is made. This is not to say that people cannot serve the city well for a short time or that God does not call people on to other places to work (none of us knows what God has for our futures—He may yet call Andrew and I somewhere else one day) but being able to commit yourself until the day that God calls you on is so important.
• You’re going to get tired; there will be a time (or times) when you feel burnt out and it is here when you most understand and cherish God’s faithfulness and the greater body of Christ. I have come to understand the church on a very basic level…it is our life-line while here on earth. We must cherish the Body of Christ and cultivate it on a daily basis.

Praise God that His work in the city is bigger than us. He can still accomplish His work and bring new people to the city to labor for the harvest. We pray for this. This is our hope on stormy days.

December Happenings

2010-01-04T16:20:00.003-06:00

Although out of chronological order from our January Update, I wanted to share some of the exciting things that happened in December (time is just moving too quickly for me to keep up!)! It was a whirlwind month of ministry, activity, family, and even though there was rarely time enough to pause and reflect, there was much to reflect upon!

The beginning of December was filled with a lot of sewing for me (Adria), one of my new-found hobbies. I made purses for most of the women in my life as Christmas presents because I fancy myself original and thoughtful in gift giving...but really I'm just CHEAP!! :) Well, maybe I could be all of the above??

I also got to visit my good friend Amber in Fort Wayne, Indiana, for her baby shower and help decorate her baby room! We put a decal on the baby's wall with the verse in James that says "Every good and perfect gift comes from above." I love that little Blake will come into the world knowing he is a gift from God. Pray for his arrival coming in March!

Mid December brought about a long-awaited and celebrated day: Bruce graduated from college! Bruce grew up a block from World Impact and has known Andrew for many years. Andrew mentored him in high school and he was a graduate of World Impact's L.I.T. (Leadership In Training) program for high schoolers. It was so special to share in his day of celebration and to see what a solid young man of God he is! He is now in the process of applying for med school so keep him in your prayers as he still has a long road ahead of him!

Then we had the privilege of sharing Christmas with Stephon in Kansas. Stephon was a part of Bridge of Hope's youth group and has also known Andrew for many years. He is now attending college at Missouri University in Columbia, Missouri, about two hours from us. We picked him up on our way out to Andrew's parents' house in Topeka, Kansas, and he spent the week with us. It is a joy to spend time with this young man who exudes such resiliance and joy even in the face of the trials he has experienced. Continue to pray for him as he goes to college and grows in mind and spirit!

Then came Urbana 09! The largest missions conference in North America (with over 15,000 students) held here in St. Louis between Christmas and New Years! Our St. Louis staff were the point people for our National booth at the conference and Andrew was one of our representatives! So we kept very busy builing displays, putting together literature, giving tours of our facility and trying to recruit, recruit, recruit!

Andrew and I also hosted number 18-25 of the people who have stayed with us since we moved into our new (larger) home in October! Dad told us that if the missionary thing didn't work out we could open a bed and breakfast (those of you who know how much I love to cook and clean, feel free to laugh now).

Phew...December was a busy month, but one filled with many blessings and in the moments when I get to pause and reflect I am so grateful for the family, the friends, and the ministry that God has seen fit to place in our lives. We love you all...and Happy New Year!!

January Update

2010-01-04T15:53:00.002-06:00

January 1, 2010

Dear Team,

Grace and Peace to each of you this new year! We hope this letter finds each of you doing very well. Well, I have good news and I have bad news. OK, bad news first: St. Louis just received the award for America’s 2nd most dangerous city. The good news is: Adria and I are exactly where God has called us to be!

Since I arrived in St. Louis nine years ago, St. Louis has consistently been in the top five America’s most dangerous cities, but, God has still done so many amazing things in this city. Since Adria and I have moved into our new neighborhood (about 5 blocks from our old house) several months ago, God has been helping us to develop some really great relationships.

Across the street from us is a house we call the four-flat. It is a big house with four apartments in it and it is rented out to several families. Our block is always active and very loud because of this house. A few months ago, the FBI came in and arrested ten people for drug related activity. Needless to say, I am a little intimidated by most of the people coming and going from this house.

There is never a dull moment from this house—whether it is mothers arguing on the front porch, people drinking and partying in the front yard, or guys shooting dice on the sidewalk. However, a big thing happened the other day. Adria and I were walking to our car and one of the guys who lives at the four-flat waved to us before we had a chance to wave.

Now that may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but this comes after two full months of waving every time I exited my house and getting nothing. I have been over a few times to spark conversation and it had not taken off.

What this wave meant to me was a chance to earn their respect and an opening to possible relationships. That house and the people in it are constantly in my prayers. Hopefully there are future Church leaders living in that house! Christ has a burden for this house and I am praying that God uses Adria and I in a mighty way to show them that there is something way better than their present life. God is mighty to save!

Adria and I host a Bible study at our house every Sunday night from 6-8p.m. Our intention is to eventually start a house Church from this Bible study. What potential there is right across the street for future leaders of this Church. Please be in prayer that our neighbor’s waves will turn into conversations, and those conversations will turn into conversions. St. Louis may be one of America’s most dangerous cities, but we are here to see that this city be won for Christ!

All for our Glorious and soon coming King!

Andrew & Adria Medlen

One Less

2009-12-10T14:14:00.002-06:00

Recently Andrew and I were returning from a weekend out of town. Tired and ready to be home we drove off Highway 70 toward our house. Looking around I took in the brick buildings, the tall white water tower with paint peeling, and I was comforted by its familiarity.

However, it wasn't long before I saw a new landmark, a pile of teddy bears, a memorial marking the place where someone had died. In the city this is a common way to honor lost family members who were killed through violence.

I've seen many of these memorials, but something about this one seemed shocking to me. I felt unsettled by it and profoundly sad. We had only been gone from the city for a few days, and yet we came home to a community with one less person. There was one less father or sister or son--one less loved one. Did this person know the Lord? I pray so, but there is now one less opportunity to share the love of Christ with one of His creation.

I don't know how long that memorial will stay in place, but every time I drive by it I am reminded of the urgency of the Gospel and the brokenness of this world. It makes me yearn for the Lord's return, and yet, there is so much work to be done...so many who do not know Him.

I am reminded of the quote by D.L. Moody in which he says, "Winners of souls must first be weepers of souls." Working in the city can sometimes be heartbreaking, yet the victory of our Lord needs to be proclaimed here. I pray for even just one more to be added to the Kingdom.

December Update

2009-12-03T15:37:00.001-06:00

December 1, 2009

Has a full year of calendar pages already been turned? We pray that this letter finds you well and experiencing the love of our Savior in this Christmas season! A new year is upon us, and it seems as if this year, more than others, has flown by. We want to take a moment to reflect on all the marvelous things God has done this year.

Although we have shared with you the great challenges we have experienced, this year has also been one in which God has revealed Himself at work in our lives through His strength and grace. With much growth and awe, we have watched Him answer prayers, surprise us with unexpected blessings, and come through when we could not. Here are a few of the things that God did this year:

• God proved faithful in Laniecha and Patricia’s family. Patricia came to know the Lord and continues to pursue a better life for her family.
• God provided a group of local college students to run our spring-break program when our usual groups had to cancel a month before.
• We were blessed by a core group of youth involved in our summer program! Through the program great relationships were formed, and two young girls came to know the Lord!
• We witnessed one young man mature in his faith this summer. He is now meeting regularly with one of our missionaries to do Bible study and be mentored.
• We were encouraged when we reconnected with a young man whom Andrew has known for many years. He was part of the Bridge of Hope youth group and came from a very difficult family life. He was transient, and it was difficult to stay connected to him. He has worked hard to overcome these obstacles. We visited him on campus as he experiences his first year of college!
• God laid it on our staff’s hearts to focus on young adults this year and opened doors for four new outreaches: Monday Night Football, Chess Club, High School Basketball, and Sunday Night Bible Study in our home.
• We were able to move to another World Impact house a few blocks away that has more space and allows us to host people more often.
• We are continuing to see opportunities of growth in the men who faithfully come to our adult basketball outreach.
• God continues to provide for our staffing needs. We have gained five staff members this year.

These are a few of the ways that God has proved faithful to us and to this ministry this year. We pray that you are able to look back and see His hand at work in your life too, even in the midst of life’s challenges. Thank you for your faithful prayers and support. Your faithfulness accomplishes much as we together serve our Lord and Savior!

Merry Christmas,
Andrew and Adria Medlen

Family Fall Fest 09!

2009-11-03T16:16:00.003-06:00

Our Family Fall Festival was a great success! Saturday from 6pm to 8pm we had about 200 people in the ministry center. The kids painted pumpkins, played games, went through a crazy maze we built out of refrigerator boxes in the gym, ate food and snacks, watched a Gospel Magic presentation, and had an all-around good time!

November Update

2009-11-02T12:08:00.001-06:00

November 1, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

God says He provides for all our needs. I believe this, but usually I apply this truth to broad contexts such as food and shelter and safety and still obsess about all the details in between. This year God has been teaching me a lot about what a detailed God He is and how His provision is not just a generic blanket of goodwill, but a daily attention to each new situation we face.

Last Fall one of our missionary couples told us that they felt God had called them to another ministry position and would be leaving within a year. We had one other missionary couple that we knew was encroaching upon retirement and with no sight of new staff, Andrew and my meetings with our director came to feel like survival meetings as we prepared to hold down the St. Louis ministry indefinitely. We doubted a little. We set our resolve. We prayed.

Spring came, the departure date of the missionary couple was drawing near, and there were no signs of additional staff. Then one day, out of the blue, our director received an email from an interested couple. They came for a visit. They came back a week later for an interview. They moved into staff housing a few weeks later. Randy and Hannah Riggs arrived two and a half months before the other staff couple left—just in time to learn the ropes and help fill the gaps. Each day since then, Andrew and I have marveled together at the specificity of God’s provision. He could have sent a few people to get us through, and that would have fulfilled the immediate need, but instead he sent a couple whose desire is to be long-term missionary staff, who have a heart for church planting, and whose gifts and talents specifically fill areas of great need in our ministry. And all this happened when we considered things to be at their most unnervingly last minute.

This year we have gained two year-long interns and hired two new support staff in addition to Randy and Hannah. God has been faithful to provide for our needs. Although this has been one of the most dramatic examples of His provision, I have continued to witness, both large and small, God’s attention to our daily needs. It is an exciting time in ministry as we are seeing pieces, that once seemed disconnected and without direction, coming together and finding momentum in ministry. I believe God is moving mightily here in North St. Louis.

Through this all I have realized that my faith is small but my God is all-encompassing and completely faithful. After witnessing God’s perfect provision for our staffing needs it is impossible to go back to a place where I could worry that we will not have the right people at the right time to do what God wants us to do. However, I am ashamed to say that this confidence came not from faith but from sight. I pray for God to continue to teach me to live out a lifestyle of faith in every area of my worrying, controlling personality. I do not want Jesus to look at me and say, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed (John 20:29)." I want to be one of those who believes even when I do not see!

As the Thanksgiving holiday is upon us I am even more aware of how much we have to be grateful for in our service of such a great and loving and detailed God. I marvel at the way He has brought each of you along side us in this journey—how He uses you through prayer and finances and care packages and notes of encouragement to meet very specific needs in our ministry and personal lives. Thank you for serving with us. Your faithfulness has continually proven God’s faithfulness, even when Andrew and I have had short-sighted faith! Praise God for His goodness and mercy.
For His Kingdom, Andrew and Adria Medlen

The Winds of Change Seem Like Gale Force Winds

2009-10-06T15:35:00.004-05:00

In a perfect world for me (Adria), the Winds of Change would be a light breeze, something gentle and pleasant...the kind of breeze that gently pushes back stale air and draws refreshingly cool and fragrant air across your skin as you lay under the sun on the beach. Rarely has this idyllic metaphor proven itself to be the way of life. These days the Winds of Change seem like gale force winds. Under the pressure of these winds old things are completely blown away and the new is suddenly and immediately dropped into your path. It's not my favorite part of life.

Life and ministry (can the two even really be considered separately in ministry?) have been a swirl with these kinds of change. Pieces of the known have been ripped up and thrown off in the distance and new things have been dropped into our path, like transplanted debris in a storm. It makes me feel a little unsettled, tired, frustrated, excited and sad.

I have always had a little difficulty saying goodbye to what is safe and comfortable. We recently had a staff couple leave, who are good friends and who came on at the same time I did, which was a hard loss. Andrew and I moved yet again and it all came about in a surge of activity that left me tired and frustrated - this is my 4th move in 4 years. Our move was to a bigger staff house only a few blocks away (a good move), but each block here is nearly like its own neighborhood and it feels further from our previous "home" than it really is. My ideas, vision, competancy, relationships, and personality have been challenged by new horizons.

The new things God is bringing to us are exciting: new staff, new programs, new contacts, new possibilities. It is so evident that God is providing and moving in special ways right now. I find joy in these things, yet, the very fact that these things are new and sudden things leaves me feeling a little unsettled. It takes extra energy for me to build new relationships and start up programs. It places a nervous excitement in my stomach as I see what can and will be, yet am overwhelmed with the process.

And so, I find myself in an unwarranted state of melancholy, presented with so many waves of great blessings and yet like a new sailor at sea, struggling to still feel grounded. Praise God that He does not rely on my delicate constitution to stir up good things, for He is doing great things here, and I pray that He will have patience with me until I get my sea legs!

October Update

2009-10-06T15:34:00.001-05:00

October 1, 2009

Dear Team,

Taking youth and children to camp is one of the highlights during the summer, both for me and for the youth that we take. This summer we had the opportunity to take three youth and five kids to summer camp at Morning Star Ranch in Florence, KS. It is a World Impact camp that we go to every summer.

The last week of the summer program was the children’s week at camp. Three of the five kids who went were siblings. About an hour into the drive to camp, we were driving by a field full of cows and Darren, who is 10 years old, asked what we were driving by. It was at that moment that I realized that Darren had never before seen a cow in real life.

After talking with Darren a little more, he went on to tell me that he has never even been outside St. Louis city limits. So, to see a cow in person and not just on the television was a huge deal to him and his siblings. His reaction to every cow that we saw on our seven hour trip was “OOH, look at the cows”. I wish you could have seen the excitement on his face and in his voice. After we arrived at camp, which is also a ranch, he saw many different animals for the first time. I think the funniest reaction was when he saw a frog for the first time. The frog was jumping around and got real close to him—and I am sure you can imagine it was another priceless moment.

At the end of the week, we always stop on our way home for an evening meal at a McDonald’s. Each kid got a drink and as we were at the soda fountain to get our drinks, I noticed him struggling to figure out how to work the lever. I did not think too much of it and I showed him how to get a drink from the soda fountain. I then asked him if he had been to a McDonald’s before. His response floored me. In Darren’s 10 years of life, his family has not had the means to ever take him to a McDonald’s.

After we arrived back in St. Louis, Adria asked Darren what his favorite part of camp was. Darren’s classic response was “the WHOLE thing was my favorite part”. It was in that moment that God allowed me to see just what this trip had meant to Darren. I cannot put in to words what an honor it was to be a part of that experience for him.

I relay this letter to you because you are a part of this. Because you have sent Adria and I through your prayers and support you make it possible for us to love Darren and his family in a way that they have never experienced. You may not be right here with us, but you have sent us and we are representing you in our ministry together in St. Louis. Keep praying for Darren and his family. They are involved in a great local church and God has great plans for them. All glory to the King of Kings!

Grace and Peace,
Andrew & Adria Medlen

I'm just a Christian Doing My Job

2009-09-29T10:19:00.003-05:00

When the days start to blur together and I start wondering if I'm having any effect at all, it's stories like this that give me new vigor. This morning Andrew and I sat talking with a fellow staff member after our morning prayer meeting and the conversation turned to a young man who has been part of our programs for several years. This year he has shown huge steps in his desire to follow Christ and since he lives just down the street from Randy (our fellow staff member), Randy has been meeting with him on a regular basis.

This young man is 14--soon to be 15--and is one of those kids I loved from the moment I met his squirrelly self. He is so bright and funny and has blown us away with some of his wise comments in group discussions.

So, the story is this: Yesterday he was hanging out with Randy as Randy finished up his evening yard work. As they talked and joked, Randy walked to their back dumpster to pick up the trash that inevitably collects in the alley and this young man pitched in to help. Randy encouraged his participation by saying to him, "You are a gentleman and a scholar."

The young man, vigorously scooping up trash, responded, "Nope. I'm just a Christian doing my job."

Later he pondered aloud, "We're kind of like superheros. No, we're Super Christians, doing good that nobody knows about."

What a beautiful, hilarous connection. It is amazing to see this young man "getting" it. Please pray for him as he continues to grow and learn about what it means to walk with Christ. He has so much potential, has such an open spirit, is so bright...God is eqquiping a mighty man for Him, I think. Still, there are struggles in his home life; this young man takes care of a great deal at his home, and he struggles in his education...though very smart, his education has failed him and he has difficulty reading. Pray that he will continue to be a witness to his family and that he continues to teach us a thing or two about following Christ as well!

2009-09-01T09:39:00.001-05:00

September 1, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

My eyes were supposed to be closed, but I can never resist the temptation to look around when the speaker asks everyone to close their eyes and raise their hand, “If…. This time I justified my sneakiness by reasoning that our youth were the ones responding and we needed to know the answer to better help them.

It was the last night at Jr. High Camp where youth from several World Impact ministries spent the end of their summer learning about trusting in the firm foundation of Christ and allowing Him to build new things in their lives. The statement they were responding to this time was “Raise your hands if you have been told that you are worth nothing or that you wouldn’t amount to anything.” Hands went up all around the room.

Then the speaker asked those students to come to the front of the room and the camp counselors to come pray over them. The sound of metal chairs scratching on the concrete floor filled the room as broken and timid youth walked forward. There was a solemn pain in the air that seemed palpable as I stood up front, for the second night in a row, with a Jr. High girl holding tightly to me. This night the arms wrapped around my waist were those of a young girl from the World Impact Dallas ministry. The youngest of all brothers, she was scrappy and full of attitude. Tonight, however, I could see past the protective walls she had built and saw a little girl trying to survive the pain and lies that made up her experience with life.

As I looked around the room I saw another young man with a reputation for clowning around leaning against the wall, staring straight ahead as slow tears tracked his cheeks, a counselor adamantly speaking truth over him. Yet another boy, a sweet, tenderhearted boy, had his head buried in the speaker’s chest crying.

A deep river of pain had been tapped into and even as we finished our prayers and closed out the session, many of the kids continued to cry, needing someone to help share the burden of their heavy tears and to fill their ears with whispers of hope.

It was one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking moments I have experienced. Their weary and tear-stained faces spoke of the abuse, neglect, rejection, and lies these youth have known, but even as I saw brokenness I was taken by the beauty and purpose written on their faces. And I wished so much that somehow they could see their faces just as I saw them then, surely only an imperfect version of Christ’s view of them.

As long as Andrew and I have been here in St. Louis we have witnessed things for which we have no answer in and of ourselves: Why do so many of these kids have to experience abuse? Why are people’s family members senselessly killed? Why do some have to experience the hardships of poverty?

I was reminded that week at camp that no words I can say will make right what those kids have experienced, but a willingness to see people as Christ sees them and to simply hold them and speak new words to them, words of life and of hope, can be life-changing. It was not by accident one of their memory verses that week was Jeremiah 29:11, because our God is a God of healing and of new beginnings, and He is a God who lovingly looks on each of us saying, “For I know the plans I have for you… plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Pray for these youth, and for our neighbors, that they would experience the healing of our heavenly Father and come to know their worth and purpose in His Kingdom.

For His Kingdom, Andrew & Adria Medlen

August Update

2009-08-31T10:30:00.000-05:00

August 1, 2009

Dear Team,

Greetings family and friends in the mighty name of our Lord! I (Andrew) hope this letter finds each of you well and giving your all for Christ. I wish each of you could come to St. Louis and experience one of my favorite things that we do each summer. Christian Family Day at the ball park is always a highlight for me. It is a day that World Impact receives a certain amount of free tickets to take our children and youth to a free baseball game at the St. Louis Cardinals stadium.
What a treat it is to partake in the activities of this day! This year we took 13 kids and youth to the game. The day started out with a carnival at a park downtown, where the kids played games and ate a free meal and ice cream. Then we went to the stadium where we enjoy watching baseball and eating a hot dog from the vendors.

If you had come to the game with us I would have introduced you to a nine-year-old girl named Jackie. Jackie is a girl that I met at the start of our summer program. She has been coming faithfully to our program and learning about Jesus and the love He has for us. Through her attendance and good behavior, she earned the reward to attend Christian Family Day with us. Jackie is like most of the kids that we bring to the game, in that this is the first professional baseball game that they have ever been too.

It is so neat to see the excitement on their faces as they finally reach their seats and just look around to see everything going on around them. They cheer for their team and just love being in the atmosphere of it all. I had the opportunity to sit next to Jackie that day. During the 3rd inning, I opened up my book bag and brought out some peanuts that Adria and I had brought for the kids that day. Again her eyes just lit up with joy. About five minutes into eating her peanuts, Jackie looked up at me and asked if I was having a good time. I told her I was having a great time and asked her if she was having a good time too.

Jackie looked at me with a huge smile. “I am having a good time,” she said. Then about 30 seconds later, she looks at me and said again, “I’m having a great time.” Then she sat back in her chair and said, “I’m just sitting here with Andrew eating peanuts and enjoying myself. Andrew and me are just sitting here eating our peanuts and enjoying ourselves”. In that moment, it all became clear to me how much this event had meant to Jackie.

I will never forget the day that I had the privilege to take Jackie and so many others to experience their first baseball game. Bringing joy and excitement to a kid seems to be more and more difficult these days. But that day, it was easy as a baseball game and some peanuts. Please keep praying for kids like Jackie. She has a rough home life and needs the love of Jesus Christ to come and complete her family. Pray for Adria and I as we continue to pour into these youth and children the joy that a relationship with our Lord can bring. Thank you for helping us and making this a priority for you. We value you so much and count it a joy to be on the same team as you.

All for our soon and coming King,
Andrew & Adria Medlen

Keep It R.E.A.L.

2009-07-17T13:18:00.004-05:00

I love Keep It R.E.A.L.. It has forever changed our youth programs. It's the standard we teach, enforce, and have fun with! Below are the words to the Keep It R.E.A.L. rap (written by one of our staff) and a video of the kids singing it.

KEEP IT R.E.A.L.
By Will Ward

Chorus:
(Keep it REAL)………..The “R” means respect each other……
(Keep it REAL)………..The “E” means encourage one another…….
(Keep it REAL)………..The “A” stands
for attitude adjustment……..
(Keep it REAL)………..And the letter “L” means listen up, and……

(Repeat 2x)

Verse:
Love each other more than yourself,
That’s what the bible says in Romans, verse 10, chapter 12…
Ephesians 4:29,
Says always try to say the right thing at the right time………
Philippians 2, verses 3 through 5,
Says be unselfish……keep a humble mind……
And James 1:19 tells me,
That I should be….quick to listen, slow to speak !!

The Summer So far...in Pictures

2009-07-10T09:52:00.005-05:00

July Update

2009-07-06T08:50:00.000-05:00

July 1, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

The more I come to know the Gospel the less I understand what it is that happens in that moment of realization of one’s powerlessness to make right all that has gone wrong, when a finite human being dons the very likeness of the infinite God and Savior. And the more I learn of the love of God the less my mind is able to wrap around the fact that a perfect, holy God calls each of us by name to a relationship with Him.

Though I may not understand God’s ways, I do know that I too often think of the Gospel as a static thing, something fixed in time. But the reality is that the Gospel—that is the truth about the person and work of Jesus Christ—is constantly in motion, drawing some, repelling others, and continually slaying any of our self-assured attempts to control our lives. The truth of the Gospel is no less at work in my life today than it was the day I first accepted it as truth.

My friend Patricia has allowed me to see this process more objectively than I can see it in myself. You all have been so faithful to pray and to encourage Patricia and her daughter Laniecha as I have continued to share their story with you. And as always, God has been faithfully working. If you have been following our blog you may already know some of the ways in which He has worked. God continued to deepen my relationship with Patricia and knowing that she has been unemployed for the last six months I encouraged her to attend a Christian job training program we partner with, and she agreed to go. At first she went to find a job, but very quickly our weekly meetings became so much more to her. And one night after class we sat in the car and talked about God’s plan for her life. Although she said she had never before been told the full truth of the Gospel, she then heard it clearly and was drawn to God’s faithful and personal call.

That moment she donned the likeness of our Savior. It is a miraculous and mysterious change; however, so much of the miracle of the Gospel happens after that moment. In the following weeks I have seen Patricia shed the daily hold depression had on her life, she graduated from the job training program and enrolled in G.E.D. classes. She has tirelessly been searching for a job, refusing to give up on her new goal to work towards retail management even in the face of disappointments. Patricia has begun to work on being a better mother. She is striving to be an example of success to her three daughters and is trying to repair damaged relationships through family counseling.

To me the miracle is evident each day that I see the anger gone from her eyes and her smile revealing new hope. I pray that Patricia never gets over the Gospel. I pray that for myself. I pray that for you. Thank you for your faithful prayers—you see, God is working miracles because of them. Patricia recently told me something about her family’s journey that I believe is true for all of us under the influence of the Gospel: “How long you’re on the journey depends on how far you’ve got to go—and we’ve got a long way to go. We’ll get there, but until then we’ll be on our journey!”

Being Ever Changed by the Truth, Andrew & Adria Medlen

Does God Rap?

2009-06-23T22:42:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was one of those days where it's so hot you discover sweat glands in places you didn't think they should be, but, we had Bible Club and Kid's Club anyway! Our numbers were down a little but there were a faithful few kids who braved the excruciating heat to spend time with us crazy missionaries sitting under a canopy in an otherwise shadeless yard to lead Bible Club...and then came up to the Ministry Center for club as well.

One 15-year-old boy showed up that afternoon who hadn't come to club at all last week. Two summers ago, he accepted Christ at club, but the last two years have been a struggle for him to grow in that decision. He arrived yesterday just before our scheduled devotion time and I was a little worried about how his behavior would unfold...it can often be, shall we say, disruptive.

Pride was the topic of our devotion that day and Jason, another staff member, was relating the concept of pride to the idea of having "swag" (being better at something than anyone else--for all those non-urban inclined folks). Ultimately he said that having pride or saying that we're the best at something means that we're not remembering that God is the best. At the beginning of the devo, this particular young man was messing around with his cell phone and not really listening. But, as Jason continued to talk, he started participating in the conversation and really focusing in on what was being said. By the time Jason ended with prayer, the boy's eyes were completely glued on him.

As we filed out of the room for our next activity he came up along side Jason and asked him, "So, if God is better than us at everything, does God rap?"

"Well there's a lot of poetry in the Bible," Jason said; "And who wrote the Bible?"

"God did," the young man answered.

Jason continued, "We don't do anything that God hasn't given us the ability to do, the only difference is whether we use it to honor God or not."

"Hmm, I never thought of that before" was the reply.

This summer our theme is "Don't Waste Your Life!" and we're talking about how to do everything we do in life for God. It was a theme that we kind of stumbled upon but I am more and more seeing God's hand in the choice.

My prayer is that this summer some of these kids might see life a little bit differently, that maybe this year the Gospel would be more real and applicable to their lives. There are a few of the boys in particular that I feel God may be working on this summer. Maybe this one particular young man is already thinking about God in a little different light...he never thought about the God of our Bible Club stories being the God of rap music too.

St. Louis' History of Racial Tension

2009-06-21T12:38:00.005-05:00

One of the other missionaries on staff came across this article today (picture and link to article below). The racial riots it discusses happened right in our neighborhood. Fairgrounds Park is only 3 blocks north of World Impact, Old Sportsman's Park is directly across the street and St. Louis Avenue is four blocks south of World Impact and right where Andrew and I live.

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/74C03DE0823EFD0D862575DB0011A7E9?OpenDocument

While racial riots are not the norm, violence and racial tension are still major issues here in the city of St. Louis and our community has been at the center of the turmoil over the years.

Summer Carnival

2009-06-15T19:47:00.018-05:00

Earlier this week one nine-year-old boy yelled excitedly when handed a Carnival flyer: "YAAAAAY!!! SATURDAY FUN DAY!!! And he was right. From 2pm until 7:30pm this last Saturday over 200 neighbors from our community enjoyed games, inflatables, food, face painting, a concert and more! With all the recent rain, God provided a beautiful clear day for all our plans! 25+ volunteers from area churches helped us man the games and serve food and a local health clinic did free health screenings.

This was all done right outside our building to promote the beginning of our Summer Youth Programs and our Just for Mom's group which both kicked off today! Rain kept too many kids away today, but we are anticipating a full and exciting summer ahead of us. Thanks to everyone whose been praying for our programs. I'm continually convinced that God is a God of details and He is faithful in all things--no matter how big or small. Enjoy a few snapshots of our block-party fun....

June Update

2009-06-15T19:31:00.002-05:00

June 1, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

I hope each of you are doing so well! Living and serving in the city is such a neat experience and knowing that you all are praying for us gives us a peace that only comes from our soon and coming king!

A couple of months ago, I (Andrew) told you about a young man named James. He was one of the first guys that I met moving to St. Louis almost nine years ago. He finally made a recent decision to accept Christ as his Lord and Savior. It has been so neat to mentor him and see him grow. But this growth has not come without the hard times as well. He has grown in so many areas but still struggles with going back to his old way of life.

Last week was another life altering moment in the life of James. James was headed home after work one night, waiting for his second bus connection. It was dark outside and out of the blue, something potentially very dangerous happened. A guy with a gun put his weapon in the back of James' head and told him to give him everything he had in his pockets. Not wanting to test the limits of this robber, James gave him $75 of the cash he had and his cell phone. James gave the man his valuables thinking that this would satisfy the robber. But what happens next will blow your mind.

After James gave the robber his cash and his phone, the robber pulled the trigger of the gun still at the back of James' head. James heard the "click" but nothing happened--the gun jammed. This blew my mind when I first heard about it. I immediately thought that God has something big planned for this youn man's life. The gun jammed--his life was spared.

James is a brother in Christ who is growing and learning how to have a relationship with Christ. He is moving to his first apartment, working two jobs, and saving up money for his first car. James is making huge life choices. The robber that pulled the trigger that night was looking to destroy James, but the Lord stepped in and saved his life. Pray with us that James continues to see God working in his life and is strengthened in his walk with God.

Adria and I are grateful that your prayers and support are allowing us to live and serve in this great city. God has done so many things here and it seems like He has only begun to be about His business in our community. Please do not stop praying. Praying for us is the most important thing you could ever do for us. We cherish each of you prayers. God is at work in this great city and we are humbled and amazed that God allows us to be a part of learning and serving here.

All for Our Coming King!

Adria & Andrew Medlen

2009-06-15T19:31:00.000-05:00

May Update

2009-05-26T10:43:00.001-05:00

May 1, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

Spring came to St. Louis this year with indecision. Wintry gusts and glorious warm sunshine battled each other against temperance, taking us on a rollercoaster ride of hope on the short-sleeve and flip-flop days and gloom when we again donned our winter coats. For this particular Southern California girl, the hope brought by the warmer days was ruined with the knowledge that tomorrow would bring back the torture of below 30 degree weather and that the only window of good weather before the hot and slimy summer begins was being wasted!

Spring also brought our annual Spring Break program for youth, grades 1st-9th, in our neighborhood. We went on a collective “Truth Trek” as we dug for the treasure of God’s truth in His Word. Each day we covered some of the Ten Commandments and applied them to our lives and by the end of the week the youth had memorized all ten and knew to apply them to respecting God and family and friends. It was a good week. We had wonderful help from partnering college students, regular attendance from the youth, and three young boys accepted Christ on the last day of the program.

Then we started back into our regular after-school program and no one showed on the first Tuesday back. Wednesday we were hopeful when six arrived. Thursday we were a little confused when only three were present. We let a little gloom nudge out the hope we had felt the week before and I began thinking about the pace of ministry here in the city. One week I thrill with expectation when someone comes to know the Lord, the next I have to confront my ignorance in the fact that a young girl I am deeply invested in has been making some very poor decisions and I feel crushed.

Sometimes I begin to think that hope is the enemy; it only sets us up to despair when the northern winds blow. Life in the city wages war on temperance and the families we work with see little consistency in their lives. Crises arise on a daily basis; youth attend our programs, have a blast and learn a lot, and then get swallowed up by the issues at home. So often ministry here imitates the environment and we seem to see many warm rays of sunshine blown away by a wintry gust.

However, I am coming to believe that hope has more depth and stillness than a top-of-the-rollercoaster sensation. Real hope, that is the hope we have in Jesus Christ, is a grounded walk that brings us straight to a victorious eternity in Him. That kind of hope cannot be shoved aside by any disappointment or crisis. I am reminded of Martin Luther’s quote: “Here I stand and I will not be moved.” Come wintry wind and pleasant sunshine, hope cannot be moved.

Pray with us for a community so in need of the peace and foundation of hope in Jesus Christ. Pray for our staff, as we sometimes fail to establish our hope on The Rock. Hope with us, in the knowledge that Christ is ultimately victorious and, come what may, His plans will stand firm in this city. Thank you all for your faithful prayers and support. You are a great encouragement to us.

For His Kingdom, Andrew & Adria Medlen

A Graduate!

2009-04-07T10:24:00.009-05:00

Last night Andrew and I attended the Job Alliance Graduation, in which Patricia was one of the five graduates! It was a beautiful time dedicated to the hard work and life-changes the five women have accomplished over the past two months. There was joy and hope reflected in Patricia's face, as she now sees a clearer path in front of her and a hope for her family in Christ.

Job Alliance (Jobs For Life) was originally sponsored here in St. Louis by World Impact's first church plant and is now a rapidly growing program here in North city. This program doesn't only teach job skills, it provides an opportunity for people who have found themselves in difficult circumstances to learn strategies that will help them overcome life's obstacles, to find support in like-minded people, and to see the hope they can have in Jesus Christ.

God is doing a mighty work in Patricia. Continue to pray for her as she has started her GED classes this week and would like to have her GED completed in the coming months.

One Body

2009-04-06T09:46:00.003-05:00

There are plenty of guys in our neighborhood, they have children, they are in relationships and they hang out on the block most of the day, but there are very few men here. Most of the households in our community are female-headed. If you visit a neighboring church you will often find women's names listed in the church bulletins as the primary leaders in the services. If you talk to the kids in our neighborhood, very few of them have a father who is active in their lives.

Yesterday Andrew and I took Patricia and Ja'Marion to World Impact's first church plant, Jubilee Community Church. There were men there. There were plenty of strong women there too, but the men were showing leadership and sitting beside their wives in the service. During the church's prayer time, in which they take prayer requests, a single mother asked prayer for her young son, who looked to be about eight. She asked that the church pray for him, since his father was mostly absent and even at his young age he was feeling the pressure to take on the responsibility of being the man of the house. A pastor in the church was asked to lay hands on the boy and pray for him, but immediately men from around the sanctuary stood and came to lay hands on the boy as well.

It was moving to see the men in the congregation rush to uphold this little one, to stand in the gap his absent father had left. The pastor challenged the men standing around the boy to take it upon themselves to be there for this young man and to take him under their care and guidance. I pray those men follow through, for that child will make it through the trying years to come if he has those men to stand beside him.

I was once again struck with the beauty of the family of God. We are the Body of Christ, none of us seperate from another. It has been my time here in the city that has shown me the importance of the Church. Not, Sunday services, but being the church to one another. Only in the Body of Christ can this young boy have a ten-fold return on the one father who has opted out of his life.

I am as guilty as any for going to church and seeing faces that I think have nothing to do with my own. Or even thinking of church as a building and a service. I am the church and you are the church. Those men and that young boy are the church. One body, united in Christ. Our unity is bound in Christ; it is not confined by anything less: no four walls, no worship service, no distant miles, no denomination, no broken life experiences, no cultural barrier. We have only to acknowledge this unity and walk in it to see the fatherless brought up, the broken healed, and the seemingly put-together and independent Christians at last find their needs.

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body— Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. (1 Corinthians 12:12-13)

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. (2 Corinthians 5: 10)

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Colossions 3:14-16)

Spring Break 2009!

2009-04-01T15:25:00.008-05:00

We went on a Truth Trek with the kids to discover the treasures of God's truth in His Word! Our journey to dig up these treasures took us through the Ten Commandments and how they apply to our lives. It was so fun to see the kids connect the commandments to their actions towards God, family, and friends.

College students from Greenville Christian College in Illinois and Clemson University in South Carolina helped us run the week-long program, which included Bible Lessons, games, and electives like art, magic, sports, cooking, drama, and newspaper!

The week of fun ended with a Friday Night Family Night where we had 40 people for food, fellowship and a showcase of what the kids did that week.

April Update

2009-04-01T15:24:00.001-05:00

April 1, 2009

Dear Team,

Greetings friends and family! Adria and I hope this letter finds you all doing very well. Many people ask us what things we are involved with here at World Impact St. Louis. Quite simply, one of the many things we have the privilege to do is to be professional neighbors.

In the time that Adria and I have been here, we have been very blessed to have such great neighbors. We have had meals together, trips to the store together, and have prayed together—pretty normal things that good neighbors do. But this last month has been a trying time for me. Unknowingly to me, I quite simply offended one of my neighbors. Through a series of misunderstandings, I upset my neighbor to the point that she very heatedly let me know of her anger.

After about 30 minutes of listening to my neighbor vent and praying the entire time, I had a chance to try to clear up the situation. It took her quite a while to calm down, but she finally started to listen and we got the situation back on better terms.

For the first time in almost nine years of living in St. Louis, I had a conflict with one of my neighbors. This really bothered me for a few days as I tried to process the situation and what I could have done better to not offend my neighbor. Then I started to think about this situation in other terms. What was going on deep in my neighbor’s life to cause her to handle this situation the way she did? I started to see a person who has been deeply hurt in life, who has had a life of people doing her wrong, and she had placed me in that same category.

I have continued to be friendly and work to show her love and slowly the walls are coming back down. As hard as I try, I will never be able see my neighbors exactly as Christ does. But, as a follower of Christ and a professional neighbor, I must do my best to see them as Christ sees them and treat them in a Godly and loving way.

Please pray for Adria and I as we do our best to live loving and lasting relationships with our neighbors. Pray that we are sensitive to the past that many of our neighbors have gone through. It is our desire that through us our neighbors will see a visible and understandable reflection of Christ. Also pray that our neighbors would see Christ in a new way and be so attracted to Him that they accept Jesus as their perfect and loving Father. Thank you for your steadfast prayers and faithful giving.

All for our Mighty King

Andrew & Adria Medlen

God Moves When We Pray!

2009-03-06T11:01:00.005-06:00

As I just posted the last blog with our March Prayer Letter I read it and was amazed at how God works. God is most certainly moving in this family that has become so dear to my heart. God has seen fit to draw Patricia to Himself and she has responded! I am so excited to call my dear friend Patricia, my sister in Christ!

Even as many of you are just now receiving this letter and beginning to pray for Patricia, there are many of you who have already invested much prayer into this family and have followed the ups and the downs in their lives with Andrew and I. I am so grateful to you. God has proven faithful and has answered the prayer that Patricia would come to know Him!

There are still struggles and obstacles that tempt discouragement in my heart, and could deter this family from making forward progress, but I am praising God for this beautiful victory and I am anticipating even greater works for them!

Thank you for your prayers--they are vital to what God is doing here. Continue to pray for this family. And pray that God will use Patricia and her girls in the future to bring the rest of their family to the Lord!

March Update

2009-03-06T10:57:00.001-06:00

March 1, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

If you are a fan of C.S. Lewis and the The Chronicles of Narnia as I (Adria) am, you will recall that in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe the creatures of Narnia are in great anticipation of Aslan’s rumored return. The return of Aslan meant the return of their long-awaited king and freedom from the tyranny of the White Witch. The children who stumbled upon this land at first do not understand the excitement, for they do not know Aslan. When they express their confusion the creatures tell them with hushed and reverent anticipation, “Aslan is on the move.”

Recently I have felt as if I have told myself the very same thing, “God is on the move.” Granted, God is always on the move and usually I am just too self-absorbed and stressed-out to see Him moving, but sometimes He is gracious enough to draw me in and let my heart feel the excitement of serving such a mighty God.

Those moments of hushed and reverent anticipation come often in the face of great adversity. I think this is in part what Paul is talking about in Philippians 4:7 when he writes, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It is the hope and peace we have in Christ that guards our hearts in times of difficulty, and sometimes, God uses those times of trial to open our eyes to His working hand.

My relationship with Laniecha, her son, and her family has been full of ups and downs, times of certain growth, and times when I do not even know what it is I am doing in their lives. Recently, however, God opened a door for me to step into a deeper relationship with Laniecha’s mother, Patricia, something I have been praying about for some time. As I shared a meal of French fries and hamburgers with her one day, her burdens spilled out onto a semi-clean McDonald’s table and she was real and vulnerable and looking for a solid foundation for her hopes. She shared her mistakes and her hopes for the future and I listened. She is beginning to take tentative steps to feel out a more certain path and I pray that it leads straight to Jesus, but in the mean time there are a great deal of obstacles ahead for her and her family.

Yet, I am certain that God is at work in this family. I do not know how it will look or what timing it will follow, but I can rest in the fact that God is moving and, amazingly, He has included me in the process. Your prayers are so appreciated for this family and for the ministry. We have some difficult challenges ahead of us, and yet we are certain that God is working and moving. The knowledge that we are in your continued prayers only strengthens our peace which transcends all understanding, for our surroundings are bleak and the battle is daunting but, “God is on the move.”

For His Kingdom,

Andrew & Adria Medlen

What are you doing here?

2009-02-26T15:53:00.003-06:00

Last night one of our ministry vans was broken into. Thanks to a neighbor's awareness the damage done was fairly minimal before the two young guys were scared off. So much for the security of a club, because she spotted them walking down the block with the van club in-hand. Then as she returned from the corner market she saw them back in the van and scared them off. They managed to take the club, jack the driver's side key lock and completely remove the key lock in the steering column.

This would seem like the interesting story, but car break-ins really aren't that unusual around here. What was interesting to me was the encounter with the Crime Lab Technician who came to dust for fingerprints (none were found, however).

Andrew, myself, and another staff member, Gil, were waiting outside with the police officer handling the case when the Crime Lab van pulled up in front of World Impact. As the technician stepped out onto the street and looked up to see three white faces looking back at him, he exclaimed, "What are YOU doing here?!"

This is a question we've heard many times from police officers in the area, but maybe none have asked it with such force. We made small conversation with him while he dusted the door and steering wheel for finger prints. We told him we lived close by and worked at World Impact. He didn't seem too taken by our explanations and still had a look on his face that reinforced his previous insinuations.

It was what he said next that was most impacting from the whole evening. As he dusted the door with flashlight in hand he started in with, "There's a million different ways they could've gotten the club off. They've got 24 hours a day to think of ways. They couldn't spell CAT if you spotted them the 'C' and the 'T'. If they would only use their ingenuity towards something positive..." He continued with his stereotyping and oversimplifying and I found myself getting a little tense and feeling defensive.

Granted, figuring out ways to get a club off a car is not a positive use of one's time. However, I wanted to say, "If they can't spell CAT it's probably because our screwed up, non-accredited school system didn't teach them anything!" Or, "Maybe they are just like people everywhere in the world, who when faced with decisions to do the hard thing or the easy thing, just do the easy thing because it's what they know."

No doubt this officer is a nice man with good intentions, who has been jaded by his years of work on the streets, but his obvious ignorance to some of the real issues in our community and the blatant stereotyping saddened me. And I know that there are many in our neighborhood who would throw back stereotypes with equal force about crooked cops. I was struck with the depth of the chasm between cultures...still...in this day and age of political correctness. There is so much misunderstanding and so much lack of effort to cross the seemingly stone-carved barriers on both sides.

All day today that incident has left it's heavy trail throughout my thoughts. Last night, as I watched him back up his van, flip on the police lights and head off to a murder scene in another section of town I was left with the feeling that society (including all sides) as a whole is OK with just doing damage control and it burdens my heart with how far we have yet to go to bridge the gaps, to have justice for all, to see all men as equal.

We continue to pray peace, renewal, and revival over our city for all its inhabitants.

Ja'Marion's First Birthday!

2009-02-24T20:56:00.014-06:00

It's hard to believe that one year ago today, I (Adria) stood in the delivery room as little Ja'Marion made his entrance! What a year this has been. There have been so many challenges and so many joys as we have walked with this family over the past year. We pray that God blesses Ja'Marion and directs him in a path that brings God glory. Keep praying for this family because God is working in their lives!!

Here are some photos from our little party...